13. Escape From Nessie!
Roll original 1982 Peter Davison opening credits
REPRISE
Salvador laughs away out loud mockingly and menacingly, whilst the Loch Ness monster lunches forward to attack the Doctor, Nyssa, Billy and Jeremy in the caves.
(CONTINUES INTO:)
SCENE #130B – INT – SOUTHERN SECTION, CHIEFTAIN’S CAVES – DAY, AFTERNOON
Luckily the Doctor, Nyssa, Billy and Jeremy manage to duck out of the way. They avoid the Loch Ness monster’s advance on them.
BILLY
(gratified) It missed us!
NYSSA
Thank goodness!
SALVADOR
(laughs) Don’t be put off by one spot of luck! The monster never gives up! It will keep on trying to catch you until it eats you up!
Salvador laughs away again mockingly and menacingly, whilst the Loch Ness monster slowly rises up to make a second attack.
SCENE #131 – INT – WEST SECTION, CHIEFTAIN’S CAVES – DAY, AFTERNOON
Meanwhile, in the west section of the Chieftain’s Caves with Cari, Macmillan and Buchanan with Red Bonnet, the terrifying ogress appears before them. She growls viciously and with a great appetite. Cari, Macmillan and Buchanan stand back away from the ogress as she enters.
MACMILLAN
It’s in here with us, James! The ogress! As large as life, it’s in here with us!
BUCHANAN
(agitated) Aye I can see that, Alan! I’m not totally blind!
As the ogress roars again, Cari whimpers as she’s terrified out of her wits.
MACMILLAN
Mrs. Cari, please stop shaking! You’re going to get us all killed if you keep on trembling!
CARI
(whimpers) I can’t help it, Mr. Macmillan! I’ve never seen a creature like this before! And it’s scaring me out of my wits!
MACMILLAN
(concurs) Aye, that it is! A big beastie!
As Cari, Macmillan and Buchanan watch, the ogress lumbers forward towards them. Meanwhile, Red Bonnet plays a tune on his lute.
BUCHANAN
(startled) Look at Red Bonnet, both of you!
MACMILLAN
Why, what is he doing?!
The ogress turns her attention from Cari, Buchanan and Macmillan to Red Bonnet. She watches Red Bonnet playing the tune on his lute.
BUCHANAN
He’s playing a tune on his lute and making a merry dance as I know Red Bonnet to make one!
MACMILLAN
At least he’s trying to bring happiness into an unpleasant situation! He always takes the perilous near-death experience as a joke!
CARI
The ogress seems impressed! She’s entranced by his music!
BUCHANAN
That still remains to be seen, Mrs. Cari.
CARI
What do you mean by that, Mr. Buchanan?
BUCHANAN
When it comes to the ogress from MacKinnon’s Cave on Balmaneach, Island of Mull…
MACMILLAN
(interjects) A wild and lonely place you understand, Mrs. Cari.
BUCHANAN
(finishes) …the ogress is expected to be pleased by a tune of a bagpiper!
CARI
But Red Bonnet’s playing with a lute!
MACMILLAN
Let’s hope then the ogress can be impressed by a tune from a lute rather than the bagpipes!
The ogress then roars angrily which scares the wits out of Red Bonnet himself.
MACMILLAN
And in this case, it seems to be the same as it ever was before!
The ogress then steps towards Red Bonnet. She grabs him in her arms. Red Bonnet cries out in fear.
CARI
That monster’s just picked him up! What’s it doing?!
MACMILLAN
Err…I believe it’s time for you to look away, Cari!
CARI
Look away? Why should I… (gradually; realises; shocked) Ugh! Aww! She’s eating him! The ogress just stuffed Red Bonnet down her mouth!
MACMILLAN
(horrified) Poor Red Bonnet!
Cari, Macmillan and Buchanan watch horrified as the ogress definitely gobbles Red Bonnet down her mouth. She begins to swallow him and eat him whole.
BUCHANAN
(appalled) Horrible! Just horrible!
CARI
I want to get away from here! Can’t we just escape please, gentlemen?
MACMILLAN
James?! Now’s our chance!
BUCHANAN
(concurs) Aye! I quite agree with you, Alan! (to Cari) Mrs. Cari! Back the way we came! Run!
With that, Cari, Macmillan and Buchanan run for their lives to escape. Once they’ve gone, the ogress finishes eating Red Bonnett. She looks around to find no sign of her fugitives. But instead of growling/roaring out loud in anger, the ogress cries and bursts into tears suddenly. After a few moments, the ogress gradually transforms into Iona. She kneels on the ground next to the remains of Red Bonnet, sobbing her heart out.
IONA
(sobs) I’ve done a most ungodly thing! I devoured someone! And I scared off those lovely people! (sobs; loudly) Where shall I find rest?! Where shall I find rest?! WHERE SHALL I FIND REST?!
