3. “Caught for Hiking!”
SCENE #28 – EXT – AONACH MEADHOIN, SCOTLAND – DAY, AFTERNOON
On the slopes of one of the Five Sisters of Kintail called Aonach Meadhoin, Billy lies there, drenched in water, after his fall from the TARDIS. He slowly comes round after falling asleep, groaning as he wakes up. He then becomes aware that someone is kneeling beside him. It happens to be Cari.
CARI
(gently) “La math.”
Billy, fully awake, sees Cari before him.
CARI
(gently) “La math?”
BILLY
“Pardon?”
CARI
(astonished) “Oh! You don’t speak Gaelic!”
BILLY
No, I’m sorry I don’t. (Pause) Err…Gaelic?
CARI
You are a stranger in these parts then. You’re not a Highlander boy.
BILLY
No, I’m…I’m not.
CARI
Well, this is extraordinary beyond measure. (Pause) Who are you? Why are you here?
BILLY
I’m Billy. Billy Walker (Pause; realises) Am I in Scotland?
CARI
You are indeed! How come you did not know that already?
BILLY
Uh…I only just arrived. (Pause) Can you help me up please? I feel a little stiff.
CARI
Oh, yes of course!
Cari helps Billy onto his feet as he stands up from the ground. Billy stumbles before he leans on Cari for support.
CARI
“Ugh! You’re soaking wet!”
BILLY
“Yes! I fell into a lake or a river once I arrived! I managed to climb up onto the bank and walk a fair way up to her in order to dry myself off! It seems I’ve still got a bit left of my clothes to dry off now!”
CARI
“I see.”
BILLY
(gratefully) “Thanks for helping me up onto my feet!” (Pause) “Pardon me for saying this but…you don’t look or sound Scottish.”
CARI
“I’m Cari! Cari of Roid! I came here with my husband! I’m a descendant of the clan of MacDonald!”
BILLY
(puzzled) “Oh! Are you indeed?”
CARI
“My mother married a Racta man, you see! She was Scottish and a MacDonald! So I came back with my husband to trace my origins!”
BILLY
“I see.” (to himself) “So this must be Scotland in the future then! Aliens in Scotland! I suppose that would happen. Not that I mind that.”
Moment of silence.
CARI
“When I saw you lying on the ground, I thought you were just taking a nap! I believed you were relishing the joys of this magnificent country!”
BILLY
“Uh…yes! I see what you mean! I did find this place soothing when I came up here after landing in the lake!”
CARI
“Loch, you mean?”
BILLY
“Loch. Yes of course! Loch!” (Pause) “I came here with some friends of mine! You haven’t seen them by any chance, have you?”
CARI
“Who would these friends of yours be then? What would they look like?”
BILLY
“A man and a young woman! The man would be wearing a cricketing outfit and a cream coat with a stick of celery on his lapel! He has blonde hair! He’s called the Doctor! The young woman is called Nyssa! She’d be wearing a plum-coloured outfit and velvet trousers! She has a sweet face; ravishing dark-brown curly hair, shoulder-length and lovely beautiful eyes!”
CARI
“Wow! That’s some description!” (thinks) “I don’t think I’ve seen or met people of that description before in my travels. Are they Scottish?”
BILLY
“No! They’re…well, technically, they’re alien but they look just like me!” (Pause) “I have to find them! I need to know if they’re alright, wherever they are!”
CARI
“Well, I’m staying at a castle with the chief of the MacDonald clan! He’s Mr. Henry MacDonald! They’re very hospitable, the MacDonalds! I’m sure they’d be happy to help! And so can my husband!”
BILLY
“That would be great! I’d appreciate help.”
CARI
“Then we must go back down this mountain. We’ll head for Loch Clundie and make our way there.”
Cari takes Billy with her down the slope of the mountain. They then stop in their tracks as two men block their path. Cari gasps once she sees them. The two men train shotguns at them.
BILLY
(startled) “Who…who are they?”
CARI
“I haven’t met these two before in my life! But they’re definitely Highlanders, I know that! One is wearing the Macmillan tartan and the other is wearing the Buchanan tartan!”
BILLY
“How can you be so sure?”
CARI
“Trust me! I’ve read ‘Gaelic Without Tears’ a hundreds of times!” (to Macmillan; Buchanan) “La math?”
Macmillan and Buchanan look at each other before they lower their shotguns.
MACMILLAN
“La math! Tha e blath?”
CARI
(pleased; to Billy) “That seemed to have worked!”
BILLY
“It certainly did! What did you say to them?”
CARI
“It means “Good day!” in Gaelic.”
MACMILLAN
“Tha e blath?”
CARI
“Blah?”
MACMILLAN
“Blath!”
CARI
“Blah?”
BUCHANAN
“You and the girl had better speak in English, Macmillan! Blah is just about all you’re talking about!”
BILLY
(astonished) “You…you speak English?”
