Chapter 3
SCENE #26 – INT – CARGO HOLD, S.S. MAJESTY – NIGHT
It’s now night-time. Billy slowly wakes up, recovering after being drugged. As he wakes up, he takes in his surroundings before he notices Nyssa beside him. He gently nudges Nyssa to wake her up.
BILLY
Nyssa? Nyssa, sweetheart? Are you alright? Can you hear me?
Nyssa groans, as she’s still unconscious. Billy quickly gives her a kiss on the lips to revive her.
BILLY
Nyssa, darling! Please, wake up! It’s me, Billy!
Nyssa groans again as she finally comes around and opens her eyes to see Billy.
NYSSA
(teasingly) I know it’s you, Billy. How could I forget that sweet, silly, lovely voice?
BILLY
How are you feeling?
NYSSA
Sort of…disorientated. And unwell. My arms and legs feel stiff. And my eyes ache as I wake up.
BILLY
They certainly knocked us out cold with…whatever it was they knocked us out with.
NYSSA
How do you feel though, Billy? Same as me, I suppose.
BILLY
Pretty much, yes.
Nyssa groans, as she sits herself up. She looks down and finds herself and Billy scantily dressed.
NYSSA
My clothes! They took away my lovely dress! I’m in my undergarments!
BILLY
Yes. They took my clothes too. They obviously wanted to use them for some dastardly scheme of theirs. (Pause) At least they’ve given us clothes to wear. That’s decent.
NYSSA
Decent is hardly the word I’m looking for. These clothes they’ve given us are so impractical. Not to mention tasteless.
BILLY
Well, at least they’ll keep us warm. Like this jacket I’ve got here.
Billy takes a sniff at the jacket.
BILLY
(disgusted) Ugh! Whoever wore it certainly sweated a lot.
NYSSA
It’s filthy. How can they give us such clothes as these? It’s horrendous and humiliating.
BILLY
Well, at least it proves who we’re dealing with.
NYSSA
Who?
BILLY
Hardened criminals.
NYSSA
They’re probably more like petty thieves. Stowaways that got aboard the ship and tried to pass off as passengers by abducting us and stealing our clothes.
BILLY
In the dining area? During one of Judy and Mickey’s musical numbers? I’m not convinced.
NYSSA
You could be right. I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation.
BILLY
Reasonable? Logical, yes, but reasonable? I’d laugh it in their faces, I would.
NYSSA
Well, I might as well try these clothes on. I don’t want to feel colder than I already am.
Nyssa gets up and starts to put on Snowy’s clothes with Billy sitting nearby.
BILLY
I hope we can find some way out of this place!
NYSSA
Have you tried opening the cargo hold doors?
Billy gets up and makes his way over to the cargo hold doors. He tugs at the doors to open them, but they refuse to budge. Billy grunts before he turns back to Nyssa.
BILLY
Sorry, Nyssa. No go. The doors won’t budge. They’ve locked us in, whoever they are.
NYSSA
We’ll have to wait until we receive some unexpected help from outside.
BILLY
How likely is that to happen then?
NYSSA
Uncertain.
BILLY
The Doctor perhaps.
NYSSA
Let’s hope so. If he knows we’re missing, he’ll come looking for us.
BILLY
Then again, it might take longer for him to realise that we’re missing.
NYSSA
There’s nothing we can do at the moment. We’ll just have to wait.
Moment of silence. Billy then hugs Nyssa.
BILLY
You’re not scared, are you?
NYSSA
No.
BILLY
Good. Because I already am.
Nyssa and Billy hug each other for a while longer as they remain locked in the cargo hold.
SCENE #27 – INT – JUDY’S CHANGING ROOM, S.S. MAJESTY – NIGHT
In Judy’s changing room, Mickey and Judy meet up after finishing their show.
JUDY
Well, they really liked us!
MICKEY
They sure did! You were terrific!
JUDY
Thanks! You didn’t do so bad yourself!
MICKEY
(coyly) I’ll take that as a compliment, dear lady.
JUDY
And so you should, dear sir.
Both laugh and giggle.
JUDY
That couple we met earlier. I thought they were spectacular the way they danced.
MICKEY
Yeah. Shame that they spoilt and ruined your number when they did.
JUDY
Oh, I didn’t mind. Actually, I rather liked it. Thought they were good dancers, didn’t you?
MICKEY
Oh, sure. They’re good, yeah. It’s just…I dunno why they make a scene. The way they come on whenever we come on. It’s like… It’s like they’re trying to take over from us.
JUDY
You’re exaggerating.
MICKEY
Maybe I am. But I can’t shake off this nagging feeling I have.
JUDY
They’re probably just admirers. I shouldn’t let it worry you, Mick.
MICKEY
You can talk. The way you were talked earlier, you thought you didn’t think yourself good either. Then you were spectacular just now!
JUDY
Yeah. Just imagine how a Broadway audience would react if they saw me. I don’t think I can stand much of that.
MICKEY
Oh, you’d be a sensation.
JUDY
No way. Broadway’s not for me. MGM, yes, but Broadway…
MICKEY
You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. I’d rate your skills and talents highly!
Just then, there’s a knock on the door. Moment of silence.
MICKEY
You’re expecting someone?
JUDY
Why, I can’t imagine. (calls) Come in!
The door opens. Snowy and Buster enter.
MICKEY
(astonished) Oh, it’s you two!
SNOWY
Hello! Sorry for barging in like this. But we had to come in and see you.
MICKEY
(protests) This is a private dressing room! You can’t just barge in…
JUDY
(to Mickey) It’s alright, Mick, it’s alright. (to Snowy; Buster) Hello, you two! How are you doing?
