Chapter 2
SCENE #15 – INT – CORRIDOR, S.S. MAJESTY – DAY, AFTERNOON
On his way to the bridge, Captain Toler is joined by Pugsley.
CAPTAIN TOLER
How long have you been a sea-faring man, Davies?
PUGSLEY
Long enough, sir. About ten years’ active service.
CAPTAIN TOLER
Really? What was your first commission?
PUGSLEY
The S.S. Harbour. Was a midshipman for two years before I became a lieutenant.
CAPTAIN TOLER
Interesting. They said they’d send a first-class first officer that’s Majesty material. I hope you can meet my expectations, Davies.
PUGSLEY
Without a doubt, sir. I’m very reliable.
CAPTAIN TOLER
Well, it’s early days. I’m sure we’ll see things eye to eye as time goes on.
PUGSLEY
Yes, sir. I hope so.
CAPTAIN TOLER
I take it the safe is securely locked with the package inside?
PUGSLEY
As per your instructions, sir.
Just then, they’re interrupted, as Snowy and Buster appear.
BUSTER
(calls) Excuse me! Hey, buddy, over here!
CAPTAIN TOLER
(angrily) What do you two think you’re doing? No passengers in this area! Crew only!
SNOWY
Sorry, Captain, sir. We err…got lost. We’re trying to find our way back to our quarters, but we took a wrong turning.
PUGSLEY
I’ll handle this, sir. I know how to deal with this sort.
CAPTAIN TOLER
(grudgingly) Oh, very well. But no dilly-dallying. I expect you to be on the bridge as soon as possible, Mr. Davies.
PUGSLEY
This won’t take long. I assure you, sir. Excuse me. (to Snowy; Buster) Come this way, you two.
SNOWY
Oh, much appreciated, kind sir.
BUSTER
Yeah, thanks, pal.
Pugsley goes to Snowy and Buster before escorting them out of earshot from the Captain.
SCENE #16 – INT – CORRIDOR, S.S. MAJESTY – DAY, AFTERNOON
Around the corner, Pugsley, Snowy and Buster are in another corridor before they confer with each other.
PUGSLEY
(annoyed) What are you two doing here? I told you to wait for me in my cabin.
SNOWY
This couldn’t wait. We’ve got big problems.
PUGSLEY
(sighs) What problems may they be?
BUSTER
There are two people who look exactly like us! A boy and a girl!
PUGSLEY
Yeah, so?
SNOWY
So? SO?!!! Can’t you grasp the seriousness of the situation? Those two have already met Judy Garland and Mickey Rooney! Big blooper for our grand plans! What are we going to do now? We can’t show ourselves to Judy and Mickey now!
PUGSLEY
(considers) What were these two like?
BUSTER
Mild and rather happy. The boy’s like me. A big fan of Judy’s. They are married. The boy said the girl was his wife.
PUGSLEY
(realises) Well, that shouldn’t be a problem then, should it?
SNOWY
Don’t get what you mean.
PUGSLEY
Well, you know a lot about Judy, don’t you, Buster?
BUSTER
A little, but I don’t see…
PUGSLEY
And you two can pass off as a married couple, can’t you?
SNOWY
(realises; protests) Married couple? Now wait a minute…
PUGSLEY
Problem solved! You’ve just gotta act like you’ve met Judy already. Is it likely those two are gonna see Judy and Mickey again?
BUSTER
As a matter of fact, yes. Judy invited them to tonight’s show. In the dining area, I believe.
PUGSLEY
That’s where you’ve gotta go to meet Judy and Mickey. Find them and act the part before giving your generous offer to Miss Garland.
SNOWY
What about the other two that look like us? What if they get in the way?
PUGSLEY
That’s your problem, not mine. I expect you to sort them out with your…ingenuity. The big operation is tomorrow. No slacking, get it?
SNOWY
(annoyed) Thanks a bunch! You’re a great help, Pugs.
BUSTER
You seem to be doing well yourself. How are you getting on?
PUGSLEY
The bluff has worked with the Captain. He doesn’t suspect me for a bit. He’s dumb, and I’ve got the real package from his safe. Replaced it with the fake one.
