4. Walking To Kelton
SCENE #40 – INT – STEAM ENGINE CAB, TRAIN EXPRESS – DAY – AUTUMN 2063
After the mysterious discovery, the Doctor and Nyssa are heard climbing aboard the cab of the steam engine to investigate what’s happened to the train drivers.
NYSSA
(shivers) “Kelton seems to have a different type of atmosphere. It’s much colder here compared to Huttle! Why do I get the fact that’s unusual?”
DOCTOR
“Never mind that Nyssa. What did Mr. Adams say these train drivers’ names were?”
NYSSA
“Mr. Padbury and Mr. Watling, I think. Their first names are Thomas and Percy.”
DOCTOR
“These must be them, then!”
NYSSA
(concerned) “Doctor, look at them”
DOCTOR
“Yes, I know. Both of them hypnotised!”
NYSSA
“They look like they’re in some kind of death-trance! And they’re standing upright!”
DOCTOR
“Almost as if they’re waiting for something.”
NYSSA
“Waiting for what?”
DOCTOR
“I don’t know.”
The Doctor moves forward to communicate with the drivers.
DOCTOR
(calls) “Hello? Mr. Padbury? Mr. Watling? Can you hear me?”
No response. The Doctor then waves his hand in front of their faces and clicks his fingers.
DOCTOR
(calls) “Come on, gentlemen! Please wake up!”
NYSSA
“I hope these men are alright. Just looking at their faces makes me worried. So expressionless.”
DOCTOR
“Well there’s nothing we can do for them now, Nyssa. Not yet anyway.”
NYSSA
“Doctor! Those train jerks might have affected them in some way!”
DOCTOR
“Possibly Nyssa. Possibly. Though I sometimes wonder if there’s something a little more to it than that.”
The Doctor then raises one of the train driver’s arms as he examines the watch on his arm with the diamond glowing and making the whirring sound.
DOCTOR
“Hmm! Interesting.”
NYSSA
“What? Doctor, what is it?”
DOCTOR
“These devices strapped around the wrists of these two gentlemen. With this diamond on each of them flashing on and off like that. There’s something very peculiar about them.”
Nyssa inspects the watch-like devices on one of the driver’s wrist more carefully as her scientific curiosity intrigues her.
NYSSA
(intrigued) “It looks like a neurological synaptic feedback manipulator.”
Billy then calls from outside.
BILLY
(calls) “Doctor! Nyssa! Is everything alright?”
The Doctor and Nyssa make their way out of the steam engine cab in response to Billy’s call.
SCENE #41 – EXT – KELTON STATION – DAY – AUTUMN 2063
The Doctor and Nyssa climb down from the steam engine cab as they meet Billy with Mr. Adams next to him.
ADAMS
“Well Doctor? How is it with those drivers? Have both of them gone mad or something?”
DOCTOR
“Things aren’t really well, Billy.”
BILLY
“Oh.”
DOCTOR
“And what you’re about to hear Mr. Adams is going to be rather disturbing.”
ADAMS
(impatiently) “Don’t keep me in suspense, man. Just tell me what it’s all about!”
NYSSA
“Those men happen to be in a trance Mr. Adams! And they’re standing upright as if they were being controlled!”
BILLY
“Poor fellows!”
ADAMS
“Trance? What sort of trance?”
BILLY
“Are they in any pain at all?”
ADAMS
“Stop talking nonsense, boy! How can men be in pain when in a trance?”
DOCTOR
We don’t know whether they’re in pain, Billy. Trances are always hard to tell when you’re outside the mind. They haven’t collapsed, which means that our mysterious captors could be using them safely and not wishing to harm them. Of course it could mean nothing at any rate.
NYSSA
But it does give a chance to save them.
DOCTOR
(uncertain) Yes. (Pause) Come on! Let’s get back to the station with the other passengers and see if we can formulate some plan and start our way there.
ADAMS
(perturbed) What do you hope on planning, man? Ask for one of the passengers to give the drivers a cup of tea or something?
DOCTOR
Come on! No time to spare!
The Doctor and Nyssa, followed by Billy and Mr. Adams, make their way back to the station.
SCENE #42 – EXT – PLATFORM 3, KELTON STATION – DAY – AUTUMN 2063
The Doctor, Nyssa, Billy and Mr. Adams eventually return to the platform of the station.