BUSTER
Doing great, thanks! Swell to see you again, Judy!
JUDY
You’re err…sorry, what was your name again?
BUSTER
(stammers) M-M-My name? Err…
SNOWY
Billy! His name’s Billy!
BUSTER
Is it? (snaps out of it) I mean, it is! Yes, it is! Hello, I’m Billy.
SNOWY
And I’m Nyssa.
BUSTER
My wife!
SNOWY
Yes, okay, Buster, I mean Billy. We’re not in our quarters yet.
MICKEY
Could you tell us why you’re here? We’re rather busy.
SNOWY
Yes, sorry about this. But we had to see you two urgently.
JUDY
Urgently? What’s so urgent about seeing us then?
BUSTER
Well, you saw how we danced to your number earlier. Nice singing, by the way.
JUDY
Gee, thanks. And yes, you two were amazing! (to Mickey) Weren’t they, Mickey?
MICKEY
Absolutely wonderful.
SNOWY
Well, that’s the thing, you see. We wanna let you know that…we’re the new Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers duo. (to Buster) Aren’t we, err, Billy?
BUSTER
Oh, yes! Yes! Absolutely, we are!
MICKEY
(scoffs) The new Fred and Ginger? Get outta here! You’re kidding us!
BUSTER
No, it’s true, we are!
SNOWY
You saw us out there just now! Do you want us to prove it again by dancing on the dance floor to Paul Whiteman?
JUDY
(hesitantly) Even if you are the new Fred and Ginger, why are you telling us this?
SNOWY
(gradually) We have a proposition for you two.
MICKEY
A proposition?
BUSTER
Yes. Something we think both of you will find very appealing. Especially you Miss Garland.
Another moment of silence, as Judy and Mickey consider this, intrigued.
JUDY
(gradually) Alright, we’re listening. What’s this proposition of yours?
SNOWY
That’s more like it! It’s very simple. You see…
SCENE #28 – INT – CARGO HOLD, S.S. MAJESTY – NIGHT
Back in the ship’s cargo hold, Billy wanders around in the space that he and Nyssa are in whilst they’re locked up. Nyssa is sitting down, watching Billy.
BILLY
There’s a ventilation shaft on top. (wryly) Placed conveniently in the far corner of the wall. No chance of reaching it. (sighs) If only we had a couple of boxes to get up there.
NYSSA
Be careful what you wish for, Billy
BILLY
You know what I mean. I ask for the impossible and improbable. That’s me all over.
NYSSA
There’s no point in worrying about how we can escape. Come and sit by me. Let’s think this through.
BILLY
(worked-up) I’m just anxious about what’s going on out there. Why have we been locked up in here? What did those criminals want and why they haven’t come back for us?
NYSSA
(calmly) Come and sit down, Billy. You’re getting yourself worked up for nothing. Come here.
BILLY
(sighs) Alright. If you say so.
Billy makes his way over to Nyssa and sits down beside her. They sit together, calmly thinking.
BILLY
What do you think is happening? Why would somebody lock us up in here whilst we’re enjoying a holiday? I don’t see the logic in that.
NYSSA
Neither do I. It boggles the mind, doesn’t it?
BILLY
More than boggles. I was hoping to have a nice relaxing honeymoon with you, sweetheart. I didn’t think something like this would happen on an ocean cruise ship in the Nineteen-Thirties.
NYSSA
That’s how things happen when you travel in the TARDIS. You should know that by now.
BILLY
Yes. Sorry for forgetting. (Pause) I wonder if the Doctor knows we’re missing yet.
NYSSA
Possibly, possibly not. (Pause) He’ll find out about us soon enough. Not at this exact moment perhaps. It might take the morning before he finds out we’re missing.
BILLY
So, we have to sleep this one out then. On the hard floor. In the cargo hold.
NYSSA
That’s as good as it gets, I’m afraid.
BILLY
(sighs) I’m so sorry, Nyssa. I wish this hadn’t happened.
NYSSA
(reassuringly) It’s not your fault. None of us were to know. There’s no need to blame yourself.
BILLY
Yes, but you could have done with a nice comfy bed on our first night together. Not on some hard floor as this.
NYSSA
No matter where we are, I’m happy that I’m with you.
BILLY
Really? Are you really happy?
NYSSA
Of course, my dear. I’m always happy when I’m with you.
BILLY
(gradually) Thank you, Nyssa. You make me feel so much better.
They kiss before they end up lying on the floor together. They try to make themselves comfortable, despite the hard floor. A moment of silence ensues.
BILLY
(gradually) Did you enjoy the show? What we saw of it anyway?
NYSSA
Yes, I thoroughly did enjoy it. I can see why Judy Garland makes a good impression on you.
BILLY
Well, she’s my favourite actress and singer. She’s from all the greats, including her, Fred Astaire, Ginger Rogers, Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra. (Pause) I don’t think I’ve really appreciated how good her singing is before I saw more of her films. But that was when I was a little older and I got to see more re-releases of her films at cinemas.
NYSSA
Re-releases?
BILLY
Yes! The cinemas re-released some of her films with Mickey Rooney back in the Nineteen-Fifties and Sixties. And loads of LP records of her songs have been sold around the world. Judy Garland fans like me would go mad for them. (Pause) I didn’t have so many LP records back home, but what I bought, I would cherish them every time I played the music on my Dad’s record player.
NYSSA
And here you are experiencing Judy Garland for real. And experiencing more of her music for the first time.