SNOWY
(amazed) You have the package. What we came for?
PUGSLEY
It’s in my jacket pocket. Safe and sound.
BUSTER
What’s in the package, Puggy?
PUGSLEY
(annoyed) None of your business! Come on, you two! Let’s get outta here!
SNOWY
Okay, don’t get on your high horse.
PUGSLEY
And don’t call me Puggy or Pugs, do you hear?
BUSTER
Sorry, Puggy…I mean, Pugsley. We won’t let it happen again. We’re off!
PUGSLEY
(sighs) I’ve gotta get to the bridge. Don’t bother me ever again unless it’s urgent, okay?
Without waiting for an answer, Pugsley leaves to join the Captain on the ship’s bridge. Meanwhile, Snowy and Buster head off to find Judy Garland again. Once they’ve gone, someone comes out of hiding, causing a floorboard to creak.
SCENE #17 – INT – JUDY’S CHANGING ROOM. S.S. MAJESTY – DAY, EVENING
That evening aboard the S.S. Majesty, Judy Garland is in her dressing room, getting ready for the show tonight. There’s a knock on the door.
JUDY
Come in.
The door opens and Mickey Rooney enters.
MICKEY
Hi, Judy. Mind if I come in?
JUDY
No, of course not. Hi, Mick.
Mickey closes the door behind him. He presents Judy with a bouquet of flowers.
MICKEY
Just a little something to wish you luck for tonight. You’re gonna be swell!
JUDY
(gratified) Oh, thanks, Mick, they’re wonderful! Are they yours?
MICKEY
Well, half’s mine; the other half is from the fans.
JUDY
(laughs) Gee, that’s sweet.
MICKEY
All set for tonight, are we?
JUDY
Yeah, sure. We’re still doing the songs we’ve got arranged for tonight, aren’t we?
MICKEY
Yep! Paul Whiteman’s out in the gallery getting his boys ready. We’ve got a great show tonight! The kids are gonna love it!
JUDY
Not everyone has come to see me and you, Mick. Some have come just for holidaying or touring.
MICKEY
Nonsense! Everyone loves you, Judy! Especially that great film you did.
JUDY
I seem to be getting a good reaction from being in ‘The Wizard of Oz’ lately.
MICKEY
‘Course you are. I’ll never forget the day you told me you’d won the part of Dorothy. It was after a recording session you did on ‘Broadway Melody of Nineteen Thirty-Three’. I was on my way to meet you, remember?
JUDY
How can I forget? I only just found out I’d got the part not long after my audition. I couldn’t believe it.
MICKEY
I told you you’d be famous, and here we are.
JUDY
(sighs) I’m not sure I’m movie material though. I mean, I’ve done well with ‘Wizard of Oz’, sure, but where’s the rest of my career going to go? If MGM keep me that is.
MICKEY
You’re gonna be a sensation, Judy. And you’ll be doing some films with me.
JUDY
You think so?
MICKEY
Yeah! We’ve got ourselves lined up for another Andy Hardy film as well as a film with Busby Berkeley next year!
JUDY
Busby Berkeley?
MICKEY
Yeah, something called… Oh, what was it? Err… ‘Strike Up the Band’! Yeah, that’s it!
JUDY
(surprised; realises) ‘Strike Up the Band’? That’s one of the films that boy said I would be in.
MICKEY
(puzzled) Boy? What boy?
JUDY
You know, that boy we met earlier! In the bar? One of my fans? He said I was in ‘Strike Up the Band’. (puzzled) Or was it his wife who said that?
MICKEY
I shouldn’t worry about those kids. They shouldn’t have bothered you in the first place when you were having your down-time in the bar.
JUDY
Actually, I found them kinda nice, including the boy. He seemed very complimentary.
MICKEY
Nice? Well, I suppose they would be since they’re fans of yours.
JUDY
You’re just jealous because I have more fan attention than you.
MICKEY
(teases) Me jealous? Think nothing of it!
Judy and Mickey laugh.
JUDY
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to finish getting myself ready for the show. Can’t have you chatting to me all evening.
MICKEY
Okay. No skin off my nose.
JUDY
See you backstage.