BUCHANAN
“Of course! We can speak the plain language you Sassenachs have!”
Apprehensive and puzzled, Cari and Billy prepare to tell these two newcomers their story.
SCENE #29 – EXT – KINLOCH HUORN, SCOTLAND – DAY, AFTERNOON
Meanwhile, Henry MacDonald’s party of grouse shooters have walked a fair amount away from Eilean Donan Castle as they’re on the hill of Kinlock Huorn. A wild stag calls clearly nearby. Ches looks to see the stag stalking on the hill close by.
CHES
(amazed) “Staggering! Such magnificent animals! I have never seen such an incredible beast as that!”
HUGO
“That Mr. Roid is Great Jim! The finest stag Scotland has ever had!”
HENRY
“One of the finest stags Scotland ever had, Kilwhillie! We also have Big Eric, Fierce Robbie…”
HUGO
(interjects; to Ches) “These stags are hailed in this land as being ‘the monarchs of the glen’! A fine artist drew upon this stag and titled it as ‘the monarch of the glen’ itself!”
CHES
“Ah yes! That I’ve seen! An artist by the name of…oh now I forget.”
HENRY
“Sir Edwin Landseer! A fine painting it was too! Even though he was English.”
HUGO
“Sir Edwin drew that painting as part of a series of three panels on an oil-on canvas so that they can be hung in the Palace of Westminster! It was purchased by the Pear’s soap company in Scotland to be used for advertising! It has become a trademark from John Dewar and Son’s distillery to Glenfiddich!”
CHES
“I see.”
HENRY
“Glenfiddich! Finest whiskey malts ever made!” (gasps; shocked) “Hark, Hugo! Look!”
HUGO
“Why?! What do you see, Henry? Is it grouse?”
HENRY
(shocked) “Look over yonder! Walking on my land! It’s the Mackintoshes! What are they doing here?! They have no right to walk a foot on my land!”
CHES
“Mackintosh?! Is that the clan you’ve had feuds over during civil wars in the dark ages?”
HENRY
(determined) “Come on, Hugo; Roid! Let’s see what they want!”
HUGO
“Aye, Henry! Then we shall enjoy the Glorious Twelfth in peace!”
Henry; Hugo and Ches with the rest of the grouse shooters make their way down the hill to where the trespassing Mackintoshes are. The Mackintoshes are Augustus (Gussie) and his wife Lucy. They walk on the hill of Kinlock Huorn before they see Henry MacDonald’s party before them.
LUCY
“Gussie, my dear! There’s that mad man of a MacDonald coming down! They’re going to tell us to beat it!”
GUSSIE
“Not to worry, my dear Lucy. I’ll sort it out!” (calls; to Henry) “Good day to you, Mr. MacDonald! How fares your Glorious Twelfth may I ask?”
HENRY
(bellows) “Get off my land, Mackintosh!”
GUSSIE
(shrewdly) “Well that’s fine manners! No wonder so many people of our community don’t seem to like you!”
Henry MacDonald and his group come face-to-face with Gussie and Lucy Mackintosh.
HENRY
(enraged) “I said ‘get off my land’, you dogs! This is MacDonald territory!”
LUCY
“We’re just taking a stroll! Is there any harm in that? We’re not going to steal your stags!”
GUSSIE
“Besides…you tread on our land whenever you like! Why shouldn’t we do the same on your lands?!”
HENRY
(enraged) “I have the right to tread where I like, sir! I am chieftain of the MacDonald clan! Chieftain of Scotland!”
GUSSIE
“Not yet, you’re not! We’ve still a long way to go before the battle!”
CHES
(interjects) “Oh yes, the battle! The battle where you two…”
HENRY
(shouts; angrily) “Get off my land I say, you dogs!”
LUCY
(angrily) “Fine! We’ll get off your precious land! We hope your precious hikers bite up your land!”
GUSSIE
(bitterly) “And while we walk away, will you tell your son to give our daughter back?”
HENRY
(shocked) “My son?! With your daughter?!”
LUCY
“He’s been all lovey-dovey with her lately! And she’s taken a fancy to him too!”
GUSSIE
“Regarding the circumstances of our feud, we wish not to have our daughter caught in the crossfire!”
HENRY
“And I wish for my son not to be involved with one who belongs to a clan filled with ragamuffins which our forefathers had feuds with!”
GUSSIE
“Those feuds are long gone, MacDonald!”
HENRY
“Not whilst I’m still chieftain of these glens! I prefer my son not to marry a tart such as your daughter!”
LUCY
(defiantly) “Our daughter is a fine example of delicacy and decency!”
HENRY
“She’s a Mackintosh! That’s enough for me to justify how wrong she is for my son!”
CHES
(interrupts) “Henry! Henry!”