DOCTOR
Here we are!
NYSSA
(concerned) Where are the passengers?
BILLY
The last time we saw them they were all standing around the platform waiting looking anxious.
ADAMS
Maybe they decided to go back on the train. Perhaps they were tired of standing around and wanted somewhere to sit to have another cup of tea or even a scone. Wouldn’t mind having one myself as a matter of fact.
BILLY
I’ll have a look inside the carriages.
NYSSA
I’ll help.
We hear Billy and Nyssa walking up to the carriages to check inside for any passengers. Billy reaches one of the carriages as we hear him clamp his hands up on the window to have a look inside.
BILLY
(calls) Hello? Anybody in there?
No response. Nyssa meanwhile walks at the far end of the platform as she arrives at a carriage and looks inside the window to do some searching as well.
NYSSA
(calls) Hello?
Nyssa gets no response either. Billy meanwhile walks over to the next carriage to see if he can find anybody else.
BILLY
(calls) “Hello?”
He walks alongside the carriages to see if there’s any sign of life. But there’s nothing.
BILLY
“There’s nobody in this carriage. What about you Nyssa?”
NYSSA
“No. Nothing. I can’t see any sign of life aboard this train.”
Nyssa and Billy continue their search for a while longer. They almost bump into each other as they come to the end of their search startled. They eventually return to the Doctor and Mr. Adams.
BILLY
“Nyssa’s right. There’s no-one to be found on board.”
ADAMS
“But they can’t just…disappear!”
BILLY
“Who could have taken them I wonder?”
DOCTOR
“Or what’s taken them?”
NYSSA
“You don’t seem surprised, Doctor.”
Moment of silence.
DOCTOR
Mr. Jeffries. Before he died.
ADAMS
What, Doctor? What about Jeffries?
DOCTOR
(thinks) He mentioned something about being in an alliance with someone. Though he didn’t say who or what. He was offered great wealth. That’s why he was unwilling to stop the train and let the passengers out to safety.
ADAMS
Foolish man, Jeffries. I always said he was potty.
DOCTOR
It wouldn’t do him much good, Mr. Adams, if Jeffries ever did get that wealth he was offered. Those creatures killed him in an instant.
ADAMS
(slightly ashamed) Oh. (confused) Oh?
NYSSA
“Why did they kill him Doctor?”
DOCTOR
“I don’t know. It was all sudden when the train jerked that I didn’t get a chance to find out. Jeffries did say he felt redundant when he discussed plans with them.”
NYSSA
“Plans?”
DOCTOR
“It seems that this train journey was all planned for the sake of his unknown allies.”
BILLY
“What are you getting at Doctor?”
DOCTOR
(thinks) “I’m not sure. I’m not entirely sure. I only hope to find out.”
NYSSA
“The question is what do we do now?”
ADAMS
“Well I know what I’m going to do. I’m going to see if I can find Kelton village down the bottom of these hills!”
DOCTOR
“No wait! Mr. Adams!”
ADAMS
“That is if there’s anybody else to find. Unless they too have disappeared as well.”
Adams then walks off.
BILLY
“Let one of us come with you, Mr. Adams.”
ADAMS
“No. You lot stay here. I shall handle this myself. After all. I am the chairman of the village council in Huttle.”
NYSSA
“We’re not in Huttle, Mr. Adams.”
ADAMS
“Then all the more reason to go to Kelton and sort this mess out at once! I’m off…”
Adams walks off while the Doctor calls to him.
DOCTOR
“Adams! Mr. Adams! Come back!”
Adams doesn’t respond as he continues walking off mumbling to himself rather irritably.
ADAMS
“Once I enter that village, I’ll knock down the doors on every shop and see to it that those shopkeepers come out and answer the door to answer my questions about what the heck’s going on here. I shouldn’t be harsh mind…”
DOCTOR
(shouts) “Adams! Are you listening to me…?” (sighs) “Why doesn’t anyone listen to me?”
BILLY
“Is Mr. Adams in trouble then?”
DOCTOR
(frustrated) “I don’t know! That’s why I don’t want anyone walking off in case something bad happens!”
NYSSA
“What are we going to do, Doctor?”
DOCTOR
(thinks) “Well we might as well follow Mr. Adams and head to Kelton to find out what’s going on.” (to Billy) “Billy? Is it a fair way to Kelton from the station?”
