Chapter 2
SCENE #15 – INT – CORRIDOR, S.S. MAJESTY – DAY, AFTERNOON
On his way to the bridge, Captain Toler is joined by Pugsley.
CAPTAIN TOLER
How long have you been a sea-faring man, Davies?
PUGSLEY
Long enough, sir. About ten years’ active service.
CAPTAIN TOLER
Really? What was your first commission?
PUGSLEY
The S.S. Harbour. Was a midshipman for two years before I became a lieutenant.
CAPTAIN TOLER
Interesting. They said they’d send a first-class first officer that’s Majesty material. I hope you can meet my expectations, Davies.
PUGSLEY
Without a doubt, sir. I’m very reliable.
CAPTAIN TOLER
Well, it’s early days. I’m sure we’ll see things eye to eye as time goes on.
PUGSLEY
Yes, sir. I hope so.
CAPTAIN TOLER
I take it the safe is securely locked with the package inside?
PUGSLEY
As per your instructions, sir.
Just then, they’re interrupted, as Snowy and Buster appear.
BUSTER
(calls) Excuse me! Hey, buddy, over here!
CAPTAIN TOLER
(angrily) What do you two think you’re doing? No passengers in this area! Crew only!
SNOWY
Sorry, Captain, sir. We err…got lost. We’re trying to find our way back to our quarters, but we took a wrong turning.
PUGSLEY
I’ll handle this, sir. I know how to deal with this sort.
CAPTAIN TOLER
(grudgingly) Oh, very well. But no dilly-dallying. I expect you to be on the bridge as soon as possible, Mr. Davies.
PUGSLEY
This won’t take long. I assure you, sir. Excuse me. (to Snowy; Buster) Come this way, you two.
SNOWY
Oh, much appreciated, kind sir.
BUSTER
Yeah, thanks, pal.
Pugsley goes to Snowy and Buster before escorting them out of earshot from the Captain.
SCENE #16 – INT – CORRIDOR, S.S. MAJESTY – DAY, AFTERNOON
Around the corner, Pugsley, Snowy and Buster are in another corridor before they confer with each other.
PUGSLEY
(annoyed) What are you two doing here? I told you to wait for me in my cabin.
SNOWY
This couldn’t wait. We’ve got big problems.
PUGSLEY
(sighs) What problems may they be?
BUSTER
There are two people who look exactly like us! A boy and a girl!
PUGSLEY
Yeah, so?
SNOWY
So? SO?!!! Can’t you grasp the seriousness of the situation? Those two have already met Judy Garland and Mickey Rooney! Big blooper for our grand plans! What are we going to do now? We can’t show ourselves to Judy and Mickey!
PUGSLEY
(considers) What were these two like?
BUSTER
Mild and rather happy. The boy’s like me. A big fan of Judy’s. They’re married, the boy and the girl.
PUGSLEY
(realises) Well, that shouldn’t be a problem then, should it?
SNOWY
Don’t get what you mean.
PUGSLEY
Well, you know a lot about Judy, don’t you, Buster?
BUSTER
A little, but I don’t see…
PUGSLEY
And you two can pass off as a married couple, right?
SNOWY
(realises; protests) Married couple? Now wait a minute…
PUGSLEY
Problem solved! You’ve just gotta act like you’ve met Judy already. Is it likely those two are gonna see Judy and Mickey again?
BUSTER
As a matter of fact, yes. Judy invited them to tonight’s show. In the dining area.
PUGSLEY
That’s where you’ve gotta go to meet Judy and Mickey. Find them and act the part before giving your generous offer to Miss Garland.
SNOWY
What about the other two that look like us? What if they get in the way?
PUGSLEY
That’s your problem, not mine. I expect you to sort them out with your…ingenuity. The big operation is tomorrow. No slacking, get it?
SNOWY
(annoyed) Thanks a bunch! You’re a great help, Pugs.
BUSTER
You seem to be doing well yourself. How are you getting on?
PUGSLEY
The bluff has worked with the Captain. He doesn’t suspect me for a bit. He’s dumb, and I’ve got the real package from his safe. Replaced it with the fake one.