MICKEY
Yeah, alright. See you later.
Mickey leaves, opening and closing the door behind him. Meanwhile, Judy sets about changing into her evening clothes.
JUDY
Now, which dress shall I wear? Bright or dark?
Moment of silence.
JUDY
(sighs) I shouldn’t have let Mick go. He could have told me which one’s best. (Pause) Oh, well. No one’s gonna expect me to look spectacular like Liz Taylor, are they?
SCENE #18 – INT – DINING ROOM, S.S. MAJESTY – DAY, EVENING
Later in the dining room aboard the S.S. Majesty, jazz music is played by Paul Whiteman and his band. Dancers are on the dance floor dancing to the music. Seated at a table are Nyssa and Billy, who have a romantic dinner together. They watch Paul Whiteman and his band.
BILLY
Enjoying the evening, dear?
NYSSA
Are you, Billy? You seem quite taken with this band.
BILLY
This is my favourite kind of jazz music. I honestly didn’t expect to see Paul Whiteman as well as his band here.
NYSSA
Seems nobody else was expecting them either. There was a huge applause when they came on.
BILLY
(concerned) This music isn’t too much for you, is it? It’s not too energetic?
NYSSA
Actually, I find it rather pleasant. (Pause) Mind you, some of the other jazz music concerts that we’ve been to tend to be rather loud and unorthodox, in my opinion.
BILLY
Yeah, well, those music bands weren’t playing proper jazz music. It didn’t feel nostalgic nor relaxing. It felt hard and churned up. I like jazz music to be pleasant.
NYSSA
I wouldn’t mind dancing. So many people got on the dance floor before we did.
BILLY
Don’t worry, sweetheart. I’ll have you swept off your feet before you know it.
NYSSA
Not too much, I hope.
Billy laughs.
BILLY
Anyway, I thought you’d like to finish your meal first. You seem to be enjoying it.
NYSSA
And you clearly enjoy the Nineteen-Thirties, don’t you?
BILLY
They’re vintage years! Some of the finest music and nostalgia can be found in this time period. It’s something I look forward to after braving a hard adventure with the Doctor in the TARDIS.
NYSSA
Yes. We don’t suffer so much when we take relaxing holidays such as this. (Pause) I’m looking forward to more of these in our marriage.
Nyssa and Billy kiss.
BILLY
Don’t raise your expectations too high, dear. I might not be able to persuade the Doctor so easily in getting us to time periods that you and I would like to go to.
NYSSA
We can always enjoy relaxing getaways in your time period, Billy. (Pause; considers) I don’t mind us being together in the Nineteen-Sixties. Whether it’s far away or close to your parents.
BILLY
(thinks) Yes. (Pause) I suppose you’re not comfortable with the idea of revisiting Traken, are you? Especially after our trip to Riverloth.
NYSSA
Traken is my past, Billy. I’m happy to spend my married life with you, wherever and whenever we are.
Moment of silence.
BILLY
There’s that house we once had in Swansea in Twenty-Thirteen, remember? It’s not much, but I rather liked it.
NYSSA
Me too. I wouldn’t like to sacrifice that home of sorts just yet.
BILLY
(teases) I’m pleased you and I share alike minds.
Both giggle before they’re interrupted as a family of onlookers close.
BETSEY
(cheers) That Paul Whiteman is such a genius! I doubt anyone can top him!
ROGER
Betsey, keep your voice down! Others are trying to enjoy the music!
BETSEY
(cheers) But it’s true, Roger! Paul Whiteman and his band are legends! I’d give anything to meet them backstage!
ARTHUR
Betsey, we know how much you’re into your celebrities, but that’s not why we’re here on this cruise, is it?!
ALONZO
(interjects; calmly) Alright, alright, kids! Let’s not fight over this. Let’s keep quiet and enjoy the show.
BETSEY
Oh, I’m enjoying the show, Dad! It’s these two that are spoiling it for us! (excited) Oh, I can’t wait to see Judy and Mickey on stage!
ROGER
(annoyed) Betsey! We get the picture, okay!
BETSEY
(annoyed) Don’t start that again, cheapskate!
ROGER
There’s no need to insult your brother!