BILLY
“Shouldn’t be. It’s only a mile down the bottom of the hill.”
DOCTOR
“Are you willing to join us Billy or stay here?”
BILLY
“Oh I’ll come along with you and Nyssa, if that’s alright.”
DOCTOR
“Of course. Just remember Billy. We may be going to Kelton. But it could be dangerous.”
BILLY
“Seems like I already entered danger when I met you two. Uh…no offence.”
NYSSA
“None taken.”
DOCTOR
“Splendid! Then there’s no time to lose. Anyway, the walk will do us good! Give us the exercise!”
NYSSA
“I suppose it’s safe to walk rather than being on a train.”
DOCTOR
(shocked) “Safe?! Safe?! Nyssa, surely you can’t go off trains just like that?”
NYSSA
“After what we’ve just been through it all seems logical and reasonable to feel that.”
DOCTOR
“But trains aren’t always like that!”
The Doctor, Nyssa and Billy head on the road to Kelton.
SCENE #44 – EXT – ROAD TO KELTON, ENGLISH COUNTRYSIDE – DAY – AUTUMN 2063
Twenty minutes later, the Doctor, Nyssa and Billy are walking on the road to Kelton. The atmosphere seems cold as if it’s about to rain. There is a faint breeze to add to the bitterness of the weather. Billy and Nyssa seem to be tired of walking whilst the Doctor is shooting ahead of them.
NYSSA
“Doctor! We’ve been walking for quite some time.”
BILLY
“Can we stop for a minute?”
DOCTOR
(surprised) “A minute? We’ve only been walking for twenty minutes.”
NYSSA
“It feels longer. Shouldn’t we rest to get our strength back?”
DOCTOR
(sighs) “Oh alright. Have it your own way. We’ll stop for a bit.”
NYSSA
“There’s no need to sulk about it Doctor. We’ll get to Kelton.”
DOCTOR
“I’m so anxious to get to Kelton to find out whatever’s going on here. There’s something odd about all of this. This place and time. I know there is. I just want to confirm my suspicions!”
BILLY
“Look! There’s Kelton up ahead. Looks a bit run down too like the station.”
DOCTOR
“So it is.”
The Doctor, Nyssa and Billy look ahead as they see Kelton before them. They are quiet for a while.
BILLY
“So Doctor? When you said ‘there was something odd about this time and place’, what exactly did you mean by that?”
DOCTOR
“Oh it’s just a feeling I have. You notice how dark the day seems to be. As if it’s going to rain in a moment.”
BILLY
“Yes?”
DOCTOR
“Well when we left Huttle and before we entered the tunnel it was a clear cloudy sky. Didn’t show any signs of rain. It was quaint pleasantness.”
BILLY
“So?”
DOCTOR
“Well it’s the tone of atmosphere that puts me off. The difference to when we left Huttle and how we arrived at Kelton station makes me feel unsure about how the time and place fits in together.”
NYSSA
“Now that’s being very suspicious, Doctor.”
DOCTOR
(challengingly) “Is it?”
BILLY
“I agree with Nyssa. I mean being suspicious about something often leads to downfall. I mean I was suspicious about Mr. Jeffries. I thought he was behind something terrible. As if he was in charge of some master plot. But…I was wrong.”
DOCTOR
“Oh no, Billy. Mr. Jeffries was part of something terrible. It’s just he wasn’t the main villain, or villains.”
BILLY
(puzzled) “Then who are…or who were the main villains?”
DOCTOR
“I don’t know Billy. It’s like a huge jarred jigsaw puzzle to me with too many pieces to put together.”
Whilst Billy and the Doctor are talking, Nyssa is distracted as she seems to be in some kind of pain.
BILLY
(concerned) “Hey Nyssa? Are you alright?”
DOCTOR
“Nyssa? What’s wrong?”
NYSSA
(in pain) “My head! It’s throbbing.” (calms down) “It’s alright. I…I was feeling…”
DOCTOR
“Yes Nyssa? What were you feeling?”
NYSSA
“I was feeling…another presence.”
BILLY
“What…is someone here? With us? Is it Mr. Adams?”
NYSSA
(thinks) “I’m not sure. It’s fading away. But it seemed so close a moment ago.”
BILLY
(puzzled) “Is she going to be alright, Doctor?”