SNOWY
(amazed) You have the package? What we came for?
PUGSLEY
It’s in my jacket pocket. Safe and sound.
BUSTER
What’s in the package, Puggy?
PUGSLEY
(annoyed) None of your business! Come on, you two! Let’s get outta here!
SNOWY
Okay, don’t get on your high horse.
PUGSLEY
And don’t call me Puggy or Pugs, do you hear?
BUSTER
Sorry, Puggy…I mean, Pugsley. We won’t let it happen again.
PUGSLEY
(sighs) I’ve gotta get to the bridge. Don’t bother me ever again unless it’s urgent, okay?
Without waiting for an answer, Pugsley leaves to join the Captain on the ship’s bridge. Meanwhile, Snowy and Buster head off to find Judy Garland. Once they’ve gone, someone comes out of hiding, causing a floorboard to creak.
SCENE #17 – INT – JUDY’S CHANGING ROOM, S.S. MAJESTY – DAY, EVENING
That evening, Judy Garland is in her dressing room, getting ready for tonight’s show. There’s a knock on the door.
JUDY
Come in.
The door opens and Mickey Rooney enters.
MICKEY
Hi, Judy. Mind if I come in?
JUDY
No, of course not. Hi, Mick.
Mickey closes the door behind him. He presents Judy with a bouquet of flowers.
MICKEY
Just a little something to wish you luck for tonight. You’re gonna be swell!
JUDY
(gratified) Oh, thanks, Mick, they’re wonderful! Are they yours?
MICKEY
Well, half’s mine; the other half is from the fans.
JUDY
(laughs) Gee, that’s sweet.
MICKEY
All set for tonight, are we?
JUDY
Yeah, sure. We’re still doing the songs we’ve got arranged for tonight, aren’t we?
MICKEY
Yep! Paul Whiteman’s out in the gallery getting his boys ready. We’ve got a great show tonight! The kids are gonna love it!
JUDY
Not everyone has come to see you and me, Mick. Some have come just for holidaying or touring.
MICKEY
Nonsense! Everyone loves you, Judy! Especially in that great film you did.
JUDY
I seem to be getting a good reaction from being in ‘The Wizard of Oz’ lately.
MICKEY
‘Course you are. I’ll never forget the day you told me you’d won the part of Dorothy. It was after a recording session you did on ‘Broadway Melody of Nineteen Thirty-Three’. I was on my way to meet you, remember?
JUDY
How can I forget? I only just found out I’d got the part not long after my audition. I couldn’t believe it.
MICKEY
I told you you’d be famous, and here we are.
JUDY
(sighs) I’m not sure I’m movie material though. I mean, I’ve done well with ‘Wizard of Oz’, sure, but where’s the rest of my career going to go? If MGM keeps me that is.
MICKEY
You’re gonna be a sensation, Judy. And you’ll be doing some films with me.
JUDY
You think so?
MICKEY
Yeah! We’ve got ourselves lined up for another Andy Hardy film as well as a film with Busby Berkeley next year!
JUDY
Busby Berkeley?
MICKEY
Yeah, something called… Oh, what was it? Err… ‘Strike Up the Band’! Yeah, that’s it!
JUDY
(surprised; realises) ‘Strike Up the Band’? That’s one of the films that boy said I’d be in.
MICKEY
(puzzled) Boy? What boy?
JUDY
You know, that boy we met earlier! In the bar? One of my fans! He said I was in ‘Strike Up the Band’. (puzzled) Or was it his wife who said that?
MICKEY
I shouldn’t worry about those kids. They shouldn’t have bothered you in the first place when you were having your down-time.
JUDY
Actually, I found them kinda nice. That boy seemed very complimentary.
MICKEY
Well, I suppose they would be nice since they’re fans of yours.
JUDY
You’re just jealous because I have more fan attention than you.
MICKEY
(teases) Me jealous? Think nothing of it!
Judy and Mickey laugh.
JUDY
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to finish getting myself ready for the show. Can’t have you chatting to me all evening.
MICKEY
Okay. No skin off my nose.