Billy quietly confers with Nyssa.
BILLY
(whispers) It seems they’re here for the same purpose as us.
Arthur spots Nyssa and Billy nearby.
ARTHUR
Sorry about this, you two. Our sister here is a bit of a jazz fanatic.
NYSSA
That’s alright. My husband’s the same.
BILLY
(slightly annoyed) No need to broadcast it, Nyssa!
BETSEY
(realises) Oh! You’re both Judy Garland fans too, are you? Swell! My name’s Betsey! Betsey Smith!
NYSSA
Hello, Betsey. I’m Nyssa. This is my husband, Billy.
BILLY
Hi, Betsey!
Nyssa and Billy shake Betsey’s hand.
BETSEY
And these are my brothers! Roger and Arthur.
ROGER
Hello.
ARTHUR
Nice knowing ya.
BETSEY
And our Mom and Dad – Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
NYSSA
Very pleased to meet you all.
ALONZO
I’m Alonzo. This is my wife Anna.
BILLY
Hello Alonzo. Hello Anna.
Alonzo looks to Anna, who’s distracted.
ALONZO
(encouragingly) Anna, come on! Say hello to our new friends.
ANNA
(scared) Something terrible is about to happen!
ALONZO
(puzzled) Terrible? What do you mean, my dear?
ANNA
(scared) Something’s about to happen on this cruise! To many of us!
ARTHUR
(concerned) Hey, Mom, are you alright?
ANNA
(scared) Something’s wrong! Something dreadful is about to happen! I can feel it!
SCENE #19 – INT – DINING ROOM, S.S. MAJESTY – DAY, EVENING
Meanwhile, Snowy and Buster enter, but keep to the shadows as they look around.
BUSTER
Well, here are. There’s that Whiteman guy up there with his band.
SNOWY
No sign of Judy yet. Perhaps she’s not on yet.
BUSTER
But there is sign of somebody we do know. Look, down there!
SNOWY
Oh, yes! Of course! The boy and the girl who look exactly like us!
BUSTER
How are we going to pounce on them? Get them out of the picture?
SNOWY
(reassuringly) Leave it to me. I know how to handle them. (Pause) Hey, look! Whiteman’s about to make an announcement.
They quickly sit at a table, whilst Paul Whiteman on stage is about to make an announcement to everyone.
SCENE #20 – INT – DINING ROOM, S.S. MAJESTY – DAY, EVENING
PAUL WHITEMAN
(loudly) Thank you, folks. Great to be here for all of you. Now it’s time to introduce you to a bright star. It’s the gal you’ve been waiting for. Here she is! Miss Judy Garland!
Everybody cheers, as Judy Garland comes out on stage ready to sign.
BETSEY
It’s her! It’s Judy Garland! Oh, doesn’t she look wonderful?
ROGER
Alright, alright, Betsey! We know, we know!
Billy whispers to Nyssa.
BILLY
She’s here. We’re actually seeing Judy for real performing a song. How amazing is that?
NYSSA
Yes, Billy. I know it is.
They watch as Judy curtsies and sings. She sings the song ‘Zing! Went the strings of my heart!’ for the rest of this sequence.*(Song #2)
The audience claps once she finishes.
SCENE #21 – INT – CORRIDOR, S.S. MAJESTY – DAY, EVENING
In a corridor of the S.S. Majesty, Pugsley makes his way down the corridor to go to his cabin. He comes across a Midshipman who salutes him.
MIDSHIPMAN
Sir!
PUGSLEY
Ah! Midshipman?
MIDSHIPMAN
Yes, sir.
PUGSLEY
Good. Good. (Pause) I’m off to my cabin now, shipman. I’m not to be disturbed. Is that understood?
MIDSHIPMAN
Understood, sir. Not to be disturbed.
PUGSLEY
No-one is disturb me without good reason. Unless of course it happens to be the Captain. You got that, shipman.
MIDSHIPMAN
Yes, sir. Understood, sir.
PUGSLEY
I see. (Pause) Thank you, Midshipman. Carry on.
Pugsley walks off and goes to his cabin. The Midshipman watches him go.