DOCTOR
“Don’t worry Billy. Nyssa’s had these premonitions before. She’ll get over them.”
BILLY
“Premonitions?”
DOCTOR
“Come to think of it, where is Mr. Adams? We haven’t seen him ahead on our journey to Kelton.”
BILLY
“He must have fast legs to get to Kelton.”
DOCTOR
“Yes he must have.” (Pause) “There’s certainly something not right about everything here. I can feel it.”
BILLY
“You’ve got me there Doctor. I can’t quite understand myself what’s going on.”
DOCTOR
“Well that’s me. I always seem to have that affect in any part of the universe. (to himself) “Never really intend to. Just happens whenever I go anywhere. Has become a little disturbing at times for me.”
BILLY
“Doctor!”
DOCTOR
“When we get to Kelton I hope to have a cup of tea to wash away these concerns. That is if there are any tea rooms in Kelton.”
BILLY
(raises his voice) “Doctor!”
DOCTOR
“Billy, do they have team rooms at Kelton…?”
BILLY
(shouts) “Doctor!”
DOCTOR
“Hmm?”
BILLY
“Nyssa’s gone!”
DOCTOR
(shocked) “What?”
BILLY
“She’s not here! She was here a minute ago and now she’s gone! Where could she have got to?”
The Doctor and Billy are surprised and shocked as they wonder about Nyssa’s whereabouts.
SCENE #45 – EXT – ENGLISH COUNTRYSIDE – DAY – AUTUMN 2063
Whilst the Doctor and Billy have been talking, Nyssa has quietly wandered through some grassy plains far away from the Doctor and Billy. She seems to be looking for something as she still senses something peculiar and tries to ease the pain in her head.
NYSSA
(disorientated) “My head.”
She keeps on walking forward as she continues her search for something.
NYSSA
(calls) “Hello! Is there anybody here? I’m not here to hurt anyone.”
She gets no answer as she keeps on in her search. Everything becomes quiet for a while as Nyssa walks on.
NYSSA
(slightly annoyed) “Why is it I get these premonitions about certain things? The Xeraphin, the Permian creatures, the Dar Traders, the Ruhk.”
Nyssa carries on walking as she continues to search for whoever it is she’s looking for. A while later, she stops walking as she spots something on the ground.
NYSSA
“Hang on? What’s this?”
Nyssa picks something up from the ground. She examines the item she’s picked up as we hear a jingling metallic sound that seems rugged and jarred. She examines it for quite a while.
NYSSA
“Hmm!” (Pause) “Very peculiar. This looks like some sort of medallion. Bronze plated. With gold and silver sides all over and a chain attached to it! I wonder what this writing means.”
She keeps examining the item for a little while longer as the chain jangles whilst she holds it.
NYSSA
“I better keep it in my pocket and show it to the Doctor later.”
Nyssa slips the item into her pocket, which takes a while as she places the medallion first into her pocket and slips the chain connected to it afterwards. Once she’s placed the item in her pocket, she carries walking on.
NYSSA
(calls) “Hello! Anyone here! Hello!”
As Nyssa carries on searching, a few miles away from her the faint sound of growling is heard. It seems as if an animal of some kind is watching Nyssa. The animal’s growling is faint at first, but then starts to grow louder as if it was sounding angry. The animal’s growl is unlike any growl heard from any animal. Almost sounds like a dog’s growl added on by the growl of a bear and the hiss of a lizard. The creature moves forward as it makes to follow Nyssa.
SCENE #46 – EXT – ROAD TO KELTON, ENGLISH COUNTRYSIDE – DAY – AUTUMN 2063
Meanwhile, the Doctor and Billy are heard walking around on the main road trying to find Nyssa who doesn’t seem to be anywhere.
BILLY
(calls) “Nyssa!” (Pause) “Nyssa!”
Billy receives no response. He sighs worried, as he walks back to where the Doctor is who is also on the lookout for her.
DOCTOR
“Anything?”
BILLY
“No! She doesn’t seem to be about anywhere! You?”
DOCTOR
“No. I can’t find her. Fine time for Nyssa to go gallivanting off like that!”
BILLY
(panics) “Where could she have gone to? Oh I hope she’s alright!”
DOCTOR
(reassuringly) “Now, now Billy. Don’t get so worked up! I’m sure Nyssa will be alright. She can’t have gone far!”
BILLY
“Well I hope not.”