JUDY
See you backstage.
MICKEY
Yeah, alright. See ya later.
Mickey leaves, opening and closing the door behind him. Meanwhile, Judy sets about changing into her evening clothes.
JUDY
Now, which dress shall I wear? Bright or dark? (Pause) Ah, well. No one’s gonna expect me to look spectacular like Liz Taylor, are they?
SCENE #18 – INT – DINING ROOM, S.S. MAJESTY – DAY, EVENING
Later in the dining room aboard the S.S. Majesty, jazz music is played by Paul Whiteman and his band. Dancers are on the dance floor, dancing to the music. Seated at a table are Nyssa and Billy, as they have a romantic dinner together. They watch Paul Whiteman and his band.
BILLY
Enjoying the evening, dear?
NYSSA
You clearly are, Billy. You seem quite taken with this band.
BILLY
This is my favourite kind of jazz music. I honestly didn’t expect to see Paul Whiteman and his band here.
NYSSA
Seems nobody else expected them either. There was a huge applause when they came in.
BILLY
(concerned) This music isn’t too much for you, is it? Not too energetic?
NYSSA
Actually, I find it rather pleasant. (Pause) Mind you, some of the other jazz music concerts that we’ve been to tend to be rather loud and unorthodox, in my opinion.
BILLY
Yeah, well, those music bands weren’t playing proper jazz music, were they? It didn’t feel nostalgic nor relaxing. It felt hard and churned up. I like jazz music to be pleasant.
NYSSA
I wouldn’t mind dancing. So many people got onto the dance floor before we did.
BILLY
Don’t worry, sweetheart. I’ll sweep you off your feet before you know it!
NYSSA
Not too much, I hope.
Billy laughs.
BILLY
Anyway, I thought you’d like to finish your meal first. You seem to be enjoying it.
NYSSA
And you clearly enjoy the Nineteen-Thirties, don’t you?
BILLY
They’re vintage years! Some of the finest music and nostalgia can be found in this time period. It’s something I look forward to after braving a hard adventure with the Doctor in the TARDIS.
NYSSA
Yes. We don’t suffer so much when we take relaxing holidays as this. (Pause) I’m looking forward to more of these in our marriage.
Nyssa and Billy kiss.
BILLY
Don’t raise your expectations too high, dear. I might not be able to persuade the Doctor so easily in getting us to time periods that you and I would like to go to.
NYSSA
We can always enjoy leisurely getaways in your time period, Billy. (Pause; considers) I don’t mind us being together in the Nineteen-Sixties. Whether it’s far away or close to your parents.
BILLY
(thinks) Yes. (Pause) I suppose you’re not comfortable with the idea of revisiting Traken, are you? Especially after our trip to Riverloth.
NYSSA
Traken is my past, Billy. I’m happy to spend my married life with you, wherever and whenever we are.
Moment of silence.
BILLY
There’s that house we once had in Swansea in Twenty-Thirteen, remember? It’s not much, but I rather liked it.
NYSSA
Me too. I wouldn’t like to sacrifice that home we once had just yet.
BILLY
(teases) I’m pleased you and I share alike minds.
Both giggle before they’re interrupted by a family of onlookers close.
BETSEY
(cheers) That Paul Whiteman is such a genius! I doubt anyone can top him!
ROGER
Betsey, keep your voice down! Others are trying to enjoy the music!
BETSEY
(cheers) But it’s true, Roger! Paul Whiteman and his band are legends! I’d give anything to meet them backstage!
ARTHUR
Betsey, we know how much you’re into your celebrities, but that’s not why we’re here on this cruise, is it?
ALONZO
(interjects; calmly) Alright, alright, kids! Let’s not fight over this. Let’s keep quiet and enjoy the show.
BETSEY
Oh, I’m enjoying the show, Dad! It’s these two that are spoiling it! (excited) Oh, I can’t wait to see Judy and Mickey on stage!
ROGER
(annoyed) Betsey, we get the picture, okay!
BETSEY
(annoyed) Don’t start that again, cheapskate!
ROGER
There’s no need to insult your brother!