MIDSHIPMAN
New first officer then. Pretty brusque fella.
The Midshipman turns round and gets bumped into by the Doctor who walks in his way.
DOCTOR
Oh, pardon me! Didn’t mean to crash into you like that!
MIDSHIPMAN
That’s alright. No problem.
DOCTOR
I should have looked where I’m going. I seem to be lost.
MIDSHIPMAN
That’s not a problem, sir. I… (realises) Hang on! Aren’t you…?
DOCTOR
(interjects) Sorry. Got to rush. Bye.
The Doctor goes off and excuses himself down the corridor, whilst the Midshipman watches him aghast.
MIDSHIPMAN
(aghast) I just can’t believe it! It’s not possible! I’m going mad! I must be going mad!
SCENE #22 – INT – DINING ROOM, S.S. MAJESTY – DAY, EVENING
In the dining room, Judy has just finished her song and everybody applauds whilst she bows. Everybody is full of delight and cheer after watching Judy sing.
BETSEY
Isn’t she wonderful?! I told you she was wonderful! Wasn’t she wonderful, guys?
ARTHUR
Yes, yes, Betsey. Very wonderful indeed.
ROGER
She is good, I’ll give her that.
Nyssa and Billy applaud too.
BILLY
You enjoyed that as much as I did, didn’t you, Nyssa?
NYSSA
She’s got a nice voice. I can see why you like her, Billy.
BILLY
Yes. She’s amazing. A ‘talented performer’, as Fred Astaire described her.
NYSSA
Fred Astaire?
BILLY
I told you about him, haven’t I?
NYSSA
I don’t remember.
BILLY
Never mind.
The applause dies down as Judy begins to speak.
JUDY
Gee, thanks, all you folks. Great to have you here. Now will you please give a big round of applause for my very good friend? Yours and mine – Mickey Rooney!
Everybody applauds again as Mickey Rooney comes to join the stage with Judy.
MICKEY
Thanks, Judy. Gee you were swell in that number. One of your greats.
JUDY
Thank you, Mickey. Now, do you remember that song we used to sing before I did ‘Wizard of Oz’? You remember the one, Mickey. It’s what we sung to start the day and be happy.
MICKEY
Oh, ‘Good Mornin’! Yes that’s right. But it’s still evening.
JUDY
It’s on its way to midnight. And we might as well say good mornin’ to everyone before they get to sleep. Otherwise we’ll never say “Good mornin'” to them when its daybreak.
MICKEY
Good point, Judy. Alright then. Well, here’s from us – me and Judy. Good mornin’ to you all!
Everybody cheers and claps as the lights go out, the music begins and the duet between Mickey and Judy commences. They sing the song ‘Good Mornin’ to everyone.*(Song #3) During their song, Nyssa and Billy watch.
NYSSA
It feels atmospheric. The way they’ve turned the lights out.
BILLY
This song will be a well-known one by the time ‘Singin’ in the Rain’ comes along.
NYSSA
‘Singin’ in the Rain’?
BILLY
Yes. You like that film. Remember the one with Gene Kelly and Debbie Reynolds. It’s the one about silent movies becoming talking pictures. That girl with the high-pitched voice.
NYSSA
Oh, that film – ‘Singin’ in the Rain’. Yes, I remember. So, this song came from Judy and Mickey, as we’re sitting here now.
BILLY
Well, no. ‘Good Mornin’ was a song that had many different renditions over the years. Same with ‘Singin’ in the Rain’. Judy sang her own rendition of the song before it became popular in the Nineteen-Fifties.
NYSSA
You do know your films and music, Billy.
BILLY
I try my best.
NYSSA
You do have good times in who you like in films and singing. These two are really good together here.
BILLY
Yeah, I’m glad you like them.
They become silent.
BILLY
Say? How about you and I take a walk on the deck? And watch the night sky? There’s a good full moon out.
NYSSA
Oh, I thought you wanted to see Judy and Mickey someway during this show.
BILLY
Oh, we can say ‘hello’ to them, yes. But…I still want to spend time with you. On our romantic honeymoon. I want to put my arms around you as we walk watching the night together. (Pause) How about it, Nyssa?