Iona continues to cry a while longer as she remains alone with no-one else to talk to.
IONA
(sobs) Jeremy? Where’s my Jeremy?!
SCENE #132 – INT – SOUTHERN SECTION, CHIEFTAIN’S CAVES – DAY, AFTERNOON
Back with the Doctor, Nyssa, Billy and Jeremy in the caves, they duck away from the Loch Ness monster attacking them. The Loch Ness monster screeches and snarls as it swirls and splashes about in the water of its mini-loch, trying to catch its prey. Salvador continues to laugh away like mad.
JEREMY
(apprehensively) How long is this going to last for, Doctor?! We cannot have this brute lunging at us all the time in these caves!
BILLY
(anxiously) Jeremy’s right, Doctor! I really think we should make a run for it down one of those corridors!
DOCTOR
(frustrated) By the time we get down those corridors, we’ll soon get caught by the Loch Ness monster’s jaws! (to Salvador) Salvador, please! Let’s talk this over!
SALVADOR
(defiantly) The time for talking is past, Doctor. Dear Nessie is hungry and she needs you four to satisfy her hunger.
DOCTOR
(protests) The Loch Ness monster was just a thought projection conjured up by Billy! Do you really expect the four of us to take your game seriously?
SALVADOR
Oh, this is beyond a game, Doctor. Unlike the run-through battles I arranged for those Scottish soldiers, they’ll all die. And so will you, here and now.
The Loch Ness monster roars again as it lunges at the Doctor, Nyssa, Billy and Jeremy. The four manage to dodge out of its path.
JEREMY
(at Salvador) You vicious fiend!
SALVADOR
Call me what you like, mortal. The glorious Salvador shall be triumphant.
Nessie snarls as it makes to advance again on the Doctor and company.
NYSSA
(thinks) Doctor! These walls contain power cells to generate the thought-patterns from the power chamber!
BILLY
The gemstones we found earlier, Doctor!
DOCTOR
(intrigued) Yes, Nyssa! What are you getting at?
NYSSA
Well, just as these cave walls conjured up the Loch Ness monster for Billy…
BILLY
(interjects) I didn’t ask for this to happen, Nyssa!
NYSSA
(finishes) Would it be an impossibility if we can think of an exit through those walls?!
SALVADOR
(shouts) No! Don’t even think about it!
DOCTOR
(triumphantly) Yes, Nyssa! From Salvador’s anxious behaviour, I’d say the impossible is possible!
NYSSA
(pleased) Thank you, Doctor. That’s excellent.
BILLY
(realises) Nyssa! You’re going to think [of…]
NYSSA
(satisfied) Yes, Billy. I am.
SALVADOR
(shouts) NO!
Within moments, one of the cave walls breaks apart and crumbles to the ground. It creates an exit out into the open outside.
JEREMY
Air! Fresh air! I can feel it on my face! The air’s coming in!
NYSSA
We can get out now! We can go out into the open!
SALVADOR
(shouts) NO! NO, NO! STOP! STOP!!!
BILLY
Well done, Nyssa! That’s brilliant!
NYSSA
Thank you, Billy! But we must take our chance before somebody has other plans for us!
DOCTOR
I concur!
SALVADOR
(shouts) Nessie! Stop them and eat them up!
NYSSA
(shouts) Run, you three! Run!
Nyssa takes the lead as she takes Billy with her, followed by Jeremy and the Doctor out into the open air. This is just before the Loch Ness monster loses its chance to capture them. As soon as the Doctor and company have gone, the Loch Ness monster comes back into the caves to meet an angry Salvador before him.
SALVADOR
(angrily) Incompetent beast! You let them escape!
The Loch Ness monster groans as it plunges back into its mini-loch. Salvador meanwhile contemplates what to do next.
SALVADOR
(menacingly) No matter! It won’t stop the Doctor from coming back! He’ll be trying to save the innocent lives of the pitiable Scots on this planet! He can’t get back into the caves unless he takes the front entrance or the exit he and his friends have just come out of! And when he and his friends come back…they will find themselves in big trouble!
Salvador laughs away again whilst the Loch Ness monster disappears under the water in its mini-loch.
SCENE #133 – EXT – GREAT GLEN, SCOTLAND – DAY, AFTERNOON
Meanwhile with the Doctor, Nyssa, Billy and Jeremy, they run out from the side of the Chieftain’s Caves and now tread on the grounds of Glen Finnan. They’re about a mile away from the caves before becoming exhausted after running for such a while.
JEREMY
Och, am I relieved to have escaped from Nessie?! I can still feel all shaky inside of me! I should be a true Scot and never fear!
NYSSA
We must have come a long way from the caves by now! I think we should slow down!
BILLY
Can we afford to? I didn’t like the way that monster was looking at us.