Billy quietly confers with Nyssa.
BILLY
(whispers) It seems they’re here for the same purpose as us.
Arthur spots Nyssa and Billy nearby.
ARTHUR
Sorry about this, you two. Our sister here is a bit of a jazz fanatic.
NYSSA
That’s alright. My husband’s the same.
BILLY
(slightly annoyed) No need to broadcast it, Nyssa!
BETSEY
(realises) Oh! You’re both Judy Garland fans too, are you? Swell! My name’s Betsey! Betsey Smith!
NYSSA
Hello, Betsey. I’m Nyssa. This is my husband, Billy.
BILLY
Hi, Betsey!
BETSEY
And these are my brothers! Roger and Arthur.
ROGER
Hello.
ARTHUR
Nice knowing ya.
BETSEY
And our Mom and Dad – Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
NYSSA
Very pleased to meet you all.
ALONZO
I’m Alonzo. This is my wife Anna.
BILLY
Hello, Alonzo. Hello, Anna.
Alonzo looks to Anna, who’s distracted.
ALONZO
(encouragingly) Anna, come on! Say hello to our new friends.
ANNA
(scared) Something terrible is about to happen!
ALONZO
(puzzled) Terrible? What do you mean, my dear?
ANNA
(scared) Something dreadful…on this cruise!
ARTHUR
(concerned) Hey, Mom, are you alright?
ANNA
(scared) Something’s wrong! I can feel it!
SCENE #19 – INT – DINING ROOM, S.S. MAJESTY – DAY, EVENING
Meanwhile, Snowy and Buster enter, but keep to the shadows as they look around.
BUSTER
Well, here we are. There’s that Whiteman guy up there with his band.
SNOWY
No sign of Judy yet.
BUSTER
Ah, but there are two people we know are here already. Look, down there!
SNOWY
(realises) Oh, yeah! Of course! The boy and the girl who look like us!
BUSTER
How are we gonna pounce on them? Get them out of the picture?
SNOWY
(reassuringly) Leave it to me. I know how to handle them. (Pause) Look! Whiteman’s about to make an announcement.
Snowy and Buster quickly sit at a table whilst Paul Whiteman is on stage.
SCENE #20 – INT – DINING ROOM, S.S. MAJESTY – DAY, EVENING
PAUL WHITEMAN
Thank you, folks! Great to be here! Now, it’s time to introduce to you a bright new star! It’s the gal you’ve been waiting for! Here she is! Miss Judy Garland!
Everybody cheers, as Judy Garland comes out on stage.
BETSEY
(cheers) It’s her! She’s here! It’s Judy Garland! Oh, doesn’t she look wonderful?
BILLY
(whispers) Nyssa, we’re seeing Judy for real and on stage as she sings! How amazing is that?
NYSSA
(whispers) Yes, Billy. I know it is.
They watch as Judy curtsies before she sings the song ‘Zing! Went the Strings of My Heart‘.*(Song #2)
The audience applauds once Judy has finished her song.
SCENE #21 – INT – CORRIDOR, S.S. MAJESTY – DAY, EVENING
In a corridor aboard the S.S. Majesty, Pugsley heads for his cabin. He comes across a midshipman who salutes him.
MIDSHIPMAN
Sir!
PUGSLEY
Ah! Midshipman?
MIDSHIPMAN
Yes, sir.
PUGSLEY
Good, good. (Pause) I’m off to rest in my cabin, Midshipman. I wish not to be disturbed. Is that understood?
MIDSHIPMAN
Yes, sir. You’re not to be disturbed, sir.
PUGSLEY
No one is to disturb me without good reason. Unless it’s the Captain, of course. You got that?
MIDSHIPMAN
Understood, sir.
PUGSLEY
(gradually) Very good. Carry on.
With that, Pugsley heads off to enter his cabin. The door opens and closes as he goes in.
MIDSHIPMAN
(muses; to himself) New first officer. Pretty brusque fella.
The Midshipman turns round before he bumps into the Doctor heading into him.
DOCTOR
(apologetically) Oh, pardon me! Didn’t mean to crash into you like that!