HENRY
“Not now, Roid!” (to Gussie; Lucy) “Now, as I was saying…”
LUCY
“Don’t worry! We’re going!” (to Gussie) “Come on Gussie, dear! Let’s leave these cynics to enjoy their fun!”
With that, Lucy takes Gussie by the hand as they head off down the hill. Henry MacDonald and his party become satisfied once the Mackintoshes have gone.
HENRY
(at Gussie; Lucy) “And good riddance to you both!”
CHES
(interjects) “Henry, man!”
HENRY
“What is it now, Roid?”
CHES
“I-I don’t wish to trouble you….but I thought I saw hikers coming!”
HENRY
“What?! Are you sure?”
CHES
“I…believe so. There seem to be two of them. And they don’t happen to be wearing any kind of tartan or kilt to represent their crest!”
HUGO
“Where were they heading, Roid?”
CHES
“They seem to be heading our way! They’re walking around one of those big lochs you Scots have.”
HUGO
“Loch Quioch.”
HENRY
“And that’s where we shall meet them!” (to everyone) “Men! Arm yourselves!”
SCENE #30 – EXT – LOCH QUOICH, SCOTLAND – DAY, AFTERNOON
Meanwhile with the Doctor and Nyssa, they walk on the banks around Loch Quioch. They head for the slopes of Kinlock Huorn.
DOCTOR
“We seem to have walked a fair way! And still we haven’t found Billy or anyone else!”
NYSSA
“Here’s another one of those lakes, Doctor!”
DOCTOR
“Lochs, Nyssa. They call them lochs in Scotland, not lakes.”
NYSSA
“We’ll never find Billy in all this countryside! If there’s no-one about, how are we possibly going to find him?”
DOCTOR
(puzzled) “That’s odd.”
NYSSA
“What’s odd?”
DOCTOR
“This! Down here! In the grass.”
The Doctor kneels down to the ground as he examines something that fascinates him. Nyssa kneels down to join him.
DOCTOR
What do you make of this, Nyssa?
Nyssa then examines what the Doctor has found and analyses it for herself.
NYSSA
(gradually) It’s cable wire. Hidden in the earth.
DOCTOR
Yes. Electrical cabling is very odd to appear in a natural environment such as this.
NYSSA
We could be close to a power station, Doctor. Water from this lake….
DOCTOR
Loch!
NYSSA
(continues) Sorry loch…can provide renewable power for a society in this area to control the atmosphere and environment. It does seem logical for the cable wires to be underneath the earth.
DOCTOR
Then why would the wire be so close to the water? Usually wire connections occur in the power plants rather than outside! And water is churned through a wheel at a power station!
NYSSA
Perhaps they collect their energy by different means.
DOCTOR
No! There’s something not right about this wire cabling! I can feel it!
NYSSA
Doctor, do you have to suppose that things will turn out for the worse all the time? This could be harmless for a change!
DOCTOR
“Oh it’s an instinct I have! When you’ve travelled as long as I have, you can never stop being suspicious about certain things! Things that may turn out to be a big problem!”
NYSSA
(wryly) “Don’t I know it?” (Pause) “Should we go back to the TARDIS? If the systems are functioning normally, we may have a chance to locate Billy in this territory.”
DOCTOR
“We experienced quite a lot of turbulence, Nyssa! There’s plenty of damage for the ship to contend with. I don’t think the TARDIS would be fully repaired by now!”
NYSSA
(gloomily) “No. I suppose not.”
DOCTOR
“Let’s walk up here! Perhaps we may get a clearer view of the place!”
But just as the Doctor and Nyssa are about to go up the hill, they’re suddenly surrounded. The Doctor and Nyssa become enclosed within a circle by Henry MacDonald and his party who come down and surround them on the hill.
HUGO
(barks) “Seize them, gentlemen!”
Rifles and shotguns get trained onto the Doctor and Nyssa.
DOCTOR
“Hands up, Nyssa!”
NYSSA
“What?”
DOCTOR
“Hands up!”
NYSSA
(understands) “Oh. Yes, of course!”
The Doctor and Nyssa raise their hands up whilst they’re being held by gunpoint.
NYSSA
(sighs; annoyed) “We always seem to be blundering into people who threaten us with guns, Doctor!”
DOCTOR
“Indeed, Nyssa.” (Pause; thinks) “Perhaps I should say something to them.”
NYSSA
“It’s probable that they’re not the willing type to listen, Doctor.”
DOCTOR
“How probable is that then?”
NYSSA
“Eighty percent definitely!”
DOCTOR
“Marginal then.”
The Doctor steps forward as Henry MacDonald trains his gun on him.
DOCTOR
(cheerfully) “Hello! I’m the Doctor and this is Nyssa! We’re trying to look for a friend! A young boy! I don’t suppose you’ve seen him…”
HENRY
(interrupts) “Are you in charge, sir?”
DOCTOR
“Sorry?”
HENRY
(bellows) “Are you in charge, sir?”