DOCTOR
The Loch Ness monster was conjured up in your mind within a limited space! It hasn’t fully gained life of its own outside the cave yet! So it will take some time for it to gain full reality!
BILLY
You really think so, Doctor?
DOCTOR
(agitated) With you thinking it up so carelessly, Billy, I can hardly doubt the possibility.
NYSSA
(curiously) I wonder how far we’ve come! What is this place?
DOCTOR
It doesn’t matter, as long as we keep on running.
JEREMY
We’re somewhere about in Glen Finnan. We’ve just past the monument to Finnan and shall soon see the viaduct bridge.
The Doctor, Nyssa, Billy and Jeremy slow down as they find there is now no need to run.
NYSSA
At least we’re safe.
They then look up and see spaceships flying across the skies. Their engines roar as they zoom across.
JEREMY
(uncertain) I’m not sure we are safe, lass. Those flying things in the air don’t look Scottish to me. They seem so far off, they could well be an invasion force.
DOCTOR
An invasion force?
NYSSA
(to Doctor) Doctor, the technology you discovered in the power chamber must be phenomenal for Salvador to create forms of matter into reality. How did he manage to install it in a cave structure like that anyway?
DOCTOR
It’s Time Lord technology, Nyssa. You know how it is, when it comes to things looking bigger on the inside and smaller on the outside.
BILLY
Salvador could have given us an explanation on how to conjure up the thoughts the way he does it.
DOCTOR
Oh, Salvador’s not likely to give explanations, Billy. Besides, his basis of fact is not wholly scientific. He tried to reference it to Plato and Greek philosophy. Theories of forms and change.
JEREMY
And you don’t believe in all that rubbish, Doctor?
DOCTOR
Greek philosophy and the theories of Plato and Socrates may have been reasonable explanations in their time, but it doesn’t help us with solving the real problem.
BILLY
To me, it may as well sound the ticket. Creating matter using the intelligible realm and ideal state. It may sound gibberish, but it might be something to think on as an explanation, Doctor.
DOCTOR
(surprised) I didn’t think you studied Greek philosophy, Billy.
BILLY
I don’t. (Pause) It was something I had to be familiar with when reading Homer’s ‘The Iliad’.
DOCTOR
Ah! Featuring the story of the siege of Troy. Been there myself. It actually happened.
NYSSA
If it’s Time Lord technology, it can’t be the theories that Salvador suggested. Scientific principles concerning time-travel technology and quantum mechanics can only conjure up the matter through block-transfer computation if it needed to.
DOCTOR
Salvador’s not a true Time Lord, Nyssa. He never took in the science part! Besides, I’ve seen other races as well as Time Lords using time-travel technology to present matter into reality as you know well by now.
BILLY
What, you mean anyone can do it? Make things of the past appear before you.
DOCTOR
I faced a race of beings that conjured up the Loch Ness monster before you humans did it, Billy. (Pause) But do you know I said afterwards?
BILLY
What?
DOCTOR
Let Zygons be Zygons.
JEREMY
(interjects) Look, can we get on with finding a place to rest?! After being in those caves for so long, I’m dying of thirst. (Pause) There should be a loch nearby next to Ben Nevis. Loch Eil. We can take rest there by the bank.
NYSSA
Yes! I believe that’s a good suggestion! Hey, Doctor?
DOCTOR
Oh yes, definitely! Watching Ben Nevis from a loch. And…
BILLY
And what?
DOCTOR
(thinks) Yes! Yes, I think that would be a good idea! If only… (to Jeremy) Jeremy? About Loch Eil?
JEREMY
Aye, Doctor?
DOCTOR
Do they have salmon fish in it?
Eventually, the Doctor, Nyssa, Billy and Jeremy make their way through Glen Finnan to Loch Eil.
SCENE #134 – INT – SOUTHERN SECTION, CHIEFTAIN’S CAVES – DAY, AFTERNOON
Back in the Chieftain’s Caves, in the southern section close to the cave entrance, Gussie and Lucy Mackintosh have entered the caves after escaping the attack by the Racta ships. Gussie and Lucy are scared as they make their way through the caves.
LUCY
I’ve never known such darkness. Not since I can remember being scared in my room when I was a little girl by childish nightmares.
GUSSIE
Perhaps this wasn’t such a good idea after all.
LUCY
Oh it’s not your fault we came in here, darling. We had to get out of that dreadful battle. And those horrible flying things in the sky were firing on us.
GUSSIE
Aye! I wonder why those beasties could have raged such a tempest of fire on us. It’s all down to MacDonald of course. If he hadn’t set up this petty feud between us Scots and set a deal with that dreadful Salvador, then none of this would have happened.
LUCY
(concerned) I’m worried about those troops we had. I hope they managed to get out alive.
GUSSIE
Och, aye. That I hope. Them and MacDonald’s men.
A moment of silence ensues.