MIDSHIPMAN
That’s alright.
DOCTOR
I should have looked where I was going. I seem to be lost.
MIDSHIPMAN
That’s not a problem, sir. I… (realises) Wait a minute! Aren’t you…?
DOCTOR
(interjects) Sorry, got to rush. Bye.
The Doctor excuses himself as he heads off down the corridor. The Midshipman watches him go.
MIDSHIPMAN
(aghast) I… I just can’t… It’s not possible! (Pause) Am I… Am I going mad?
SCENE #22 – INT – DINING ROOM, S.S. MAJESTY – DAY, EVENING
Back in the dining room, everyone is full of delight and applauding after watching Judy perform her song on stage.
BETSEY
(delighted) Isn’t she wonderful? I told you she was wonderful! Wasn’t she wonderful, guys?
ARTHUR
Yes, Betsey. Very wonderful indeed.
ROGER
She is good, I’ll give her that.
With Nyssa and Billy…
BILLY
(happily) You enjoyed that as much as I did, didn’t you, Nyssa?
NYSSA
She has a nice voice. I can see why you like her, Billy.
BILLY
She is amazing! A ‘talented performer’, as Fred Astaire would say.
NYSSA
Fred Astaire?
BILLY
I’ve told you about him, haven’t I?
NYSSA
I don’t remember.
BILLY
(laughs) Oh well, never mind. I’ll remind you who he is later on.
The audience calms down, as Judy is about to speak.
JUDY
Gee, thanks, folks! Great to see you all here! Now will you please give a big round of applause for my very good friend! Yours and mine – Mickey Rooney!
Everybody applauds once more, as Mickey Rooney comes to join Judy on stage.
MICKEY
Thanks, Judy! Gee, you were swell singing that song!
JUDY
Thank you, Mick! Do you remember that song we sang before I did ‘The Wizard of Oz’? You know the one? The song to start the day with being happy.
MICKEY
(recalls) Ah, yes! ‘Good Mornin’! (mock-thinks) But it’s evening, Judy. Not morning!
JUDY
And we’re on our way to midnight. So, we might as well say “Good Mornin'” to everyone before they go to sleep. Otherwise we’ll never say “Good mornin'” as soon as it’s daybreak.
MICKEY
Alright then. (to audience) Well, here’s from us – Judy and me – a very “Good mornin'” to you all!
Everybody applauds and cheers, just as the lights go out. The music begins and the duet between Mickey and Judy commences, as they sing the song ‘Good Mornin’ to everyone.*(Song #3)
During the song, Nyssa and Billy speak quietly to each other.
NYSSA
It feels atmospheric. The way they’ve turned the lights out.
BILLY
This song will be a well-known one by the time ‘Singin’ in the Rain’ comes along.
NYSSA
‘Singin’ in the Rain’?
BILLY
Yes! You like that film, remember? The one with Gene Kelly and Debbie Reynolds. It’s the one about silent movies becoming talkies. It has the girl with the high-pitched voice in it.
NYSSA
(realises) Oh, that film! Yes, I remember it distinctively. So, this song came from Judy and Mickey as we’re witnessing hearing it now.
BILLY
Well, not exactly. ‘Good Mornin’ is a song that’s had many renditions over the years. Same with ‘Singin’ in the Rain’. Judy sang her own rendition of the song before it became popular in the Nineteen-Fifties.
NYSSA
(impressed) You know your films and music well, Billy.
BILLY
I try my best.
NYSSA
These two are also very good together. I can see that clearly.
BILLY
Yes, they are. (Pause) I’m glad you like them as much as me.
Moment of silence.
BILLY
Say, how about you and I do a walk on the deck and watch the night sky? There’s a good full moon out.
NYSSA
(surprised) Oh, I thought you’d want to meet Judy and Mickey halfway during the show.
BILLY
We can say ‘hello’ to them, yes. But I still want to spend some time with you. It’s our romantic honeymoon, remember? (Pause) How about it?
NYSSA
(gradually) Well, I would like to get fresh air. As long as we have our dance at some point in the evening, then…
Suddenly, they’re interrupted, as Buster and Snowy come up behind them.