BILLY
(happily) Yes. Yes, I suppose I am, aren’t I? (Pause) I do know that the music I like isn’t to your tastes, but…
NYSSA
(interjects) No, no. I don’t mind the music you like, Billy. It’s rather relaxing sometimes.
BILLY
(surprised) Really? Oh! I’m glad you think so. (Pause) I don’t really go for the modern stuff they have in my time. Like the Beatles and so forth.
NYSSA
You’re not a Beatles fan then?
BILLY
Well, I do like some of their music, but it’s not really my cup of tea. (Pause) Why, have you heard their music?
NYSSA
Not really. But I have heard music from another group in the Nineteen-Sixties. The Common Men. Have you heard of them?
BILLY
(recalls) Oh, the Common Men, yes! Yes, I’ve heard their music too! I rather like them. More than the Beatles really.
NYSSA
I’m glad to hear you say that. It’s just as well I met them when I did in the Nineteen-Sixties.
BILLY
(amazed) Really? You’ve met the Common Men?!
Just then, a banging noise echoes on the door from outside. Nyssa and Billy get up from the floor, alerted to the banging.
NYSSA
Billy! Someone’s out there!
BILLY
Those crooks! They’ve come back!
NYSSA
I’m not sure it’s them! They locked us up in here. Why couldn’t they just get in with the key?
BILLY
Perhaps they lost it. Or dropped it. Or eaten it or something.
CRASH!!! Someone’s trying to break in with splinters of wood flying about all over the place.
NYSSA
Someone’s really that determined to break in!
BILLY
Yikes! Does it hurt to knock?
Nyssa and Billy back away, as the cargo hold door is being broken into. Eventually, the door opens, and the Doctor enters.
DOCTOR
(cheerfully) Ah! There you both are! Sorry for the forced entry!
NYSSA
(relieved) Doctor! Oh, thank goodness you’re here! We’re so glad you came to rescue us!
DOCTOR
Not at all, Nyssa. Happy to oblige.
BILLY
(astonished) How do you find us here?
DOCTOR
I’ll explain later. Right now, let’s get you both back to your cabin. We’ve got things to sort out!
NYSSA
(anxiously) Doctor, wait a minute! We were locked in here by some persons. What’s going on here? Has something [happened…?]
DOCTOR
(interrupts) Please, Nyssa; please, Billy. I’ll explain everything as soon as I can once I get you both back to your cabin. It’s the safest place to have a conversation.
Nyssa and Billy follow the Doctor, as they leave the cargo hold.
SCENE #29 – INT – FIRST OFFICER’S CABIN, S.S. MAJESTY – NIGHT
Meanwhile, Pugsley is taking a rest as he lies on the bunk bed in the first officer’s cabin.
PUGSLEY
(breathes deep; relaxes) Ah, yes! This is the life! A nice comfy bunk bed for the first officer! Just have a little rest before we get started.
Just then, there’s a knock on the door. Pugsley groans as another knock is made.
PUGSLEY
(impatiently) Yes, yes, what is it?
MIDSHIPMAN
(from outside) Sorry, sir. I know you said no-one was to disturb you, but…
PUGSLEY
What do you want, Midshipman?
MIDSHIPMAN
(from outside; continues) The Captain, sir. He wants you on the bridge immediately and to ‘make it snappy’. He sent me to tell you, sir.
PUGSLEY
(sighs) Okay, boy. Tell the Captain, I’ll be right up!
MIDSHIPMAN
(from outside) Right, sir.
With that, the Midshipman leaves. Pugsley breathes deeply, but he remains on the bunk bed, relaxing as he does so.
PUGSLEY
The Captain can’t push people about like that. I’ll come in my own time. Right now, I deserve my forty winks.
Pugsley chuckles, as he settles on the bunk bed, breathing deeply and being content.
PUGSLEY
The seaman’s life, as it should be. How can they say it gets so busy?
Just then, the door bursts open. Snowy and Buster enter.
PUGSLEY
(groans; annoyed) I said I’ll be right there, boy! What do you…?
SNOWY
(interjects; relieved) Pugsley! Thank goodness you’re here!
PUGSLEY
(annoyed) Oh, it’s you two again!
BUSTER
Who were you expecting? The Queen of Sheba?
PUGSLEY
What’s the matter now? Got triple versions of yourselves, have you?
SNOWY
(annoyed) Pugsley, shut up for a minute, will you? We’ve done it!
PUGSLEY
Done what?
BUSTER
We’ve done what you set us out to do! We got Judy and Mickey! They agreed to the proposition!
PUGSLEY
(surprised) What? They accepted from a couple of dimwits like you?
SNOWY
Hey! Less of the dimwits! And yes! They have, pal!
PUGSLEY
You two must be cleverer and cunning than I thought.
BUSTER
(wryly) Ha, ha, very funny. Now we’ve told you our success story, give us yours! What have you got in that package?
SNOWY
Buster, there’s plenty of time for that!
PUGSLEY
You’re right there, Snowy. Now we can move on with our plans. We can get onto reaching where we want to be in the Pacific. By morning, we should be there!
SNOWY
So, what do we do in the meantime then?
BUSTER
Yeah? What do you expect us to do apart from sleep?
PUGSLEY
Sleep? Ha! You won’t get any sleep tonight, Buster!
BUSTER
What?! No sleep? You can’t just say that and expect me [to…]
SNOWY
(interrupts) We can go without sleep, pretty boy! Just do what Pugsley says and we’ll be fine, alright?
BUSTER
(grumpily) Oh, very well. Whatever you say.
PUGSLEY
That’s better. Now I’d like you two to do another job for me.