LUCY
Do you suppose we’ll find Iona in these caves, Gussie?
GUSSIE
Aye, it’s possible. That girl of ours will probably be with that MacDonald son of theirs obviously. If she had stayed at home like a good girl, we could have avoided all this.
Another moment of silence ensues.
LUCY
Do you suppose we’ve been hard on Iona lately, dear?
GUSSIE
How can we be hard on Iona when she’s been on hard on us? You see the way she talks to us nowadays. She wasn’t like that when we brought her up.
LUCY
(thinks) I suppose…we have been treating her like a little girl lately. I suppose it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have thought of her still being little when she came of age.
GUSSIE
(compassionately) Ach, no. Don’t blame yourself, Lucy my dear. We’ll find her alright! And when we do, we’ll set it to rights.
Another moment of silence ensues.
LUCY
Any idea as to where we’re to go from here?
GUSSIE
Not a clue. I didn’t bring a torch with me. We’ll just have to tread carefully and follow the scent of a clear air. That is…if there’s any clear air to smell when we’re in the dark dank of this cave.
LUCY
What about the tales we’ve heard about this place? The folk talk of many dark terrors lurking in here. Terrors which we would not see if we hadn’t entered these caves.
GUSSIE
As they were, Lucy. Tales from folk in Scottish villages like Laggan and Torridon. Nothing to be taken seriously.
Just then, Gussie and Lucy hear the monstrous roar of the ogress coming deep from within the caves. This causes Lucy to tremble as she clings to Gussie’s arms.
LUCY
(trembles) I’m scared, Gussie. I’d hate to think we came in here to be succumbed by the horrible monsters that lurk in the caves.
They then hear the ferocious roar of the monstrous ogress again.
GUSSIE
(reassuringly) Come on, Lucy. Best foot forward as they say.
With that, Gussie and Lucy move on forward through the caves. They tread carefully, keeping in mind of any terrors they may encounter.
SCENE #135 – INT – WEST SECTION, CHIEFTAIN’S CAVES – DAY, AFTERNOON
In the west section of the caves, Iona has now become herself and is now sobbing her heart out in the caves. She cries up against a rock, almost to give a sense that she’s sullen and a seeming wretch. Her moments of sorrow are interrupted when Salvador appears before her.
SALVADOR
(coldly) Like a little girl. You always have to cry.
Iona is shocked and startled when she looks up and sees Salvador there before her.
IONA
(shocked; startled) Keep away from me! You did this to me. Keep away from me!
SALVADOR
Your mother and father always scolded you as parents scold a girl about eight. I gave you a chance to break out of your parent’s over-protective ways and this is how you repay me.
IONA
(cries) Leave me alone! Please stop it! Leave me alone! LEAVE ME ALONE!
SALVADOR
(menacingly) You are a servant of the Dark Lord! The son of greatness! That’s me! I am your Salvador and you will follow my commands!
IONA
The only faith I have in me is the true faith. The faith that everybody should believe in. The faith of…
SALVADOR
(interrupts) You will do as I say!
IONA
(pleads) Please! Please! You’re scaring me! You’re upsetting me! Haven’t you any compassion?
SALVADOR
Salvador’s word shall be obeyed! Say it, Iona Mackintosh! (chants) Salvador’s word shall be obeyed! Salvador’s word shall be obeyed! Salvador’s word shall be obeyed! [Salvador’s word shall be obeyed…]
IONA
(entranced) Salvador’s word shall be obeyed! Salvador’s word shall be obeyed! Salvador’s word shall be obeyed! [Salvador’s word shall be obeyed…]
As Iona continues to repeat Salvador’s words, her voice slowly deepens and she starts grunting and growling. She then transforms slowly into the Ogress again and lets out a ferocious roar that distinguishes anger and rage with sorrow and anguish. Iona the ogress then lumbers off down into the caves and heads off to find someone to terrorise. Salvador watches her go gleefully and lets out an evil laugh.
SCENE #136 – EXT – LOCH EIL, GREAT GLEN – DAY, AFTERNOON
Meanwhile, out in the open air on the banks of Loch Eil, the Doctor, Nyssa, Billy and Jeremy arrive. The Doctor and Jeremy have their fishing rods ready and sit on the bank to the loch with Nyssa and Billy beside them.
JEREMY
(enthused) This is the best stretch of water that I know of where Loch Eil contains the best trout and salmon. With careful precision and cunning, I daresay you’ll be able to catch a few, Doctor.
DOCTOR
Good. That’s very good, Jeremy. I certainly hope to catch some fish compared to my other exploitations with the sport on other planets.
The Doctor prepares his fishing rod as he’s about to target its string into the loch itself.
NYSSA
Doctor, you can’t just sit about on the bank of a loch fishing whilst this planet’s under the rule of a tyrant.
DOCTOR
Oh, I’m only going to spend a few hours’ fishing, Nyssa.