NYSSA
“There’s no need to shout!”
DOCTOR
“Yes, yes! I am in charge! And as I was saying, Nyssa and I are looking [for…”]
Henry then seizes the Doctor by the collar of his shirt in a rage.
HENRY
(enraged) “You insolent dog, you! You hiker!”
NYSSA
(cries; protests) “No! Stop it! Let him go at once!”
The Doctor gasps for breath whilst he’s being held by Henry.
DOCTOR
(gasps; breathlessly) “If you don’t mind, please. I’m actually losing my breath!” (reacts in pain) “Ow! And you’re going to bruise my bowling arm and ruin my coat!”
Henry then angrily throws the Doctor back down to the ground. The Doctor lies on the ground whilst Nyssa kneels down to help him.
NYSSA
(concerned) “Doctor? Are you alright?”
DOCTOR
(gasps; reassuringly) “Just a little winded, Nyssa. I’ll be alright!”
NYSSA
“Here! Let me help you up!”
DOCTOR
“Thank you.”
Nyssa helps the Doctor up to his feet, as they stand up whilst still being surrounded by Henry MacDonald and his group. Nyssa then turns on Henry.
NYSSA
(angrily; to Henry) What did you do that for?! How dare you…?!
HENRY
They shall be taken back to Eilean Donan Castle! There they shall be put in the dungeons as prisoners!
NYSSA
(shocked) Prisoners?! We haven’t committed any crimes!
HUGO
You hikers have been caught trespassing on these lands!
NYSSA
We’re not hikers! We’re travellers! We came here….
HENRY
(interrupts; barks) Take them back to Eilean Donan! NOW!!!
The Doctor and Nyssa get manhandled roughly by Henry’s grouse shooters as they take them back up the hill of Kinlock Huorn.
DOCTOR
(irritably) “I told you to be careful! I’m very fond of this coat!”
NYSSA
(cries) “Leave us alone!”
As the Doctor and Nyssa get taken away, Ches stands awed next to Henry.
CHES
“How exciting, Henry! You managed to deal with those hikers rather well!”
HENRY
“Thank you, Roid! I’m glad you approve! Though it does mean we will have to forgo our Glorious Twelfth due to our encounter with the Mackintoshes and these…hikers!”
Ches follows Henry as they go back up the hill with the others. Once they’re gone, Jeremy and Iona come out from hiding at Loch Quioch as they’ve been watching what’s happened.
JEREMY
“My father’s taken them away! He’s accused them of being hikers! Just like my father would.”
IONA
“He said…they encountered my family! Perhaps Mum and Dad are close by!”
JEREMY
“I should probably get you back home as soon as possible! If we’re suspected of being together already then…”
Just as Jeremy and Iona are about to leave, they’re stopped in their tracks as they get held by spear-point. Iona gasps in shock once she sees who’s threatening them.
IONA
(shocked) “Jeremy! We’re surrounded! By these ruffians!”
JEREMY
“Don’t you recognise them, Iona? They’re part of our history!”
Jeremy and Iona stand close together, whilst two of these ‘ruffians’ step forward to examine them. They are Duncan and Hamish.
DUNCAN
(intrigued) “They wear strange clothes, Hamish! They look funny too!”
HAMISH
(bemused) “Aye, Duncan! That they do! But at least they’re Scottish!”
DUNCAN
“We should take them back to camp! There we can decide whether to behead them…or cut their throats!”
Iona quivers as she holds onto Jeremy whilst they’re now captives of the ancient Scots, led by Hamish and Duncan.
SCENE #31 – INT – TENT, LUNDIE FOREST – DAY, AFTERNOON
Meanwhile, in a tent within Lundie Forest, Billy and Cari are in the company of Macmillan and Buchanan. Tea gets poured as Macmillan and Buchanan offer some to Billy and Cari. Cari has her cup of tea already whilst Macmillan passes a cup to Billy.
MACMILLAN
“Here, laddie! A cup of tea for you as well as for the lassie! Warm and wet!”
BILLY
“Thank you, Mr. Macmillan. This is really kind of you!”
Billy takes the cup of tea in his hands before he sips it.
MACMILLAN
“Feeling warmer now, laddie?”
BILLY
“Yes! Thank you for letting me having these new clothes to wear! Those wet ones really were giving me the chill.”
CARI
“Thank you for letting us into your tent, gentlemen!” (delighted) “I feel rather privileged! It’s as if we’re being entertained by two Jacobean fugitives!”
MACMILLAN
“Ah! That I’m afraid would not be the case! For one thing, they wouldn’t offer you tea, madam.”
CARI
(to Macmillan) “So, you are a poet!” (to Buchanan) “And you are a lawyer!”
BUCHANAN
“I’m the lawyer…he’s the poet.”
MACMILLAN
“And I’m the poet…and he’s the lawyer.”
BUCHANAN
“It’s easy to get confused which is which, you know.”