BUSTER
(sceptically) Oh yeah? What does it involve?
PUGSLEY
Sabotage! It involves sabotage! I need you two to go down to engineering. There, I need you to take out specific components for the ship to stop. It has to stop so that it can’t be started again.
BUSTER
Great! Getting our hands dirty! That’s more like my kind of work!
SNOWY
(groans) Oh, and I’m wearing this lovely dress I stole from that girl we locked away with the boy in the cargo hold! I hate getting my hands dirty and spoiling my dress!
BUSTER
(coyly) Well, take the dress off. You can do without it.
SNOWY
(bitterly) Don’t be such a creep!
PUGSLEY
Alright, alright, that’s enough, you two! I haven’t got time to chit-chat and bicker with you all day. I’ve got to get up to the bridge. You see to it that engineering is sabotaged and take out the necessary components. I’ll tell you what to take out as we go along.
SNOWY
(wryly) Thanks, Pugsley. You’re so helpful!
BUSTER
Yeah, thanks, Pug.
PUGSLEY
Don’t call me, Pug! I told you before! (Pause) By the way, you haven’t hurt those two in the cargo hold, have you?
BUSTER
Na, they’re clean as daises. Safe as pie. No harm came to them.
SNOWY
(scoffs) Not much. Besides why think of them when they’re locked up? No worries on that score!
SCENE #30 – INT – NYSSA AND BILLY’S CABIN, S.S. MAJESTY – NIGHT
However, Nyssa and Billy with the Doctor have returned to their cabin. They shut the door once inside, relieved to have escaped from the cargo hold. The Doctor checks out through the blinds in the window.
BILLY
Well? How are we?
DOCTOR
(reassuringly) No sign of anyone. Not in this windows. We weren’t followed. We can relax.
NYSSA
(relieved) Oh, that’s relief. I felt awkward about hiding behind boats and corridors as if we were escaped convicts.
BILLY
We are, aren’t we? From those creeps who caught us!
NYSSA
I feel thirsty. And worn out.
BILLY
Hang on, dear. I’ll get you a drink. Some apple juice should cool your nerves, I think. It’s the closest thing to brandy.
NYSSA
Thank you, Billy. Apple juice will do fine, thanks.
BILLY
Doctor? Drink?
DOCTOR
Err, nothing for me, thank you, Billy. Just checking to see the coast is clear out of the window.
Billy goes over to the drinks table and pours out a bottle of apple juice into some glasses.
BILLY
I need one as well as you do, Nyssa. I never felt so stressed out in all my life.
NYSSA
Doctor, are you going to tell us what all this about? What have you been doing anyway?
DOCTOR
I haven’t done anything, Nyssa. Curiosity got the better of me.
BILLY
Curiosity?
DOCTOR
Yes.
BILLY
Here’s your drink, Nyssa.
NYSSA
Oh thank you, dear.
Billy hands over Nyssa her drink, and sits down beside her on the sofa whilst he takes a drink of apple juice himself.
NYSSA
Alright, Doctor. Take your time. Tell us what’s happened.
DOCTOR
(gradually) Well, I was just exploring minding my own business hoping to find something to do in terms of sport. Cricket, preferably. I had found an interest in golf, but somehow that didn’t seem to do it justice for me…
BILLY
Doctor, please. No dilly-dallying. Just get to the point.
DOCTOR
Ah, right. Well, to cut a long story short, I just happened to spot someone who looked just like me.
NYSSA
(shocked) You? Someone who looked just like you, Doctor?
DOCTOR
Yes! Except he wasn’t ‘me’ at all. He was someone dressed up in a first officer’s uniform. The first officer I presumed at first. But as I said, my curiosity got the better of me.
BILLY
So, what happened then? What did you do?
DOCTOR
Well, I followed him to see where he would go. I then found out he was doing some dirty dealings with some friends of his on this ship. Don’t ask me how I found out, I just did. That’s all you need to know.
NYSSA
So, you followed him to see what he was doing knowing he was involved in a crime?
DOCTOR
Yes. I had the fear you see he might be some future version of me. Someone involved in an event that could result in catastrophic disasters. I had to be sure!
BILLY
But should you have followed him, Doctor? If he was a future ‘you’. You said you should cross your own timeline…
DOCTOR
(interrupts) But he wasn’t ‘me’, you see. He had an American accent. Even I can account for the fact he was a doppelganger.
NYSSA
Maybe he put that accent on purposefully. Since he knew you would be following him…
DOCTOR
And he had a deep scar on the side of his forehead.
BILLY
Ah. Yes. Well…that’s put a different complexion on things.
NYSSA
Yes, it would. I see now.
DOCTOR
Eventually one thing led to another, I discovered him in his cabin and overheard he had in mind to send some people of his to sort us out.
NYSSA
Sort us out?
DOCTOR
Apparently, you two were a threat. To some big operation they were planning.
BILLY
What operation was that?
DOCTOR
I don’t know. I didn’t get a chance to hear more until this chap and his party parted company in the corridor. I was standing out of view, you see.
NYSSA
It’s alright. The point is you rescued us. That is what happened next, wasn’t it?
DOCTOR
Yes! Yes, it was Nyssa. I had trouble finding you. I thought you might have been in the dining area or either dancing. But people said you and Billy had gone out.
BILLY
That must have been when we were kidnapped. And locked in that cargo hold of this ship.
NYSSA
Do you have any idea of what this operation is or what’s going to happen?
DOCTOR
Only that it starts tomorrow morning. I didn’t get much, that’s all I know. I only heard the end bit of their conversation just as I came across them.
NYSSA
I see. You have in mind to stop them, don’t you?