BUSTER
(menacingly) Alright, you two. Playtime’s over.
BILLY
(puzzled) Sorry, what? Who are you two…?
SNOWY
(interrupts: menacingly) Sorry to do this to you two. But we’ve got a job to do.
NYSSA
(anxiously) What are you…?
Nyssa and Billy gasp and groan, as they get knocked out by Snowy and Buster. Their heads end up on the table.
BUSTER
(whispers) You didn’t drug them severely, did you?
SNOWY
(whispers) Certainly not. Just enough to keep them quiet as we take them out. Now let’s do this whilst nobody’s looking.
Buster and Snowy drag Nyssa and Billy out whilst they’re unconscious. Meanwhile, Judy and Mickey finish their song.*(Song #3)
Everybody applauds and cheers once they’ve finished.
MICKEY
Thank you! Thank you so much, everyone!
JUDY
(cheers) Big hand for Paul Whiteman and his fabulous orchestra!
Everybody applauds and cheers. The applause increases as young people scream their heads off.
BETSEY
(cheers) Oh, that was just great! I can’t believe it! Mickey Rooney and Judy Garland right before our eyes! This is one night I’ll never forget for the rest of my life!
ROGER
Alright, alright, Betsey! Pipe down! Do control yourself!
BETSEY
(groans) Oh, you’re no fun at all Roger! (to Nyssa; Billy) What do you two think? Didn’t you think they were [splendid…?]
Betsey is surprised to see Nyssa and Billy are gone.
BETSEY
(baffled) Hey! That nice couple! Where did they go?
ARTHUR
I don’t know. One minute they were here. The next they weren’t.
Meanwhile, Alonso attends to Anna.
ANNA
(scared) Something terrible is about to happen, I can feel it! It’s all too much for me!
ALONSO
(concerned) What’s the matter, Anna? What are you so worried about?
ANNA
(gradually; scared) Death is coming, Alonso! Death!
SCENE #23 – INT – FIRST OFFICER’S CABIN. S.S. MAJESTY – DAY, EVENING
Meanwhile, Pugsley is in the first officer’s cabin. He sits on the bed and opens the package he picked up. He examines the pearl ring inside and gives a low whistle of awe.
PUGSLEY
(entranced) This is too good to be true. Oh, this will make us rich. How good it is to be working for such a fine boss to get a gem like this.
Moment of silence, as Pugsley continues to be entranced.
PUGSLEY
(snaps out of it; clears his throat) Now if only Snowy and Buster are able to get Judy and Mickey’s attention and consent. (Pause) Oh, but I do like getting the easy job whilst they have the dirty work.
Unaware he’s being watched by the Doctor, there’s a scraping sound as the Time Lord walks away past the door. Pugsley is alerted to the scraping sound.
PUGSLEY
(apprehensively) Huh? What was that? (Pause; shrugs) Hmm. Must have been hearing things.
SCENE #24 – INT – CARGO HOLD, S.S. MAJESTY – DAY, EVENING
In the Majesty’s cargo hold, Nyssa and Billy are brought in by Snowy and Buster. Snowy and Buster lay them down on the ground whilst they’re still knocked out.
BUSTER
(satisfied) Well, now that we’ve got them out cold and in the cargo hold, what do we do now?
SNOWY
We take our clothes off.
BUSTER
(flabbergasted) What? Are you out of your mind…?
SNOWY
(interjects) And swap them with theirs, you moron! We pass off as them to get to Judy and Mickey, remember?
BUSTER
(realises) Oh, right! Yeah, sorry!
SNOWY
Help me with getting this one’s dress off first.
Buster helps Snowy, as they begin to take off Nyssa’s dress whilst she’s unconscious.
BUSTER
Say, do you think this is a good idea? I mean, this is not part of our job description. And we certainly don’t know how to deal with doppelgängers.
SNOWY
What else do you expect us to do? Besides, we’ve got them drugged. They should be out cold for a few hours.
BUSTER
A few hours?!