NYSSA
(gradually) Well, I wouldn’t mind some fresh air myself. So long as we dance at some point during the evening…
Suddenly, they’re interrupted, as Buster and Snowy come up behind them.
BUSTER
(menacingly) Alright, you two. Playtime’s over.
BILLY
Sorry? Who are you two…?
SNOWY
(menacingly) Sorry to do this. But we got a job.
NYSSA
What are you…?
Nyssa and Billy gasp before they’re knocked out by Snowy and Buster. Their heads land on the table.
BUSTER
(whispers) You didn’t drug them too heavily, did you?
SNOWY
(whispers) No. Just enough to keep them quiet before we take them out. Now let’s do this whilst nobody’s looking.
Buster and Snowy drag Nyssa and Billy out whilst they’re unconscious. Eventually, Judy and Mickey finish their song and everybody cheers and applauds.*(Song #3)
MICKEY
Thank you. Thank you so much!
JUDY
Big hand for Paul Whiteman!
MICKEY
(cheers) And his fabulous orchestra!
Everybody claps and cheers. It increases with young people screaming their heads off.
BETSEY
(cheers) Oh, that was great! I just can’t believe it! Mickey Rooney and Judy Garland right before us singing! That’s one I’ll never forget for the rest of my life!
ROGER
Alright, alright, Betsey! Pipe down! You must control yourself!
BETSEY
(groans) Oh you’re no fun at all! (to Nyssa; Billy) What do you think, you two?! Did you think that was splendid…?
Betsey looks to find Nyssa and Billy have gone.
BETSEY
(startled) Hey? That nice couple? Where did they go?
ARTHUR
I don’t know. One minute they were here. The next they weren’t. They must have gone out when the lights went out.
Meanwhile, Alonso attends to Anna.
ANNA
(scared) Something terrible is about to happen. I can feel it. It’s all too much for me.
ALONSO
(concerned) What’s the matter, Anna? What are you so worried about?
ANNA
(gradually; scared) Death! Death is coming!
SCENE #23 – INT – FIRST OFFICER’S CABIN. S.S. MAJESTY – DAY, EVENING
Meanwhile Pugsley is in the first officer’s cabin as he sits on the bed and opening the package. He takes a look at the pearl ring inside and gives a low whistle of awe.
PUGSLEY
This is too good to be true. Oh, this will make us Slithee rich. How good it is to be working for such a fine boss to get a gem as this.
Moment of silence, as Pugsley continues to be entranced with awe.
PUGSLEY
Now if only Snowy and Buster are able to get Judy and Mickey’s attention and agreement. I like getting the easy job whilst they get the dirty work.
Pugsley doesn’t realise he’s been watched, as the Doctor has just walked away after overhearing him, almost scraping the door. Pugsley is alerted to the scraping.
PUGSLEY
What was that then? (Pause; shrugs) Must have been a rat.
SCENE #24 – INT – CARGO HOLD, S.S. MAJESTY – DAY, EVENING
In the cargo hold, Nyssa and Billy are brought in by Snowy and Buster. They lay them down on the ground having knocked them out.
BUSTER
(satisfied) Well, now we’ve got them out cold and in the cargo hold, what do we do now?
SNOWY
We take our clothes off!
BUSTER
What?! Are you out of your mind…?
SNOWY
And swap them with theirs, you moron! You pass off as them to get to Judy and Mickey in the dining hall.
BUSTER
Oh, right! Sorry!
SNOWY
Just help me get this one’s dress off!
Buster helps Snowy taking Nyssa’s dress off before they deal with Billy.
BUSTER
Say! Do you think this is a good idea? I mean…this is not part of our job description and we certainly don’t know how to deal with doppelgangers.
SNOWY
What else do you expect us to do? Besides we got them drugged. They should be out cold within a few hours.
BUSTER
A few hours?
SNOWY
(thinks) Well, maybe an half an hour. But we can still lock them up in here so they can’t get out. No one knows they’re in here once we get out.
BUSTER
I suppose you’re right.
SNOWY
Here. We’ve got her dress off. Let’s try the boy now. Take off his jacket.
BUSTER
I must say, the girl has a fine figure.