DOCTOR
How can I know how to stop them when I don’t even know what it is they’re up to?
NYSSA
But you do intend to stop them anyway.
BILLY
Why should he, Nyssa? It’s just some small heist. It shouldn’t concern us.
NYSSA
Because our lives were at risk because of that. And the Doctor didn’t just rescue for the sake of it knowing that we were in danger because of this operation.
BILLY
Ah, fair point.
DOCTOR
I suggest we wait here and stay put in this cabin until dawn breaks. Then we go and see the captain and tell him everything that’s happened. Might be a little mad about us barging in on his bridge, but that’s what we should do.
NYSSA
It’s a good idea, Doctor. I’m happy to go along with it.
BILLY
So am I.
DOCTOR
Good. Glad you two think so.
BILLY
It’s such a shame we can’t enjoy this cruise any longer.
NYSSA
(disgruntled) I know. I was so looking forward to dancing with you tonight, Billy. Out on the dance floor with everybody singing and music.
DOCTOR
Yes, sorry I’ve had to spoil your honeymoon, you two. But we have to wait until tomorrow morning to find out more.
BILLY
Well, I suppose we better settle down for the night. (realises) Oh, but you haven’t got a bed, Doctor. The only bed we got is ours.
DOCTOR
It’s alright, Billy. I’ll sleep on the couch if I have to. Besides, I rarely need sleep. Time Lords can keep awake for hours. I’ll be here on guard.
NYSSA
Come on, Billy. Let’s go and get some rest and sleep. We’re going to sleep plenty of it before tomorrow comes.
BILLY
Not exactly what I had in mind for a romantic first night.
Nyssa and Billy get up and get ready for bed, whilst the Doctor remains in the living room.
SCENE #31 – EXT – S.S. MAJESTY, PACIFIC OCEAN – DAY, MORNING
Next morning, dawn breaks and the S.S. Majesty sails in the heart of the Pacific Ocean. It is a clear bright morning, as the cruise ship sails its way.
SCENE #32 – INT – BEDROOM, NYSSA AND BILLY’S CABIN – DAY, MORNING
Inside, Nyssa and Billy have been sleeping in their bedroom in their cabin. They slowly wake up as the dawn breaks in.
NYSSA
(groans; sleepily) Billy?
BILLY
(sleepily) Nyssa?
NYSSA
It’s daybreak. Morning has come.
BILLY
Hmm. So it has. Does this mean we have to get up?
NYSSA
The Doctor will expect us for breakfast.
BILLY
Hmm. (Pause) Let’s just…Lay this one out before we get up. I’m not ready. I still feel sleepy and dreamy.
NYSSA
So do I. (Pause) May I…lay my head on you?
BILLY
Yeah. ‘Course you can. I’d like nothing better.
NYSSA
Thanks.
Nyssa lays her head on Billy’s chest as she cuddles up to him. Billy kisses Nyssa on the forehead as he embraces her in a cuddle. They slowly come round whilst the morning daybreak begins.
BILLY
(happily) I like this.
NYSSA
Pardon?
BILLY
(happily) Spending time like this. Lying in bed and spending time together whilst the morning starts. It’s probably the only bit of peace we’re ever going to get.
NYSSA
Yes. I know. It’s a shame really, isn’t it? Having to sacrifice our honeymoon for some mild dispute happening on the ship. By people who intend to threaten our lives.
BILLY
(concerned) You didn’t have any bad dreams last night, did you?
NYSSA
I think your singing a lullaby helped me to think sweet thoughts.
BILLY
(puzzled) Did I singing a lullaby?
NYSSA
You did.
BILLY
Oh. I must have been asleep when I did that.
Nyssa giggles as does Billy, as they happily canoodle romantically while in bed.
BILLY
I’m wondering if marriage will always be like this. When we have people constantly threatening our lives all the time.
NYSSA
It probably will be. The longer we travel with the Doctor, the more danger it attracts. I’m hoping we can salvage some of the honeymoon of ours.
BILLY
Yes. I should have thought of a nice quiet weekend away somewhere. In the countryside where no danger will hunt us.
NYSSA
Do you think we’d get away from danger if we did that?
BILLY
Don’t know. Only if the Doctor wasn’t around. What’s your probability theory?
NYSSA
With the Doctor, highly likely to be danger.
BILLY
And without him?
NYSSA
(thinks) Indeterminate. Not sure.
BILLY
(gradually) Oh, we’re fussing and worrying. It’s not the Doctor’s fault who brings us trouble. It’s just the way he is. (Pause) I hope we can settle down in that nice house we talked about after all this.
NYSSA
Oh, I hope so too. I’m looking forward to our married life together.
BILLY
Really?
NYSSA
Yes. I’d like to try and do some gardening. The last time we stayed in that house in Swansea, the gardens in the front and back were dismal. I hope in the summer time to make my own improvements and arrangements.
BILLY
(apprehensively) Well, you attend to that matter, dear. Count me out. I’d rather not get involved. I’m good with a camera but not with gardening tools.
NYSSA
Oh, I’d think you’d rather enjoy it. It’s hard work, but it’s very invigorating.
BILLY
Really?
NYSSA
Besides, I’ll need someone to mow the lawn from time to time.
BILLY
You’re not serious?
NYSSA
You’re married to me now, Billy. Remember that.
BILLY
Yeah. What have I let myself in for?
NYSSA
Now that’s not very nice.
Both Nyssa and Billy giggle and laugh together, until the Doctor bursts in through the door.