NYSSA
(stresses) A few hours’ fishing may well be too late. Salvador could be deriving Scots from a number of time zones from more than the ones we’ve already seen.
BILLY
She has a point, Doctor. It won’t be just Culloden or the Wallace era. It could be Robert the Bruce, Robbie Burns and even Scotland’s involvement in World War Two that Salvador’s picking these people from.
NYSSA
Exactly! (to Doctor) Salvador would be abducting people from wrong times to appear on this planet with cataclysmic proportions. A reclusion effect would occur if more of Scotland’s geography were positioned inaccurately.
DOCTOR
I’m well aware of the consequences of what Salvador can do, Nyssa. That’s why I need to think on the matter.
BILLY
(puzzled) And you need to fish to do that?
DOCTOR
It relaxes the mind, Billy. It always does when it comes to fishing. Just sitting here on the banks waiting….waiting. Until the right moment in time. A decision can be made to make the right choice.
JEREMY
Aye. Very poetic, Doctor.
DOCTOR
After all, if we’re thinking of heading back to the caves to find the power chamber to shut it down, I need all the resources I have on me to conduct and form a strategy to counteract any tricks and tests that Salvador has laid for us. Particularly as the caves are already able to read our minds.
NYSSA
You’re not seriously suggesting that we go back into those caves to shut down the power chamber.
DOCTOR
You question my suggestion, Nyssa?
NYSSA
It can’t be done. The method of procedure to shut down the cave chamber like that would be too complicated. Even Salvador won’t make it easy for you to shut it down. Not with your mind.
DOCTOR
I don’t see why not. It worked for me when I found Billy in the power chamber. It worked for Billy when he thought of his Loch Ness monster.
BILLY
Don’t mention that please, Doctor
DOCTOR
And I’m certain it worked for you, Nyssa, when you conjured up the thought of seeing and reuniting with Billy again. I imagine Billy did the same, despite the size of the cave structure.
BILLY
(puzzled) Hang on, what does that mean? (to Nyssa) Nyssa?
NYSSA
(grimaces) Doctor!
DOCTOR
(realises) Oh yes, I remember. You were meant to keep it a secret. Sorry.
BILLY
(puzzled) Sorry? (to Nyssa) Nyssa, what’s the Doctor ‘sorry’ about?
A moment of silence ensues.
BILLY
Nyssa?
NYSSA
(gradually) He knows, Billy. The Doctor knows about us.
BILLY
What?! (to Doctor) Doctor, you knew all the time that Nyssa and I are… And you never said anything.
DOCTOR
Yes, I knew. Or at least, I knew when Nyssa told me.
NYSSA
It’s true. I did tell him.
BILLY
(surprised; to Nyssa) You told him?! You told him about us?!
NYSSA
Yes.
BILLY
(bewildered) But…but I thought you wanted to keep it a secret, Nyssa! Between you and me!
NYSSA
I did. I wanted to keep it a secret. But that was before I realised… (Pause) Anyway, it’s done. The Doctor knows. (concerned) Please don’t be angry with me, Billy.
BILLY
(agitated) I’m not angry, Nyssa.
NYSSA
You’re raising your voice when you say that, Billy. I understand you being put-off by this sudden revelation.
BILLY
(agitated) I’m not put-off. I just thought that…after all we talked about… (Pause; sighs annoyed) I wish you would make your mind up!
NYSSA
What?
DOCTOR
It’s often the way, Billy. Girls, especially in Nyssa’s case, have a tendency to be indecisive and change their minds. Particularly with the same level of intelligence as Nyssa.
NYSSA
(ruefully) I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that, Doctor.
JEREMY
(agitated) I wish you three would stop blethering. You’re scaring the fish away the way you blether.
The Doctor then gets a tug at the string of his fishing rod. Jeremy recieves the same as both he and the Doctor have caught something already from the loch and they become excited.
SCENE #137 – INT – WEST SOUTHERN SECTION, CHIEFTAIN’S CAVES – DAY, AFTERNOON
In the south-west section of the Chieftain’s Caves, the Jacobean soldiers Alistair and Ewan take Ches with them as their hostage. They make their way through the caves in an aimless direction. Ches struggles to break free as Ewan holds of him whilst Alistair uses torch-light to see his way through the caves.
CHES
I demand you two let me go at once! I am Ches of Roid from the Racta Empire and demand to be released!
EWAN
Quiet, you Sassenach! You don’t know who you’re dealing with. We’re fine Scottish troops from the Battle of Culloden! We’re the finest soldiers that Scotland ever had!
CHES
(scoffs) The finest idiots that Scotland ever had! (pleads) Listen, you two. I won’t say anything or report you. If you let me go, I won’t have you two killed on the spot by your enemies. I promise you that.