CARI
“‘The boat is here. The boat is there. Is the boat here? Is the boat there?’ is far more confusing than your scenario.”
MACMILLAN
“Aye! Thank goodness I didn’t have to write that philosophical debate in my poetry!”
Laughter ensues between the four of them.
BILLY
“So…what are you two doing out here? If you pardon me asking?”
MACMILLIAN
“We’re more than just a lawyer and a bard, lad. We’re also here to play the part…on Scotland’s behalf!”
CARI
“Ah. Such poetry.”
BUCHANAN
“No really! We’re here to save Scotland!”
BILLY
“Why? Is Scotland in trouble then?”
BUCHANAN
“It’s in deep trouble, lad! Far greater trouble than anybody realises!”
CARI
“Why, what’s happened?”
MACMILLIAN
“Scotland is under the tyrannical and backward-looking rule of the chieftain of the MacDonald clan! Mr Henry of that name, son of MacDonald, Hector of the Jackdaw!”
CARI
(shocked) “Henry MacDonald?! Tyrannical?! No! That cannot be! He’s such a hospitable man.”
BUCHANAN
“Then you are fortunate not to have seen his darker side, Miss…”
CARI
“Cari. Mrs. Cari of Roid! And this is Billy Walker!”
BILLY
“Hello there!”
BUCHANAN
“It should be important for you to know Mrs. Cari of Roid and Mr. Billy Walker, that we belong to a special Scottish Nationalist group called ‘The Brotherhood of Scottish Nationalism’. A group who intends to put Scotland back on its feet with a proper ruler and proper policies in place.”
MACMILLAN
“Absolutely! We had considered having the laird of MacDonald’s castle kidnapped!”
BILLY
“What? You’re thinking of kidnapping a Scottish laird?!”
CARI
“I sincerely hope you’re not going to kidnap Mr. MacDonald! He’s been such a good man to me and my husband!”
BUCHANAN
“You live with your husband then?”
MACMILLAN
“Don’t worry, Mrs. Cari of Roid! We had only considered kidnapping Henry MacDonald as a general campaign. If you wish us not to kidnap him, we won’t.”
CARI
“Thank you.”
BILLY
“So you think…Scotland may be in trouble because of some tyrannical ruler. Has this happened before then?”
MACMILLAN
“For a long time, laddie! We thought MacDonald was going to change his way in due course in acquiring his lairdship!”
BUCHANAN
“But now he’s become sneaky and ruthless! We don’t how he’s doing it and we can’t put anything on him that will claim him for breaking Scottish law!”
MACMILLAN
“It seems as if…he’s using some kind of power to conjure great victories!”
BILLY
“What do you mean by that? Power as in…power in general…or…power as in getting something to make chairs come to life or something?”
CARI
(laughs) “That’s silly! No-one can do that!”
MACMILLAN
“Aye! Maybe no, Mrs. Cari. But ever since Henry MacDonald became laird, he has taken over many castles and made them castles of MacDonald which is not right! He has driven out many clans and has made many communities to follow his rule!”
BUCHANAN
“We cannot explain how he’s doing it…but we know it can’t happen overnight!”
BILLY
“Well, perhaps I can help! Or at least…I know a friend who can help! He’s a doctor! He may provide the answers!”
BUCHANAN
“Henry MacDonald maybe mad, laddie…but he’s certainly in no need of a doctor! He’s no sick or ill.”
BILLY
“No, no. He’s not that kind of doctor. He’s…well…he’s a doctor of everything!”
CARI
“Everything?!”
MACMILLAN
“Where is this doctor then, Billy? Where is he now?”
BILLY
“Well, I’m trying to find him! We came here by accident and I fell out of the TARDIS…”
BUCHANAN
(puzzled) “Tardis? And what pray is the Tardis, lad?”
BILLY
“Oh it’s a long story. But please! Do you think you can help me find him? The Doctor?”
MACMILLAN
“Well there are many travellers that come and go in these parts. We’ll certainly be on the lookout if he turns up.”
BILLY
“There’s another person with him! Another friend! Nyssa! She’s a young girl, same age as me, with dark brown, curly hair and…”
BUCHANAN
(interjects) “We’ll certainly be on the lookout for this Doctor and this lassie Nyssa! Don’t you worry, lad! Buchanans and Macmillans never go back on their word.!”
BILLY
“Thank you so much! And I’m sure the Doctor will be willing to help if you asked him!”
BUCHANAN
“Well, we’ll need all the help we can get! Hey, Alan?”
MACMILLIAN
“Aye, James! From the way things are, Scotland will be in turmoil! Nothing will be safe ever again!”
CARI
“What?! Nothing safe ever again?!”
Billy ponders on this as he drinks his cup of tea whilst in the company of Cari, Buchanan and Macmillan.