DOCTOR
Nyssa, Billy! (realises) Oh sorry, you two. Didn’t realise you were still in bed. Hope I didn’t startle you coming in unannounced?
BILLY
(ruefully) Morning, Doctor.
NYSSA
Good morning, Doctor.
DOCTOR
Good morning to you both! Breakfast is ready. I made it myself. Sorry about the mess in the kitchen. Best to get it while it’s hot. We have got a busy day today. Better have breakfast before we get started as I always say. See you when you’re up and about. Don’t delay!
The Doctor leaves, closing the door behind him.
BILLY
Well, that’s our wake up call. We got to get up.
NYSSA
How sad? Ah well. At least we were able to spend time together like you said. Even if it was so limited.
BILLY
Come on. We might as well get up and join the Doctor for breakfast before getting dressed.
NYSSA
I suppose so.
Nyssa and Billy get up out of bed and get their dressing gowns to go out and see the Doctor for breakfast.
BILLY
Say, Nyssa? Do you think we’re going to brave through this. This adventure we’re about to have on our honeymoon?
NYSSA
(shrewdly) We’ve had plenty of adventures to face before, Billy dear. Why should this one be any different.
With that, Nyssa and Billy leave their bedroom to join the Doctor.
SCENE #33 – INT – ENGINEERING, LOWER DECKS – DAY, MORNING
Down below in engineering, everything is busy as engineers are running around doing jobs to keep the ship going. In one section of engineering, an engineer walks down a corridor minding his own business. That is until he gets knocked on the head, groans and falls to the floor unconscious. Snowy and Buster creep out of hiding.
SNOWY
Come on, Buster! Drag him in!
BUSTER
Okay, I’m doing it! I’m doing now, right?
Buster and Snowy drag the engineer in their hiding place, taking him out of sight.
BUSTER
That’s one down. What do you except we do now with just one engineer?
SNOWY
Quiet! Here comes another one? We’ll get him as well!
Another engineer walks down the corridor minding his own business, as he whistles a little tune. He soon gets knocked on the head, and falls to the ground groaning before going unconscious. Snowy and Buster drag him in.
BUSTER
(satisfied) Right! Got two of them! We seem to be in business!
SNOWY
We haven’t started yet. Now strip these two’s clothes off so we can put them on!
BUSTER
(groans) Oh no! Not this stunt again!
SNOWY
We gotta pass ourselves as engineers in order to get to the engineering core. Once we stripped these guys, we tie them up! Now come on!
Buster does as Snowy says, as the two strip the engineers’ clothes off.
SCENE #34 – INT – ENGINEERING, LOWER DECKS – DAY, MORNING
A while later, Snowy and Buster are dressed up in engineers’ uniforms. They walk down the corridor, passing many engineers, bluffing their way to reach the heart of engineering.
BUSTER
Seems the disguises are working!
SNOWY
Of course they are, you twit! This was the plan all along. Now we got to make sure we stay this way in order to do what we came to do.
BUSTER
It’s alright for me. But you’re a girl. How can you get so lucky? That’s what’s bothering me?
SNOWY
I can easily pass off as boy engineer being so small, can’t I? Now shut up and let’s get on with it! (Pause) We’re nearly there.
Buster follows Snowy as they both reach the engineering core.
SCENE #35 – INT – ENGINEERING, LOWER DECKS – DAY, MORNING
Eventually, they arrive at the centre of engineering and come across the main engines that are core to the ship. Snowy and Buster observe them before determining knowing what they are dealing with.
BUSTER
Yes, well, all seems self-explanatory to me.
SNOWY
These are the coal stores. Where they keep all their fuel.
BUSTER
These components Pugsley mentioned. Removing the safety value and brake appliance. It must be over here.
SNOWY
Where we’re to get our hands dirty.
BUSTER
It’s not so bad. It’ll be over in a few shakes.
SNOWY
A shake is what I need. A milkshake. Why did I ever agree to this stupidity?
BUSTER
Come on. Let’s try over here.
Snowy and Buster reach the far end of the engineering core and begin to open a panel. Once they’ve opened a panel, they look inside.
BUSTER
Ooh! This must be the things Puggy was talking about. (Pause) There’s the brake appliance. Depend down between these two motor values.
SNOWY
Shall I take it out for you?
BUSTER
(graciously) If you wish.
SNOWY
(shrewdly) Shan’t!
BUSTER
(bitterly) Thanks.
Buster reluctantly puts his hand into the panel and begins to reach for the brake appliance.
SNOWY
Have you got it yet?
BUSTER
Just a minute! This is a pretty delicate job, you know. Oww!
SNOWY
What is it?
BUSTER
You made me lose concentration. I just hit some sharp.
Buster tries again and eventually manages to touch the brake appliance.
BUSTER
Got it!
SNOWY
Can you get it out?
BUSTER
Now wait a minute. (Pause) It’s all bolted up. I’m going to need a screwdriver to unscrew these bolts out.
SNOWY
Oh, that’s tremendous!
BUSTER
Open the bottom panels underneath. I need to have plenty of eye lines before I get on with the job.
SNOWY
Hang on.
Snowy gets on her hands and knees and opens the panels underneath where Buster is. She does so, but reacts in disgust when grease goes on her hands.
SNOWY
Ugh!
BUSTER
What’s the matter?
SNOWY
(moans) My hands are filthy! They’re covered in grease, as a result of opening those panels for you! Thanks a bunch!
BUSTER
You’ll be alright. It’s only a little bit of grease.
SNOWY
(annoyed) It’s got all over my clothes. This engineer’s uniform’s ruined. And it’s not even mine for goodness sake!