ALISTAIR
You’re coming with us, you bounder! We’re going to keep you in these caves until those enemies of ours soon catch up. Then we’ll have our chance of freedom.
CHES
(laughs) You call this freedom?! You’re not going to get much freedom after today is over!
ALISTAIR
And what de ye mean by that?!
EWAN
(interrupts) Alistair?!
ALISTAIR
What is it, Ewan?
EWAN
This cave architecture. It’s the strangest I’ve seen. Quite like nothing I’ve seen before. All those sparkling gems and symbols on the walls and ceiling.
ALISTAIR
(amazed) Get away! (Pause) Aye you’re right there, Ewan. The architecture is most peculiar. As well as its interior. It’s a wonder Bonne Prince Charlie never claimed it. I wonder what he’d have to say about all of this.
EWAN
I don’t even remember it ever being on our Scottish map. (Pause) How long have we been down here anyway? We must have gone through these caves for hours.
ALISTAIR
It’s too dark in here. Even with this torchlight I have, I still can nae see a thing.
CHES
(shrewdly) You see! Not a clever idea, was it? To bring me in here as a hostage without knowing where we’re going. So if you’ll just let me go…
EWAN
(to Ches) Silence, you!
ALISTAIR
(hushes) Ssh, both of you!
Alistair and Ewan with Ches stand still as they become startled into silence.
EWAN
Alistair, what is it?
ALISTAIR
I thought I heard something. I heard a sound.
CHES
(out loud) I didn’t hear anything…
ALISTAIR
(hushes; sharply) Quiet and listen.
They then listen as they hear footsteps approaching.
ALISTAIR
Did you hear that, Ewan?
EWAN
Aye! I heard. (Pause) It sounds like three of them coming this way. (Pause) We draw our cutlasses. We shall challenge who comes.
CHES
Without even knowing who or what?
EWAN
Mind your own business.
ALISTAIR
Hold your ground, Ewan.
EWAN
Why, Alistair? It may be the enemy.
ALISTAIR
We shall do this properly and in the aforesaid manner. (Pause) But keep your sword at the ready should we need it.
EWAN
Aye.
Ewan then draws his cutlass out from his sheath at his side. Meanwhile, Alistair steps forward, as the footsteps come around the corner. Three people enter. They’re Cari, Macmillan and Buchanan as they see Alistair and Ewan with Ches before them.
ALISTAIR
(calls) Who goes there? Friend or foe?
MACMILLAN
We’re Scottish. Is that not enough?
BUCHANAN
Careful, Alan. That small chap’s got a cutlass.
ALISTAIR
Well, well, well. If my eyes no deceive me. A Macmillan and Buchanan.
EWAN
Aye. Particularly if they wear strange colours for their kilts and tartans.
CARI
(overjoyed) Ches, my dear! Is that you?
CHES
(thrilled) Cari, my dear! Oh thank Racta, I’ve found you at last!
CARI
Ches, my dear!
Cari runs over to Ches, as Ches runs over to Cari.
EWAN
Wait!
ALISTAIR
Let him pass, Ewan. If he’s her man, then that’s well.
Cari and Ches meet each other and embrace . They kiss once reunited.
CHES
Cari, my dear. I’ve been so worried. The search parties they said they had at Eilean Donan have been terrible. They never reported finding you at all when I asked them time and time again.
CARI
Oh, Ches! It’s so good to see you. I’ve been having a whale of time and had lots of fun.
CHES
Who are these two men? Are they friends of yours?
CARI
Yes! Two out of three of my new-found friends! This is Mr. Macmillan a poet and Mr. Buchanan a lawyer.
Ches steps forward to greet Macmillan and Buchanan, shaking them by their hands.
CHES
Very pleased to make your acquaintances, gentlemen.
MACMILLAN
Likewise.
BUCHANAN
We find your wife a most charming lady. We’ve had her in our care to see her safely back to you, sir!
CHES
Oh, how kind! I do hope we’ll see each other more whilst we reside on Scotland.
MACMILLAN
And we’d like nothing better. Your wife has made us proud of our Scottish heritage.
BUCHANAN
Yes, mighty proud.
CHES
(to Cari) Oh, Cari, my dear! I’m so glad you’ve been able to find such impressive gentlemen as these. Since one of them is a lawyer, it should make our settling here easier.
CARI
(surprised) Reside on Scotland. Ches, I don’t understand.
CHES
Well you see, it’s like this. I’ve been talking [to…]
As Cari and Ches continue their reunion, Macmillan and Buchanan go over to greet Alistair and Ewan.
BUCHANAN
Can we take it there’ll be no hostility between us whilst we remain in these caves, gentlemen?
EWAN
Aye! We take it then that you’re no friend of the English government.
ALISTAIR
No collaborator? Since your friends, the strange ones, happen to be on the side of the Scots.
MACMILLAN
Mr. Ches and Mrs. Cari have nothing to do with your war. They’re merely visitors from…another place.