DOCTOR
“Let’s keep on searching for Nyssa and hopefully she’ll turn up.”
BILLY
“Yes Doctor.”
Billy and the Doctor go about their separate ways as they continue to search for Nyssa.
DOCTOR
(calls) “Nyssa? Nyssa where are you?”
Billy meanwhile stops in his track as he steps on something which clinks on the floor. He bends down to pick it up and observes it more closely.
BILLY
(calls) “Doctor? Doctor, come and have a look at this!”
The Doctor runs up to Billy as he comes to see what he’s found.
DOCTOR
“What is it Billy?”
BILLY
“Look at this.” (Pause) “Somebody seems to have dropped a shilling on the paved road. Though I’ve never seen a shilling like this before.”
The Doctor takes the coin from Billy and looks at it himself. He becomes quiet for a moment.
DOCTOR
“This isn’t a shilling, Billy. This is a one pound coin.”
BILLY
(surprised) “What? A one pound coin? That’s absurd. A number of pounds come only in notes. Not coins.”
DOCTOR
“Oh I’m afraid this is a one pound coin Billy. At this moment of time; shillings, tuppences and half crowns have gone out of date. We’re not when we supposed be?””
BILLY
(puzzled) “What do you mean by that?”
DOCTOR
“Look at this coin, Billy. You see that it’s of an unusual design. Unlike the usual shilling coin you’re accustomed to.”
BILLY
“Yes. It’s looks jagged and has sharp edges to it.”
DOCTOR
“And can you see the date on the coin?”
BILLY
(looks) “Um. Yes, it’s two thousand…” (realises; surprised) “…two thousand and sixty three!”
DOCTOR
“Yes.”
BILLY
(gradually) “Do you mean to say that…we’re no longer in 1963?”
DOCTOR
“Yes.”
BILLY
“And we’re now in…2063?”
DOCTOR
“Precisely!”
BILLY
(gradually) “That’s incredible!”
DOCTOR
“It is, isn’t it?”
SCENE #47 – EXT – ENGLISH COUNTRYSIDE – DAY – AUTUMN 2063
While Billy and the Doctor contemplate about the year that they’re just in, Nyssa meanwhile is still on the search for something she is sensing.
NYSSA
“Hello? Is anyone there?”
Suddenly a loud beeping is heard and Nyssa becomes startled.
NYSSA
“What was that?”
She then takes out the item she’s being carrying in her pocket. The beeping apparently is coming from this device. Nyssa observes the device carefully as it carries on beeping.
NYSSA
“This medallion! There’s a red bulb on the back! It’s glowing! But why is it beeping all of a…?”
As Nyssa ponders on this mystery, she then hears a faint growling from behind her. She turns round to see the creature that has been following her. She gives a nervous yelp as she sees the creature. The creature growls slowly as it approaches Nyssa. It is then heard whining like some lost puppy. Nyssa starts to show concern towards this strange being as she steps closer to it.
NYSSA
(concerned) “Are…are you alright?”
The creature whines a bit whilst Nyssa steps up to it.
NYSSA
(concerned) “Who are you?”
The creature whines for a while longer. The beeping from the medallion grows louder. Suddenly the monster roars out loud as it then leaps up at Nyssa. Nyssa falls back on the ground and lets out a startled cry. The monster, still growling, moves forward as it’s about to make an attack on Nyssa.
Sting music. Roll original 1982 Peter Davison end credits.
© Tim Bradley, 2016
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Hi Tim
My goodness, you’ve got me intrigued with this story! I’ve been reading it over the last few days, and couldn’t wait to see what was going to happen next.
I’m really impressed with this, Tim. The story is really ambitious, but I think you’ve really got a great narrative going. The characters are varied and interesting, the story is complex and really intriguing, and it’s very well-paced. Scenes of good length, good variety, and good dialogue. The scenes on the train, and the villages themselves have been really well brought to life, and I’ve felt like I can really ‘see’ what’s happening as the story unfolds.
I think you’ve captured the Fifth Doctor and Nyssa really well at this stage of their travels, and I like the other characters – Mr Adams is going to get himself in trouble, I feel sure!
Really liking this story, Tim, and I’ve really enjoyed reading to the end of Part One. I do hope you’ll let me know when Part Two comes out, I shall be waiting to read on!
Great stuff, Tim.