BUSTER
Stop whining and give me a screwdriver. And a light. I need to see what I’m doing in amongst all these mechanics and pipes.
SNOWY
Very well. If you’re not going to have any sympathy, I might as well give you the dratted screwdriver and torch.
BUSTER
Come on! Hurry up!
Snowy hurries up, as she eventually gives Buster the screwdriver he needs and has a torch ready for him to see what he’s doing.
BUSTER
Thank you.
Snowy switches the torch on and shines the light for Buster as he gets to work with unscrewing the brake appliance.
BUSTER
Now this may take some time. It’s probably stiff, but I should be able to do it!
SNOWY
(shrewdly) Take all the time you need, pal. We’re supposed to be reaching an island out in the ocean, remember?
Buster ignores her as he sets to work, whilst Snowy shines the torchlight.
SCENE #36 – INT – BRIDGE, S.S. MAJESTY – DAY, MORNING
On the bridge of the S.S. Majesty, the Captain stands on deck and looks out to sea. He watches as the morning goes by with its sunny sunrise.
CAPTAIN TOLER
How goes the night shift, Midshipman?
MIDSHIPMAN
All is well, sir. No incidents during the night. Just plain sailing.
CAPTAIN TOLER
Good, good. Well we should be making for our first port of call in Chicago on the way in two hours. I want this voyage to be plain sailing still till we reach the afternoon, alright?
MIDSHIPMAN
Aye, aye, sir. Understood.
Moment of silence.
CAPTAIN TOLER
It’s the dawn of a new day today. Such a strong sun we’ve got on our backs. And the waves are gently calm, aren’t they, Midshipman?
MIDSHIPMAN
Yes, sir. Very true, sir.
Another moment of silence.
CAPTAIN TOLER
I didn’t catch your name, Midshipman? What is it?
The Midshipman’s about to answer until the Captain interrupts…
CAPTAIN TOLER
Where is that first officer of mine? He should have been on night watch as you were.
MIDSHIPMAN
He was on night watch, sir. He was on the bridge same time as I was.
CAPTAIN TOLER
(agitated) Well, where is he then?
MIDSHIPMAN
He said he…he went off to get some shut-eye before the morning came.
CAPTAIN TOLER
What? Leaving his post like that? He’s a strange sort of fella. Seemed quite promising when I first met him.
MIDSHIPMAN
(reassuringly) He said he was coming back. To join us on the bridge. He especially asked me to tell you that, sir.
CAPTAIN TOLER
Well, ask or no ask, he shouldn’t leave you in charge on your own to keep watch on the night watch. He should know that, shouldn’t he?
MIDSHIPMAN
I don’t mind keeping watch on my own, sir. I’m quite capable of being in control, sir.
CAPTAIN TOLER
I’m sure you are, Midshipman. But it’s my first officer I’m mad about!
MIDSHIPMAN
My apologies, sir.
CAPTAIN TOLER
Oh, as you are, Midshipman. Just be sure this ship stays on its steady course.
MIDSHIPMAN
Yes, sir.
Another moment of silence.
CAPTAIN TOLER
I’m going to leave the bridge. Head for my office.
MIDSHIPMAN
I’ll keep my post with the other men, sir.
CAPTAIN TOLER
Very good, Midshipman. I need to check on a package I’ve kept in my safe. Did I tell you about the package, Midshipman?
MIDSHIPMAN
Package?
CAPTAIN TOLER
No, I haven’t, have I? It’s only my first officer Davies that I told it about to.
The Captain eventually walks off the bridge and makes for his cabin. The Midshipman remains on the bridge with the other men, as he’s now in charge for a little while.
MIDSHIPMAN
Well, thank goodness for a little quiet. That Captain certainly knows how to keep one’s tension levels up.
Moment of silence, as the Midshipman patrols the bridge deck.
MIDSHIPMAN
Steady as she goes. Steady speed, Ensign. No rushing at the controls, pilot.
Suddenly, the Captain re-enters, in a fuming state.
MIDSHIPMAN
(surprised) Oh my! That was quick, sir. Have you lost your way?
CAPTAIN TOLER
(fumes) This is an outrage! An absolute outrage!!!
MIDSHIPMAN
Well, I can get someone to show you the way if you’re lost…
CAPTAIN TOLER
It’s gone, Midshipman! It’s gone!
MIDSHIPMAN
(puzzled) Begging your pardon, sir? But I don’t know what’s…
CAPTAIN TOLER
(angrily) My pearl ring, Midshipman! It’s gone! Someone has stolen my pearl ring! It was in my safe, now it’s gone!
MIDSHIPMAN
Pearl ring?! I thought you said it was a package…
CAPTAIN TOLER
(angrily) It was inside the package, you scumbag! You swab! The pearl ring was inside the package casing! Now it’s gone!
MIDSHIPMAN
Oh, I’m so sorry, sir! Was it expensive?
CAPTAIN TOLER
(angrily) Of course it was expensive, you stupid boy!
MIDSHIPMAN
(reassuringly) Well, don’t worry, sir! I’ll see to you that the whole ship is searched! We’ll find that pearl ring of yours, Captain! We’ll get it back! And bring in the thief who stole it!
CAPTAIN TOLER
No need, Midshipman! No need! I know who it was who stole it!
MIDSHIPMAN
(intrigued) Really, sir? Who was it?
CAPTAIN TOLER
Don’t you see? Don’t you get the picture? I told you before! I told only person about my pearl ring! About where I keep in the safe! One person, I tell you!