BUCHANAN
But we can assure you, we don’t intend allying ourselves with an enemy who threatens the perseverance of Scotland’s future. We seek to protect it and stop Henry MacDonald from bringing it into chaos.
MACMILLAN
We’re part of a Scottish Nationalist Party, you see.
EWAN
Oh we know nothing about Scottish politics. We’re just plain soldiers wanting to be home with our wives.
BUCHANAN
Can we take it then you’re willing to make peace with us?
ALISTAIR
I am…and so is Ewan, if you wish.
MACMILLAN
We do, sir! Otherwise, we’d never have asked.
ALISTAIR
Very well. We accept your peace. We’re allies now. (Pause) I’m Alistair of the Clan MacDonald who fights for Scottish freedom against the Redcoats.
EWAN
And so say I. Ewan’s my name. Ewan Chishom.
MACMILLAN
We’re obliged to meet you, Mr. MacDonald; Mr. Chishom.
CHES
(interrupts; to Macmillan; Buchanan) Pardon me for interrupting, but did you two say you were Scottish Nationalists?
SCENE #138 – EXT – CAVE ENTRANCE, CHIEFTAIN’S CAVES – DAY, AFTERNOON
At the entrance to the Chieftain’s Caves, Henry MacDonald with Hugo Kilwhilllie see the Racta ships touching down on the ground from a distance after the previous Scottish battle ended in shambles. Henry is infuriated with the outcome whilst Hugo stands by to support him.
HENRY
(infuriated) They can’t do this to us! They just can’t, Hugo! They can’t!
HUGO
Aye. They can nae do.
HENRY
I mean, how could they interrupt a fine battle when it was all going so well? Add to that, we’ve lost our good man Ches in battle when kidnapped by Mackintosh’s Scots! And now he’s disappeared!
HUGO
Like I said before, what could Ches’ people want to shoot us on the ground for?
HENRY
It’s a shameful disgrace! Not only do we have hikers smacking down our signposts with NO CAMPING on it and having Scottish Nationalists telling us what to do with our ways, we now have an alien invasion force brought down on us! Why did it have to happen today of all days? I can claim full possession of what our lord and management executive has promised us!
MAGGIE
Hello, Henry dear!
Henry and Hugo turn to see Maggie before them.
HUGO
(amazed) Why, if it isn’t your good lady wife, Henry.
HENRY
(astonished) Maggie! What are you doing on the field of battle? I thought you were keeping charge of Eilean Donan Castle.
MAGGIE
I left Stevie in charge! I was summoned to see how you two were doing.
HENRY
(sceptically) Stevie?! Left in charge? Bah! You can’t expect him to take charge after the way he messed up keeping an eye on the Doctor when he escaped.
HUGO
Summoned you say, Maggie? Summoned by whom?
Salvador then appears before them. Henry, Hugo and Maggie are startled.
SALVADOR
I summoned her! I commanded her to meet you two here!
HENRY
My lord Salvador! We are honoured indeed!
SALVADOR
You have failed me, Henry MacDonald! You have failed in your victory against the Mackintoshes!
HENRY
(protests) No! No, I haven’t, my lord. Honest, I haven’t! It was those Racta aliens! They interrupted us!
SALVADOR
(interrupts) And because of your failure, I shall let you see your own wife die before your eyes as she fades out of existence!
Henry watches shocked and horrified, as he sees his wife Maggie slowly fading away. She becomes disorientated and in pain as Maggie crumbles to the ground. She slowly begins to lose parts of her body.
MAGGIE
(disorientated) My hands! My face! (to Henry) Henry, my dear! Please, help me!
HENRY
(protests; to Salvador) Stop this! Stop this at once, my lord!
HUGO
(protests; to Salvador) You’re killing her! You’re killing the loveliest woman in the whole of Scotland, man!
HENRY
(pleadingly; to Salvador) Please! Please, my lord Salvador! Give me another chance!
SALVADOR
(coldly) You had your chance, MacDonald. And you’ve lost it. You have failed your own lord and master.
HENRY
(pleads; to Salvador) Please give me another chance. I’ll do anything you want. Anything. Only please spare my wife!
SALVADOR
(thoughtfully) Anything? You’ll do anything for me? For your lord and master?
HENRY
Yes! Anything! But please, please spare my wife
A moment of silence esnues, as Salvador considers whilst Maggie suffers.
SALVADOR
(gradually) Very well. You shall have your wife again.
With that, Salvador restores Maggie back to normal. She falls to the ground exhausted and faints. Hugo comes round to help Maggie up from the ground.
HUGO
(comfortingly) Here you are, Maggie. I’ll help you up.
Hugo helps Maggie up onto her feet, bringing her around to full consciousness. Maggie gradually makes her way over to Henry and she hugs him in a warm embrace.