SNOWY
Well, maybe half an hour, I don’t know. But we can still lock them up in here so that they can’t get out. No one will know they’re in here.
BUSTER
(sighs) I suppose you’re right.
Eventually, they finish undressing Nyssa.
SNOWY
Here. We’ve got her dress off. Let’s do the boy next. Take off his jacket.
BUSTER
(impressed) I must say, the girl has a fine figure.
SNOWY
(shrewdly) Cut it out, Buster! We know you like your women.
BUSTER
She’s obviously identical to you, isn’t she? You’ve got a nice figure too.
SNOWY
I’ll give you a knuckle sandwich if you don’t shut up! Come on! The boy!
They attend to Billy, getting his clothes off. They do this in silence for a while.
BUSTER
(satisfied) There! Got his jacket off. Do we need to take off his pants?
SNOWY
No. Let the guy have his privacy. Besides you’re giving him your clothes anyway. So, strip off!
BUSTER
Beg your pardon?
SNOWY
Strip off!
BUSTER
(coyly) Just as you say.
SNOWY
(frustrated) Not for me, for him! Put your filthy jacket on him, then take his to wear!
BUSTER
My jacket’s not filthy, thank you very much.
SNOWY
I beg to differ.
BUSTER
I highly resent that.
SNOWY
At least I get to wear a nice silky dress. The boy obviously has taste in women. He certainly married the glamorous type.
BUSTER
You’re not going to leave her cold, are you? In her underwear?
SNOWY
Don’t be such a dumbbell. I’m giving her my blouse. She’ll have something to put on when she wakes up, won’t she?
Eventually, Snowy and Buster put on Nyssa and Billy’s clothes. Silence ensues as they do so.
SNOWY
There. How do I look?
BUSTER
This jacket’s tight on me. Surely the boy isn’t thinner than me.
SNOWY
That’s your imagination. (shrewdly) And I’m so glad you think this dress suits me.
BUSTER
What? (dismissively) Oh yes, yes. Very nice.
SNOWY
(sighs) Come on. We’ve a job to do.
BUSTER
Hold on, hold on! Aren’t we going to put our clothes on our doubles first before we leave?
SNOWY
There’s no time. They’ll have to wear our clothes themselves. We’ve got to lock them in now! Besides, I don’t fancy looking at myself as much as you do.
BUSTER
I never said I liked looking at myself. Looking at another you on the other hand…
SNOWY
(interrupts) Come on, you bozo! Let’s go before Judy and Mickey get out of our sights again!
Snowy and Buster head out to find Judy and Mickey, leaving Nyssa and Billy unconscious in the cargo hold. A low moan emanates from Nyssa and Billy, as the cargo hold door closes up and is locked from the other side by Snowy and Buster.
SCENE #25 – INT – DINING ROOM, S.S. MAJESTY – DAY, EVENING
Back in the Majesty’s dining area, the audience applauds again after enjoying Paul Whiteman and his band. The Smiths have especially enjoyed their music.
BETSEY
(cheers) That was terrific! Paul Whiteman and his band! Oh, I felt dancing! Why couldn’t one of your guys have asked me to dance with you?
ROGER
(coyly) I had no idea you wanted to dance. You should have asked.
BETSEY
(grumbles) Oh, really.
ARTHUR
I’ll dance with you next time, Betsey.
BETSEY
(grumbles) We’ll have to wait after Judy and Mickey’s next song though.
ROGER
(teases) And I thought you loved hearing those two.
BETSEY
(agitated) Oh!!!!!
Just then, the Doctor turns up, approaching the Smiths at their table.
DOCTOR
Excuse me! Sorry to interrupt.
ALONZO
Oh, hello there, sir. How can we help?
DOCTOR
You haven’t by any chance seen a young couple, have you?
ARTHUR
There are plenty of young couples in this dining area, you know.
DOCTOR
Yes, yes, but this couple are very specific. They’re my friends. A young girl, very pretty, and a young man, quite taller than her.
BETSEY
They wouldn’t be Nyssa and Billy by any chance, would they?
DOCTOR
Yes! Yes, they would. Have you met them?