SNOWY
Knock it off, Buster. We know how much fancy you get for girls.
BUSTER
She obviously is identical to you. You got a nice figure too.
SNOWY
I’ll give you a knuckle sandwich if you don’t shut up. Come on. The boy. Who looks like you of course.
They attend to Billy, getting his clothes off once finishing with Nyssa. They remain silent as they do it.
BUSTER
(satisfied) There! Got his jacket off. Do you need to take off his pants?
SNOWY
No, no. Let the guy have some privacy. Besides you’re giving him his clothes anyway. Strip off!
BUSTER
Beg your pardon?
SNOWY
Strip off!
BUSTER
(coolly) Just as you say.
SNOWY
For him! Give your filthy jacket to him! Then take his to wear!
BUSTER
My jacket’s not filthy.
SNOWY
I beg to differ.
BUSTER
I highly resent that.
SNOWY
At least I get to wear a nice silky dress. The boy obviously has tastes in women. He certainly married the right glamorous type.
BUSTER
You’re not going to leave her cold, are you? In her underwear? Naked?
SNOWY
Don’t such a dumbbell. I’m giving her my blouse. She can wear that when she wakes up, can’t she?
Snowy and Buster put Nyssa and Billy’s clothes on to try and see if they fit.
SNOWY
There. How do I look?
BUSTER
This jacket’s tight on me. Surely the boy isn’t thinner than me.
SNOWY
That’s your imagination. You’re bound to be fat as he.
BUSTER
I’m not fat, thank you very much. I just got a bit of a more muscular physique, that’s all.
SNOWY
So glad you think the dress suits me as much as it does her.
BUSTER
Oh yes, yes. Very nice indeed.
SNOWY
(sighs) Come on. We got a job to do.
BUSTER
Hold on, hold on! Aren’t we going to get our clothes onto our doubles lying there already?
SNOWY
There’s no time. They can do it themselves. We got to lock them in! Besides I don’t fancy looking myself as much as you do.
BUSTER
I never said I liked looking at myself. Though looking at another you…
SNOWY
Come on, bozo! Let’s go before Judy and Mickey get out of our sights again. We got to convince them with our proposition. Come on!
Snowy drags Buster as they go out to find Judy and Mickey, leaving Nyssa and Billy unconscious in the cargo hold. A loan moan comes from both of them, whilst the cargo hold door is being locked by Snowy and Buster.
SCENE #25 – INT – DINING ROOM, S.S. MAJESTY – DAY, EVENING
Back in the dining area, the audience claps after enjoying watching and listening to Paul Whiteman and his musicians. The Smith family have enjoyed the music, especially Betsey who’s raving about it.
BETSEY
That was terrific! Paul Whiteman and his band! I felt dancing! Why couldn’t one of your guys ask me to dance with you?
ROGER
I had no idea you wanted to. You should have asked us.
BETSEY
(grumbles) Oh, really.
ARTHUR
I’ll ask you for a dance next time, shall I, Betsey?
BETSEY
We’ll have to wait though. Judy and Mickey are bound to up next singing.
ROGER
I thought you loved hearing those two, Betsey dear.
BETSEY
(agitated) Oh!!!!!
At that moment, the Doctor turns up as he approaches the Smiths at their table.
DOCTOR
Excuse me? Sorry to interrupt.
ALONZO
Oh, hello there, sir. How can we help you?
DOCTOR
You haven’t by any chance seeing a young couple in here, have you?
ARTHUR
There are plenty of young couples in this dining area, you know.
DOCTOR
Yes, yes. But this couple are more specific. They’re my friends. A young girl, very pretty, and a young man, rather taller than her.
BETSEY
Oh! They wouldn’t by any chance be Nyssa and Billy, would they?
DOCTOR
Yes, they would. Have you met them then?
BETSEY
They were here a while ago.
ROGER
Yes. And they soon went out. During one of the numbers. Strange how they went. Nobody noticed, you see.
DOCTOR
Do you know where they’ve gone?
ARTHUR
Not sure, buddy. They probably went out for a bit of fresh air. They might come back in here if you’re lucky.