MAGGIE
(sobs) Henry, dear.
HENRY
(reassuringly) It’s alright Maggie. It’s alright, your hubby’s here. You’re safe.
Maggie sobs whilst Hugo addresses Salvador.
HUGO
What is it you want Henry to do then?
SALVADOR
Simple really. (Pause) Take your gathering of MacDonalds into the caves.
HENRY
(shocked) What?! You expect me to enter into those dark dank caves?
SALVADOR
(interrupts; sharply) You will do as I say! Unless you wish your wife to be tortured again.
A moment of morbid silence ensues.
HENRY
What are we to do when we get inside?
SALVADOR
There’s no need to be afraid. There are two Jacobean Scots in your caves.
HUGO
Aye! We saw them take our friend Roid.
SALVADOR
They must be stopped from reaching the power chamber. Especially that friend of yours.
HENRY
Roid? What’s he got to do with anything?
SALVADOR
He’s more than the tainted guest you believe him to be! More than the dim-witted enthusiast he appears. Do not trust him. Stop him at all costs. Don’t let him encounter the secrets of the caves!
HUGO
But why? Why should Roid harm… ?
SALVADOR
(interjects) You will obey me! You will receive further instructions later.
HENRY
What about those aliens! Will they destroy my lands?
SALVADOR
No need to fear about that. You concentrate on getting your gathering into the caves. I shall deal with your alien invasion with your own troops.
With that, Salvador then disappears out of sight. Henry, Hugo and Maggie are left completely baffled and bewildered.
HENRY
(concerned; to Maggie) Are you alright, Maggie? He didn’t hurt you, did he?
MAGGIE
I can’t really remember what happened. But I’m feeling alright. (Pause) Perhaps we should call all MacDonalds to gather immediately and tell them we’re about to enter the caves.
HENRY
That’s all very well, my dear! But how are to find all of them? They scattered once our battle got interrupted.
HUGO
(interrupts) You won’t have to worry on that front, Henry.
HENRY
(puzzled) What’s that, Hugo?
HUGO
Look! On that hill! The MacDonalds of our gathering are up there! And it seems they have company!
Henry, Hugo and Maggie look to see the MacDonald gathering standing on top of a hill with some very unfriendly and hostile Racta aliens behind them.
HENRY
It’s them! Those Racta aliens! Roid’s people! They’ve caught our MacDonalds!
MAGGIE
What are we to do? We can’t go into the caves without them. Salvador will be furious with us.
HENRY
We must get away!
Henry, Maggie and Hugo turn and head the other way before bumping into some more Racta alien troops. The Ractas raise and train energy weapons at them. They aim their weapons on Henry, Hugo and Maggie, with their triggers at the ready.
HUGO
(disgruntled) Too late, Henry. We seem to be surrounded.
HENRY
An ambush!
One of the Racta aliens then steps forward to meet Henry, Hugo and Maggie. It turns out to be Lord Budt’s secretary, Mr. Pew.
PEW
You are Henry MacDonald, laird of Scotland?
HENRY
Allegedly! Just what is the meaning of this? Who are you people?
PEW
You are under arrest for crimes against the Racta Empire.
HENRY
(protests) Now see here!
PEW
You will all be taken into the caves to await questioning! (to Racta soldiers) Soldiers! Escort them!
The Racta soldiers obey as Henry, Hugo and Maggie get taken away and forced to enter the Chieftain’s Caves. Henry, Hugo and Maggie struggle to break free, but to no avail. They soon rejoin the MacDonald gathering as they’re taken inside the caves by the Racta aliens, led by Mr. Pew.
SCENE #139 – INT – SOUTHERN SECTION, CHIEFTAIN’S CAVES – DAY, EVENING
It is now evening. Inside the Chieftain’s Caves, the Loch Ness monster swirls about in its mini-loch before Salvador appears to meet him. The Loch Ness monsters growls apprehensively whilst Salvador speaks to him.
SALVADOR
You are ready to leave your dwelling place, great beast.
The monster roars as it heeds Salvador’s words.
SALVADOR
You are able to swim deep down and out into the open, so that you can leave these caves! When you’re down deep, swim forward and make for the nearest loch! The Doctor and his company of friends will be there for you to devour.
The monster roars a seemingly cheer at the word ‘devour’ by Salvador.
SALVADOR
Go now! Make haste! Find your way out of these dwellings and head out into the open. Find the Doctor and his friends and destroy them utterly!”
Nessie the monster roars as it plunges back down deep into the mini-loch it inhabits. The monster swims away and goes underwater. Once Nessie’s gone, Salvador laughs out loud as he stands alone, feeling triumphant at last.
SALVADOR
(triumphantly) Soon, all shall be for Salvador to play with. I shall be the only one to give the rules. I shall command people to do as I say. I…Salvador…shall be God!
© Tim Bradley, 2017
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