BETSEY
They were here a little while ago.
ROGER
They went out during one of the numbers. Strange how they went. Nobody noticed them go, you see.
DOCTOR
Do you have an idea of where they might have gone to?
ARTHUR
Not sure, buddy. They probably went out for a bit of fresh air. They might come back in here if you’re lucky.
DOCTOR
Thank you so much. I’ll go and see if I can find them.
With that, the Doctor heads out and leaves the Smiths at their table. The Smiths are bewildered once the Doctor’s gone.
ROGER
Huh! What an odd fella!
BETSEY
He seemed very concerned about his two friends. Do you think something terrible has happened to them?
ARTHUR
There’s no need to be highly strung about it, Betsey.
ALONZO
Oh let’s not quarrel about this, kids. I’m sure everything will be fine.
BETSEY
Let’s hope so. Those two – Nyssa and Billy – seemed such a nice pair when we met them.
ROGER
Yeah. Rather like Judy and Mickey.
Betsey is about to retort before the crowd applauds again, as Mickey Rooney appears on the stage.
MICKEY
Howdy, folks! You’re having a nice time?
A loud roar of applause answers Mickey’s question.
MICKEY
That’s great! Well, here’s Judy again! She’s gonna sing a song you’ve never heard her sing before! It’s a sensation, I assure you. Here she is singing for you – ‘Embraceable You’.
The crowd applauds again, as Mickey goes off and Judy appears on the stage. The music begins and very soon, Judy sings ‘Embraceable You’ to the audience.*(Song #4)
Halfway during the song, Betsey alerts her family.
BETSEY
(cheers) Hey! Look, guys! Mom, dad! Over there!
ALONZO
What is it, Betsey? What’s wrong?
BETSEY
(cheers) There’s that couple! Nyssa and Billy! They just came in! On the dance floor, see?
ARTHUR
(realises) Oh, yes! I see them now! (Pause) Say, what do they think they’re doing? They’re taking center stage from Judy?
ROGER
They’re dancing on the dance floor whilst Judy sings!
ALONZO
They’re certainly very good dancers. A splendid pair!
BETSEY
And Judy doesn’t seem that bothered by them.
The young couple, who are actually Snowy and Buster, dance together on the dance floor whilst Judy sings and the music continues.*(Song #4)
After a while, the audience applauds again and Snowy and Buster take a bow whilst the music continues to play. At that point, Mickey reappears on the stage.
MICKEY
(encouragingly) Come on, folks! Don’t be shy! Take your partners on the dance floor and be happy! Dance to Judy as she sings and to Paul and band as they play!
Everybody starts getting up to join Snowy and Buster on the dance floor whilst the music is being played. Betsey too gets up and drags Arthur with her.
BETSEY
Come on, Arthur! Take me onto the dance floor right now!
ARTHUR
Hold on, Betsey! When I said I’d dance with you, I didn’t mean…
BETSEY
You said you’d dance with me next time. Well, this is the next dance! Mickey just said so! Now come on!
ARTHUR
(protests) But Betsey…
BETSEY
Come on!
Betsey drags Arthur with her as they join the dancers on the dance floor with Paul and his band playing music in the background. Alonzo and Roger watch Betsey and Arthur dance together.
ALONZO
She’s a happy and giddy soul, isn’t she, your sister?
ROGER
She is. One wonders how we manage to tolerate her enthusiasm.
ALONZO
Now, Roger. It’s good she has that spirit. I wouldn’t mind seeing that in you as well as Arthur more often.
ROGER
Really? Sorry to disappoint you.
At that moment, Anna quakes and shiver.
ALONZO
Anna? Anna, what is it? What’s wrong?
ANNA
(scared) Danger! The danger is coming! It’s getting closer and closer! And we can’t see it!
ALONZO
What’s coming, dearest? Is it this ‘death’ thing you spoke of?
ANNA
(scared) Land! There is a land coming for us!
ALONZO
Land? What land’s that, my darling?
ANNA
(gradually; scared) The island of death. We’re making for the island of death!
* See Appendix: Song Lyrics*
© Tim Bradley, 2025
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