SCENE #32 – EXT – EILEAN DONAN CASTLE, SCOTLAND – DAY, EVENING
That evening, at Eilean Donan Castle, Maggie walks out to the main castle gate. She’s about to welcome the return of Henry and his group of grouse shooters as they walk back, bringing the Doctor and Nyssa with them.
MAGGIE
(cheerfully) “Hello, Henry dear! Did you and the boys have good sport today?”
HENRY
“We’ve brought two hikers back with us!”
MAGGIE
“Hikers?!”
HENRY
(to Hugo) “Hugo! Put them in the dungeons!”
HUGO
“Righty-ah then.” (to grouse shooters) “Take them to the dungeons! Move!”
Some of the grouse shooters take Nyssa and the Doctor with them, as they escort them to the dungeons inside the castle.
DOCTOR
(pleads) “Please! Will you just listen to us for a moment?!”
NYSSA
(pleads) “We’re not hikers! You haven’t heard our story! Please listen!”
But no-one listens as the Doctor and Nyssa get taken inside the castle. Ches meanwhile approaches Maggie.
CHES
“Mrs. MacDonald? Has Cari come home?”
MAGGIE
(dismissively) “No she hasn’t, Mr. Roid.” (to Henry) “Henry? If they’re not hikers, why did you capture them?”
HENRY
“Because that’s what they are, dear! They are hikers! Their story’s bound to be a pack of lies!”
MAGGIE
“You don’t know that, dear! Where were they when you found them?”
HENRY
“Oh…on the Scottish moors close to a loch! At Kinlock Huorn! Don’t ask me how they got there! I don’t know much about it myself!”
MAGGIE
“Then you should at least hear their story before you send them down to the dungeons…”
HENRY
(interrupts) “I don’t want to talk about it! They’re hikers! That’s good enough for me!”
MAGGIE
“Maybe you should explain that to our management executive…who’s just arrived!”
HENRY
(shocked) “What?! He’s here! Our management executive’s here!”
CHES
(interrupts) “Did you say Cari hasn’t come back yet, Mrs. MacDonald?”
MAGGIE
(agitated) “No she hasn’t, Mr. Roid! I already told you!”
CHES
“Well, shouldn’t something be done about it? She may be caught or killed out there on the moors! She could have fallen off a cliff or gone down a hole! Or a waterfall! Or something…”
HENRY
(urgently; interrupts) “Where is he, Maggie? Where is our management executive?!”
Maggie takes Henry with her, as they head off back into the castle. They leave Ches who stands there anxiously, wondering about Cari’s whereabouts.
SCENE #33 – INT – DUNGEONS, EILEAN DONAN CASTLE – DAY, EVENING
Meanwhile, in the dungeons of Eilean Donan Castle, Nyssa tugs hard at the prison door. But it’s no use as she’s unable to open it. She bangs on the door irritated before she rejoins the Doctor.
NYSSA
(sighs; annoyed) “Locked, as expected. These doors are made of solid iron. A strong and sturdy material.” (reacts in pain) “And rather rusty. The hinges are encased with a few areas of weak points in the metal.”
DOCTOR
(thoughtfully) “The laird. The one who accused us of hiking. He seemed so determined to lock us up without question. I found that rather insulting!”
NYSSA
“He had a ruthless streak in him! He wasn’t considerate when we pleaded to him!”
Nyssa then lets out a shriek as she hops on one foot.
DOCTOR
(puzzled) “Nyssa? What’s the matter? Why are you hopping on one foot?”
NYSSA
(panics) “I don’t know! There’s something crawling up my leg! It feels like a small animal!”
DOCTOR
“Here! Let me look!”
The Doctor brings Nyssa over to sit on the floor. He kneels down onto the floor to take a look at Nyssa’s leg.
DOCTOR
“Can you roll your trouser leg up please, Nyssa? Just to see what it is.”
NYSSA
(anxiously) “Yes, I suppose so.”
Nyssa rolls up her trouser leg as the Doctor requests.
DOCTOR
“Ah! There he is! Err…excuse hands, Nyssa!”
Nyssa squirms nervously as the Doctor grabs hold the creature on her leg. He takes it into his hand, as the Doctor holds it to have a closer look.
DOCTOR
(intrigued) “Yes. Yes!”
NYSSA
“What is it, Doctor? What kind of creature is that?”
DOCTOR
“It’s alright, Nyssa. It’s just a little mouse!”
NYSSA
(disgusted) “A mouse! Ugh! A mouse up my leg! Keep it away from me!”
DOCTOR
“It’s a field mouse, Nyssa! Quite harmless, I assure you! I’ve met a few of these chaps and have got on rather well with them.” (to mouse) “Right, friend! Off you go!”
The Doctor puts the mouse down on the ground as he sees it charging off on the dungeon floor. Nyssa watches too, although she feels apprehensive and disgusted about having a mouse up her leg.
DOCTOR
“See how it runs, Nyssa!”
