Hello everyone! 🙂

Welcome to ‘Bradley’s Basement’ blog and I’m Tim Bradley!

It’s Day 10 of ‘Bradley’s Basement’s Advent Calendar 2021.

Let’s continue ‘The Two Twits’ segment of ‘The Lord of the Rings: Comedy Version’ as we venture into Chapter 10 of the epic story turned silly by me and my best mate Stephen from long ago! 🙂

Enjoy!

Check out what Day 10 of my ‘Bradley’s Basement’s Advent Calendars for 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019 and 2020 were about!

Tim. 🙂

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Chapter 10
Chasing the Uruk-Hai and Toilet Trouble

In the land of Rohan, Gimli tries to catch up to Aragorn and Legolas as they pursue the Uruk-Hai who have taken Merry and Pippin captive. He stops running for a moment.

GIMLI: (huffs) Three days and nights pursuit! No food; no rest; no hunt for orc; nothing! (Pause) And I don’t believe it! No toilet! I CAN’T BELIEVE I’VE WET MY PANTS FOR THE SECOND TIME!!!

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After running across the plains of Rohan for a while, Aragorn and Legolas manage to find an elven brooch on the ground. They continue running, whilst Gimli stumbles from behind some rocks and rolls to the ground.

LEGOLAS: Come on, Gimli! We’re gaining on them!

GIMLI: (pants) I’m wasted on cross-country! AND I’VE WET MY PANTS AGAIN!!!

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The three hunters soon climb up a hill.

ARAGORN: Up the hill! Come on!

Aragon struggles up the hill as he climbs. Legolas is able to walk up perfectly up the hill. He looks down at Gimli.

LEGOLAS: Come on, Gimli!

Gimli huffs and puffs, and keeps on slipping and sliding back down the hill again and again as he tries to climb up the hill.

Eventually, Aragorn and Legolas reach the top of the hill and look across the plains below.

ARAGORN: Legolas! Do you know where we are?

LEGOLAS: We’re in Rohan.

ARAGORN: Yeah!

Gimli manages to get up on top of the hill.

GIMLI: (huffs) Where are we? Are we in…um…Mordor yet?

LEGOLAS: No, we’re in Rohan!

ARAGORN: Anyway, we’re not going to Mordor, you…Watch out! Watch out!

Gimli slips and falls back down the hill again, out of sight, crying out loud as he does so.

ARAGORN: (continues) We’re trying to find Merry and Pippin. If we know where they are.

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ARAGORN: Do you know where they are, Legolas? Have you got any ideas?

Gimli is about head up on top of the hill as he climbs back up.

GIMLI: How can I see? I can’t see a thing…

ARAGORN: No, not you, Gimli. I mean him! Legolas! And get up!

Aragorn helps Gimli to his feet up on the hill.

LEGOLAS: And don’t call me a ‘him’! I don’t like that. (focuses) Let me have a look.

Legolas looks ahead and sees the horizon.

LEGOLAS: I can’t see very well. Where are my glasses?

Legolas takes out his glasses and puts them on.

GIMLI: I didn’t know you wore glasses.

LEGOLAS: Only when necessary.

Legolas continues to look out on the horizon with his glasses on.

LEGOLAS: Now…err…they’re taking them in for a cup of tea with the Bucket woman…as well as one of her candlelight suppers…dressed them up… (realises) I think they’re taking the hobbits to Isengard!

ARAGORN: (shocked) Isengard?!

GIMLI: Isengard?

LEGOLAS: Isengard.

ARAGORN: (realises) Saruman! Oh no!

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And how could I not include this in the advent calendar post for today!

Enjoy! 😀