Leigh
Hi Leigh.
Many thanks for your kind comments. Very pleased you enjoyed ‘Part One’ of ‘The Railway of Time’. Your feedback means a lot to me.
I’m pleased you think I’ve got a good narrative here. It was the first ‘Doctor Who’ story I wrote and it was quite daunting, but I enjoyed having a go and exploring the Fifth Doctor and Nyssa as well as writing a romp of adventure with a steam train travelling through time.
I’m glad you like the characters in this episode and that you like the dialogue; the scene lengths and how the pace of the story goes. I’m pleased the train and the village scenes brought the story to life for you.
Glad you like how I wrote the Fifth Doctor and Nyssa in this episode. I had listened to a fair amount of Big Finish audios with the two of them together by then.
Were you surprised by what happened to Jeffries in ‘Part One’? Who do you think the real villain is then? You have to wait and find out what happens to Adams in the next episode.
I hope to upload the rest of ‘The Railway of Time’ soon. Hopefully ‘Part Two’ will be available for reading tomorrow. Stay tuned.
Many thanks, Leigh. Love your comments and feedback. I’m glad you’re enjoying my ‘Doctor Who’ story.
P.S. Kelton is now a village, not a ‘town’. Revisiting this story made me realise that Kelton’s not a town, so I’ve corrected this in this chapter and for ‘Part Two’.
Tim. 🙂
Hi Tim
I certainly did like reading it all. I was thoroughly engrossed in the whole story, and I liked all the detail you’d put in; the Doctor and Nyssa playing cards, the Doctor being so enthusiastic about the trains and teaching Nyssa about it, and all the atmosphere that you’d placed in the story; all excellent stuff.
I was surprised that Mr Jeffries was dealt to so severely, and in the first Part of the story. I thought he would be the one who would leave the clues that the Doctor would be able to follow to find out what’s going on, but now it’s much harder for the Doctor to be able to work it out, which is excellent. Mr Jeffries reminded me of one of those civil servants that used to appear in the Third Doctor stories; greedy and silly, and blinded by his greed; someone the Doctor would not care for.
I can’t imagine who the real villain is yet; I’m thinking there are a few more dead ends for the Doctor to have to follow before he can find out who is behind it all. The suspense is great!
I’m really looking forward to reading Part Two, and finding out what’s going to happen next. I really admire what you’ve done here, Tim, it must have been hugely daunting to tackle such a big writing project like this, and I think you’ve done it tremendously well.
Leigh
Wow! You certainly are reading this story. I’m amazed with how much you remember from what I wrote in this first episode. Glad you like my ‘snap’ card game scene with the Doctor at the beginning and the Doctor being enthusiastic about trains. Some of the references between the Doctor and Nyssa were taken from ‘Black Orchid’ in case you didn’t know. 😀
My intention for Jeffries was to make him the most likeliest candidate as the villain of this story, that when you get to the end of ‘Part One’ you realise he was actually a pawn and a victim of the bigger picture. It’s to fool the audience that Jeffries is the villain before he’s quickly dealt with severely.
Interesting thoughts you’ve made about Jeffries reminding you of the civil servant characters from the Jon Pertwee stories. That never occurred to me whilst I wrote him, but thinking about it it certainly fits, doesn’t it? I didn’t know I had in me to write characters like that from the Jon Pertwee era into a Peter Davison Doctor story. 😀 I wanted to make Jeffries seemingly posh and feeling so superior that he was going his reward at the end with these ‘allies’ he’s working with. Of course it all turns sour for him.
You have to wait and see for the villain is by the time you get to ‘Part Three’. I wonder if you’ll keep guessing who the villain is when you’re reading ‘Part Two’.
Thanks for your very kind comments and feedback on my story. I’m looking forward to what you think of ‘Part Two’ (which will be posted tomorrow).
It was very daunting indeed to write this as my first ‘Doctor Who’ story with the Five and Nyssa. But it was enjoyable to write and a happy experience for me back in 2010.
Thanks Leigh. Tim. 🙂
Thanks, Tim. I got the definite ‘feel’ of the good relationship between the Doctor and Nyssa throughout. I hadn’t picked up on the ‘Black Orchid’ references; very well done, though, as that was a good point in time for their relationship; strong, and still growing as friends.