MIDSHIPMAN
You don’t mean… Oh, surely not…
CAPTAIN TOLER
(fumes) Yes, I do mean! That upstart of an officer of mine! An upstart who’s not even fit to be an officer of mine! My first officer! That traitor! Mr. Davies! He stole my package of a pearl ring! And I want it back! NOW!!!!
SCENE #37 – INT – ENGINEERING, LOWER DECKS – DAY, MORNING
Back in engineering, Buster manages to unbolt the brake appliance with his screwdriver and takes it out from the panel of mechanics and wires.
BUSTER
There! That should do it! Got ourselves a brake appliance.
SNOWY
(shrewdly) Marvellous! I never doubted you had it in you!
BUSTER
Here! Take this from me whilst I dust off my hands!
Buster passes the appliance to Snowy, to which she reacts in disgust as it’s all covered in grease and dirt.
SNOWY
Ugh! Thanks a lot! Need more grime on my hand, do I?
BUSTER
Hey, look! You’re getting on your hands and knees and taking out the appliance like I was, unscrewing it with a screwdriver!
SNOWY
I’m eternally grateful.
BUSTER
Anyway, we’ve done the hard job. All we need do is to take the safety valve…
ENGINEER #1
(calls) Hey? What do you two think you’re doing?
Snowy and Buster turn, as they see two engineers who’ve spotted them in passing.
SNOWY
What is it to you what we’re doing? We’re busy!
BUSTER
Easy, easy, Snowy! No need to be so shrewd.
ENGINEER #2
(suspiciously) Is that a vital component you got in your hand? Did you just take it out of the engine systems?
BUSTER
Ah! Now, I know how this looks! But we can explain everything.
ENGINEER #1
I don’t think I’ve seen you two before. I don’t remember you. Are you part of the engineering crew? Or are you just…?
SNOWY
Why don’t you two just buzz off and leave us alone?! You’re starting to really irritate me!
BUSTER
(hisses) Snowy! What have I told you?
ENGINEER #2
You’re unauthorised personnel. And it’s clear you’re sabotaging this ship! You should come with us!
SNOWY
You keep your mitts to yourself! I got Buster here and he knows how to pound a man!
BUSTER
I really wish you hadn’t brought me into this!
ENGINEER #1
We need to assess the damage you’ve done! So hand us over that brake appliance you got in your hands!
ENGINEER #2
Yeah! The Captain ain’t gonna be pleased when he finds out you two…
Suddenly, Pugsley enters the room. The engineers turn to him.
ENGINEER #1
Ah, Mr. Davies, first officer! We found these two spies dressed up as engineers!
ENGINEER #2
They were trying to sabotage the ship! We got here just in time to stop them!
ENGINEER #1
We’re about to take them and put them in the brig, if you will allow us…
PUGSLEY
I don’t think so. It’s you two who are interfering.
Pugsley pulls out a gun and the engineers are stunned.
ENGINEER #2
Sir, what are you doing?!
PUGSLEY
Now one false move or else you get it in the back!
ENGINEER #1
But, sir! What’s going on?
PUGSLEY
(angrily) I said, don’t move!
As the Engineer #1 moves off, Pugsley opens fire. Engineer #1 gasps and collapses to the floor dead. Engineer #2 gasps in shock and looks up at Pugsley.
ENGINEER #2
You…you killed him!
Engineer #2 makes to run away.
PUGSLEY
Don’t even think about it!
Pugsley opens fire again, and kills Engineer #2 on the spot as he runs. Engineer #2 falls to the ground dead. Pugsley blows on his gun where the bullets came out of, whilst Snowy and Buster sigh with relief.
PUGSLEY
(satisfied) Piece of cake.
SNOWY
(relieved) Thanks a lot, Pugsley! We thought those engineers would never leave us alone!
BUSTER
(relieved) Yeah! Good of you to come in when you did!
PUGSLEY
Cease your gratitude, you buffoons! Now let’s see what mess you’ve made already.
BUSTER
But we have the brake appliance! Here!
Buster shows Pugsley the brake appliance to which he takes. Pugsley inspects it and seems gradually impressed.
PUGSLEY
Hmm. You unbolted this from the engineering panel. Both of you.
SNOWY
Of course, we did. We’re not idiots like you think.
PUGSLEY
(considers) You’ve done well, the pair of you. Now all you need is to remove the guidance compass as well as the safety valve.
BUSTER
Just what we were about to do before the engineers and you came in here. Now we can carry on where we started.
PUGSLEY
Good, good. After this, I need you two to collect the two stars Miss Garland and Mr. Rooney from their quarters.
SNOWY
Collect them? Already?
PUGSLEY
We’re nearly approaching our destination. The jungle island is within our sights. I shall accompany you two to their cabins once you’ve finished here.
SNOWY
Very well. Just as you say. So long as you’re here with us.
PUGSLEY
The bridge serves no purpose for me now. The Captain is a buffoon as well. He knows no better. (Pause) Well, come on, get on with it! The sooner we collect the components and take them out of the ship, the better I say.
BUSTER
Right you are, skipper. We’re on it, now.
Buster and Snowy make their way back to the engineering controls, whilst Pugsley stands by watching them.
BUSTER
Now here’s the safety valve that we found. Correct?
SNOWY
And this must be the guidance compass you were talking about, Pugsley. I assume it is, since it looks like a compass.
BUSTER
Then let’s get on with it. Like Pugsley said, Snowy! We got an island to get to.
None of the three criminals realise that as they work to getting the components out, one of the engineers (Engineer #2 who ran on the spot and got shot down) has managed to survive. He gasps for breath, as he slowly crawls away without being noticed. He crawls his way out of engineering.
© Tim Bradley, 2025-26
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