NYSSA
(interjects) “Doctor? It’s so dank and damp in here! They weren’t considerate in providing us with a light!”
DOCTOR
“No, they weren’t.” (Pause) “This reminds me of when we got arrested and locked up in the tower of London during the eighteenth century! Do you remember, Nyssa? When we met Sir Issac Newton?”
NYSSA
(grimly) “Yes. I prefer not to remember that occasion if you don’t mind thank you, Doctor.”
DOCTOR
“Sorry.” (Pause) “You know it’s odd!”
NYSSA
“What is?”
DOCTOR
From what I heard, the laird’s wife is called ‘Mrs. MacDonald’. So we must be in among the clan of MacDonald in Scotland!
NYSSA
So?
DOCTOR
Well, usually the MacDonald clans are quite hospitable! Rather friendly! And honourable at that!
NYSSA
Perhaps you’re mixing it up with another clan.
DOCTOR
No, no! The Scottish traditions seem wrong somehow as well as for that wiring we found in the grass by the loch earlier today!
NYSSA
(frustrated) There are times when you make no sense at all, Doctor!
DOCTOR
(puzzled) “Hmm?” (Pause) “Oh it’s loose thoughts again, Nyssa! It helps me to relax the mind!”
NYSSA
“Relax?!” (sighs) “I just hope Billy’s not in too much danger.” (anxiously) “Oh I wish he were still with us!”
DOCTOR
“Yes.” (Pause) “You didn’t tell me what happened to you and Billy on Junglos did you, Nyssa?”
NYSSA
(gradually; hesitant) “No. No, I didn’t!”
DOCTOR
(gradually; cautiously) “If there’s anything you want to tell me, Nyssa…about you and Billy…then I’m willing to listen! You know that, don’t you?”
Moment of silence.
NYSSA
(gradually) “I…prefer not to say anything at the moment, Doctor. If it’s all the same to you.”
DOCTOR
“As you wish.”
NYSSA
“Thank you.”
Another moment of silence. Drip-drops from the ceiling echoes in the dungeon.
NYSSA
“I wonder when they’re going to deal with us! I’m feeling rather cramped in here!”
DOCTOR
“Me too, Nyssa. Me too.”
NYSSA
(relieved) “At least we’re not chained up with any manacles! There’s still the dark and dampness though.”
DOCTOR
(surprised) “You’re right, Nyssa! No manacles!”
NYSSA
(realises) “You’ve just had an idea haven’t you, Doctor?!”
DOCTOR
“I certainly have, Nyssa! Help me with this door!”
With that, the Doctor and Nyssa make their way over to the cell door.
DOCTOR
“Now! Attend to detail! Find a weak spot!”
NYSSA
“We need something to break the lock!”
The Doctor kneels down to take a closer look at the door lock.
DOCTOR
“It’s iron girded! And the lock seems compact! Rather ordinary and straight-forward, but it should be easy to open with a key-like structure! That is…if we had one.”
NYSSA
“Will my brooch do, Doctor?”
The Doctor turns to see Nyssa as she takes off her brooch from her collar tunic and hands it over to him.
DOCTOR
“Ah! Your Trakenite brooch, Nyssa! Very practical! Thank you!”
The Doctor takes the brooch from Nyssa, as he begins to insert it into the lock of the door.
DOCTOR
“Now! This may take some time!” (Pause) “I wish I hadn’t left my sonic screwdriver on recharge back in the TARDIS!”
The Doctor works hard as he uses Nyssa’s brooch to break the lock.
SCENE #34 – INT – DRAWING ROOM, EILEAN DONAN CASTLE – DAY, EVENING
In the drawing room of Eilean Donan Castle, Henry MacDonald and his wife Maggie enter. They expect to find their management executive waiting for them. But the place is empty.
HENRY
“Well, woman? Where is he?! Our management executive?!”
MAGGIE
“He was here, Henry! I could have sworn I told him to wait here!”
HENRY
“Well, he’s gone now! And you’ve wasted my time!”
MAGGIE
“Henry, my dear. Shouldn’t you reconsider releasing those people you captured today?”
HENRY
“No, I won’t! They were out on my territory without permission! I had signs put up there saying ‘No Camping’! And ‘No Camping!” they should do!”
MAGGIE
“But they weren’t camping! They were just walking up on the moors!”
HENRY
“Then that makes it all the worse! I wish to give them a lesson by putting them in my dungeons!”
MAGGIE
“Why don’t you just release them? Invite them for supper and let bygones be bygones?!”
HENRY
“What?! Me, a son of the MacDonald clan…release criminals and invite them for supper?! Utterly preposterous!”
SALVADOR
(threateningly) “I should take your wife’s advice if I were you, Henry MacDonald!”
Henry and Maggie become startled as they see Salvador standing before them.
MAGGIE
(astonished) “Why?! Mr. Salvador! We didn’t see you! Would you like a cup of tea?”