I liked that you built Jeffries up, and then knocked him down to show that there was something/someone behind him who was part of a much bigger picture; it’s the slow unfolding of the story layers that we follow the Doctor through, which really builds the suspense very well. I really did feel that Jeffries reminded me of one of the Third Doctor era civil servants; so caught up in his own aims that he fails to see what he’s become, or what he’s a part of.
I’m very much looking forward to Part Two, Tim, and I’m very glad that you took the brave step to put this out there for us to read. It’s proving very enjoyable.
Leigh
Many thanks Leigh.
I don’t know if I’ll be posting every ‘Doctor Who’ story with the Fifth Doctor and Nyssa, but certainly for the next few months I’ll upload the first three stories I wrote back in 2010. Glad you’re enjoying this one at the moment. There’s more to come.
Tim. 🙂
“Big Finish employ Mr Tim Bradley & adapt this into a audio NOW”
This has to be one of the most engrossing page turning Doctor Who stories I’ve read & I’ve read every NA, MA & BBC novel.
The depth of characterization combined with a gripping storyline has me gripped like superglue.
Thanks Timelord Simon. Greatly appreciate your confidence in my ‘Doctor Who’ writing. Very pleased you’re enjoying my ‘Doctor Who’ story at the moment. Thanks for your kind comments.
Glad you like the characters and find the story gripping to read. Tim. 🙂
This is a very intriguing first episode with the misdirection over Jeffries, the mind-controlled drivers, the slip into another time, the animal and the various bits of hardware! Looking forward to finding out what happens next…
Your Doctor really does feel very Fifth Doctorish to me. I particularly liked his “Why doesn’t anyone listen to me?” (the story of his life, right?) and “Fine time for Nyssa to go gallivanting off like that!” which I can just imagine him saying in his politely exasperated tones! I don’t remember him ever saying “gallivanting” (I’m familiar with him mainly from the TV episodes and some audios, but haven’t read all the “books and stuff” so he may well have said it in some story I’ve not come across yet) but it’s precisely the sort of word that I can imagine him using.
Hi Vicky.
Very pleased you enjoyed ‘Part One’ of ‘The Railway of Time’.
Glad you enjoyed the misdirection over Jeffries, the mind-controlled drivers, the train slipping into another time zone, the strange animal at the end and the pieces of hardware used. I’m sure there’ll be more surprises for you as you read on in the story.
I’m very pleased you like how I’ve written the Fifth Doctor and glad you enjoyed the lines I’ve given him in the story. Yeah I can just hear Peter Davison saying those lines like “Why doesn’t anyone listen to me?” and ‘Fine time for Nyssa to go gallivanting off like that!” I’m sure I’ve heard Peter’s Doctor say ‘gallivanting’ in one of the Big Finish audios, but I can’t remember which one. I’m glad you find it’s a word you imagine Peter’s Doctor using and that he can say these lines in politely exasperated tones. I hope Peter Davison would approve of these lines given to him for his Doctor in these stories by me if they were ever made for Big Finish.
Tim. 🙂
I have a love-hate relationship with fanfiction. I love writing it and (mostly) hate reading it. However, having taken shameless advantage of your timelines for my own nefarious purposes and having really enjoyed your Reviews and sharing some of my own thoughts, I was really curious about your original story, especially when I realised it was written as a transcript, which is something I don’t think I’ve seen before.
And I’ve really enjoyed it.
I found it ran very naturally and smoothly; the usual fanfiction flaws are missing, so it feels like a professional transcript. (And I’ve written enough of those from the Radio Plays myself that I’ve got pretty used to how the lines on the page translate). The characterisation is really solid – I can imagine the actors using this script, saying these words
The pace runs nicely, too, which I imagine was hard to achieve in this format. Enough is going on to be interesting and exciting, but it’s not overdone, so I’m not confused as to what’s going on. It finds a great balance and I’m looking forward to getting on to Episode Two.
Aye,
Helen
Hi Helen.
Glad you enjoyed ‘Part One’ of ‘The Railway of Time’. Glad you found the characterisation solid and that the pace ran nicely for you. I enjoyed writing my first ‘Doctor Who’ story with the Fifth Doctor and Nyssa and introducing Billy Walker. I hope you’ll enjoy reading ‘Part Two’ next. Glad you found enough to be interesting and exciting in the story and that things aren’t confusing for you so far.
Many thanks,
Tim. 🙂