DOCTOR
Thank you very much. I’ll go and see if I can find them. Thank you. Sorry to have troubled you all.
The Doctor then heads out and leaves the Smiths at their table. The Smiths are left confused once the Doctor’s gone.
ROGER
Huh. What an odd fella!
BETSEY
(concerned) He seemed obviously concerned about those two friends of his we met. Do you think something terrible has happened to them?
ARTHUR
There’s no need to be that highly strung about it.
ALONZO
Oh let’s not quarrel about this, children. (to Betsey) I’m sure everything will be fine, Betsey. He’s probably trying to find them so they can meet up.
BETSEY
Are you sure?
ALONZO
Well, I can’t be sure, but I’d like to think so.
BETSEY
Yeah, well I hope so. They seemed such a nice pair when we met them.
ROGER
Yeah. Rather like Judy and Mickey, hey?
Betsey is about to retort before the crowd applauds again. Out comes Mickey Rooney, who stands at the microphone.
MICKEY
Howdy, folks! You’re all having a nice time?
A loud roar of applause responds to Mickey’s question.
MICKEY
That’s great! Well, here’s Judy again about to sing a song you’ve never heard her sing before. It’s going to be a sensation, I assure you. Here she is singing…‘Embraceable You’.
The whole crowd applauds again as Mickey goes off and Judy comes on. The music begins and Judy is about to sing. She sings ‘Embraceable You’. to the whole audience.*(Song #4) Halfway during the song, Betsey alerts his family.
BETSEY
(cheers) Hey, look! Guys, mom, dad, over there!
ALONZO
What is it, Betsey? What’s wrong?
ARTHUR
What is it now this time, sister?
BETSEY
(cheers) There’s those two. That couple. Nyssa and Billy. They just came in. On the dance floor, see!
ARTHUR
Oh, yes! I see them now! (Pause) Say, what do they think they’re doing, those two? They’re taking center stage from Judy?
ROGER
They’re dancing on the dance floor. Both of them together as Judy sings!
ALONZO
They certainly are good. I think they’re a good pair of dancers.
BETSEY
Yeah. And Judy doesn’t seem that bothered by them.
The young couple, who are actually Snowy and Buster, dance together on the dance floor whilst Judy singing and the music continues.*(Song #4) After a while, the whole audience applauds and Snowy and Buster take a bow whilst the music’s played. Mickey at that point steps forward.
MICKEY
Come on, folks, don’t be shy! Take your partners on the dance floor and be happy. Dance to Judy as she sings and Paul’s band as they play. Come on everybody, dance now!
Everybody begins to get up and join Snowy and Buster on the dance floor, whilst the music is played. Betsey gets up and drags Arthur with him.
BETSEY
Come on, Arthur! Take me on the dance floor right now!
ARTHUR
Now hold on a minute, Betsey darling. When I said I’d dance…
BETSEY
You did say you’d dance with me when the next comes along. This is the next one. Mickey just said so. Now come on!
ARTHUR
But Betsey…
BETSEY
Come on! Or else I’ll have to drag you!
Betsey drags Arthur with her and they both join the dancers on the dance floor and Paul’s band playing. Alonzo and Roger are watching.
ALONZO
She’s such a happy and giddy soul, isn’t she, your sister, Roger?
ROGER
Yes, she is. One wonders how we manage to tolerate her enthusiasm.
ALONZO
Now Roger. It’s good she has that spirit. I wouldn’t mind seeing that in you or in Arthur more often from time to time.
ROGER
Really? Sorry to disappoint you.
Anna meanwhile at that moment begins to quake and shiver, and Alonzo turns towards her.
ALONZO
Anna? What is it, Anna my dear? What’s wrong?
ANNA
(scared) Danger! The danger is coming! It’s getting closer and closer and we can’t see it!
ALONZO
What’s coming, dearest? Is it this ‘death’ thing you spoke off?
ANNA
(scared) Land! There is a land…coming for us.
ALONZO
Land? What land’s that, darling?
ANNA
(gradually; scared) The island of death. We’re making for an island of death!
Alonzo is puzzled, whilst Anna is getting more anxious.
* See Appendix: Song Lyrics*
© Tim Bradley, 2025
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