SALVADOR
“I repeat…Mr. MacDonald! Invite the two hikers that you’ve captured today to a placatory supper! Then you shall be able to provide them the satisfaction being less suspicious!”
HENRY
(apprehensively) “Then it’ll be mine? Scotland shall belong to the MacDonalds?! To me?”
SALVADOR
“Yes! Scotland shall belong to the MacDonalds! So long as you and your clan can keep your word to attend to the battle! To fight! Once fought and won, your temporary property shall become permanent!”
HENRY
(dreamily; excited) “Yes! Permanent!”
MAGGIE
(slightly annoyed) “I’ll inform Toker the butler that dinner will be served sooner than later then.”
HENRY
(distracted) “Yes!” (Pause) “What?”
SALVADOR
“Remember where you stand, MacDonald! You’re chieftain now of the MacDonalds! But not of Scotland yet!”
SCENE #35 – EXT – LOCH ARKAIG, SCOTLAND – DAY, EVENING
Meanwhile, Hamish and Duncan lead their Scottish troops down a slope with Jeremy and Iona as their captives. They run across Lock Arkaig until they come to a stop to rest.
DUNCAN
(exhausted) “We have run far, Hamish!”
HAMISH
(concurs) “Aye! We have, Duncan! And we still have a fair bit to go!”
DUNCAN
(exhausted) “I don’t think I can run much further! Neither can our lads!”
HAMISH
(determined) “Wallace is expecting all of our troops to be at Falkirk, Duncan! We must show those English what it means to mess with a Scot!”
As Hamish and Duncan lead their Scottish troops forward, Jeremy and Iona talk quietly to each other.
IONA
(quietly) “Jeremy? These Scots of our past were ruthless! So there’s no knowing when they’ll strike!”
JEREMY
(quietly) “We may not have to worry about that, Iona.”
IONA
(quietly; puzzled) Really? And why’s that?
JEREMY
(quietly) I think the hour is approaching! The hour for them to sleep!
Jeremy and Iona are then interrupted as they’ve come to a stop and Duncan approaches them.
DUNCAN
Oy! You! No talking! Not while you’re our prisoners!
HAMISH
Enough, Duncan! There’s no point in abusing them!
DUNCAN
But what are we to do with them, Hamish? We can’t let them go!
HAMISH
I know. But there’s no point in harassing them! We must go on now!
JEREMY
(knowingly) I wouldn’t do that if I were you, sir.
HAMISH
(challengingly) “Oh! And why’s that, man?”
JEREMY
(knowingly) “Because very soon…you and your men are going to disappear! I mean…you will get to Falkirk, of course! But you will be taken there via another means of transport!”
DUNCAN
“They speak strange words, Hamish! They say omens and speak curses! We should kill them now!”
HAMISH
(barks) “Lads! Draw your swords!”
With that, the Scots of William Wallace’s time draw their swords out from their sheaves, as they advance on Jeremy and Iona.
IONA
(cries; anxiously) “Jeremy! They’re going to cut our throats out!”
JEREMY
(reassuringly) “No they won’t, Iona! Trust me, they won’t!”
As Hamish, Duncan and their Scots forces approach, they then suddenly cry out loud in pain. They drop their swords as they crumble to the ground.
DUNCAN
(cries; in pain) “Hamish! What’s…happening to us?”
HAMISH
(cries; in pain) “My head! It’s burning! Burning like fire! I…I can’t stop it!”
DUNCAN
(cries; in pain) “I feel…I…I feel like I’m going to…to…to…d…”
Duncan doesn’t finish what he says as he crumbles to the floor and lies unconscious. Hamish does the same as well as the other Scottish soldiers as they fall to the floor and lie unconscious. Jeremy and Iona watch as they see them fall.
IONA
(astonished) “Jeremy! How did you know when it’d happen?”
JEREMY
“The sweat on their brows! I happen to notice it when one of our old Scottish soldiers goes pear-shaped and a transmat is in progress!”
IONA
(relieved) “It was a quick nick of time in the end! Well done, Jeremy!”
JEREMY
(realises) “Look, Iona! They’re dematerialising!”
Jeremy and Iona watch as the Scots of Wallace’s time, including Hamish and Duncan, soon disappear out of thin air. A whirring noise accompanies this as the plains soon become empty with Jeremy and Iona left standing in the area.
IONA
(realises) “There must be another battle happening!”
JEREMY
“It’s the battle at Falkirk! Probably one of the penultimate battles that my father has on schedule.” (Pause) “I must get you back to your parents, Iona! They’ll be worried sick about you!”
IONA
“But it’s about to rain!”
JEREMY
Then let it rain. Fine Scottish weather never hurt anyone.
Jeremy takes Iona by the hand as they head off back the way they came. Traces of energy still remain of the Scots’ dematerialising in the atmosphere.
© Tim Bradley, 2017
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